Husband thinks I was wrong for letting toddler do this

[kellyb85]

Ok so we went for a walk with 3 year ds today and we rushed out the door as in-laws were round (again at teatime!!!!!!)
anyway we had only been walking for 5 minutes when I noticed my little lad was holding himself. I asked him if he needs a wee and he said quite urgently yes I’m going to wee myself. He has only recently potty trained so although I’m trying to get him to hold it a little more, when he has to go he has to go! So I quickly get him to a drain and me and daughter make a little circle around him and let him wee in a drain. My husband was mortified by this! He couldn’t believe I let this happen right in the middle of the street, I explained that he was desperate and it was our fault and surely a quick wee in a drain then walking round with a massive wet patch on his pants
what would you do in this situation?
obviously usually he goes before we leave the house but as we are still new to potty training we, the parents also need training! Also this is something I wouldn’t normally do as I would try and find somewhere to hide but a I knew the area and knew there wasn’t anywhere close by the middle of a street was our only option. it is also a very quiet street

just curious as to what everyone thinks. My husband thought it made us look like ‘tramps’

My youngest had the bladder of a flea. School pickup within five minutes of the drive I'd have to stop and let him out of the car to pee. He's still a whizzer as a man. My grandson is the same we always try to go somewhere within reach of loos trees bushes or the back wheel of my car.

Your husband is an uptight weirdo.

My 2 year old calls it 'watering the grass' - your DH would hate me 💁‍♀️

I have 8 x ds's... Aiming at my car wheel was an absolute highlight for them!!

This is crackers

It’s totally normal to have the odd toddler wee in a public place.

Tell your husband he’s a muppet

Of course it's completely normal.

I got caught out when 3 year old DD claimed she needed the loo while we were in a park where the toilets were locked. Took her behind a bush only to find that she needed both a wee and a poo, so I had a turd to dispose of. It's part of parenting. I made sure after that always to ask which she needed.

He'd be horrified at my 4yo DS who takes every opportunity he can to do a 'nature wee' or water my plants!

Well my little lad ran to him first and Dh’s reply was “you’ll just have to hold it” what an idiot!

Yeah my 3 year old wees in the bushes regularly. If he was going to wet himself I’d let him wee down the drain, although he has better bladder control than me tbh (which isn’t saying much)
Last week he had a poo in an Asda carrier bag behind a wall. Needs must.

My mother (who has 4 kids) would say it’s disgusting and he should have been forced to hold on

I’ve had 6 kids-and I’ve done it with every single one of them-when they need to go,they need to go

its not like he pissed up someone’s front door or wiggled it about for no reason in the street

(oh,and my mother has a fucking short memory-my brothers have always pissed behind trees/drains/grates/hedges-and always have done-all in their 40’s now-I have clear memories of it being unfair that I had to hold it and they could piss wherever just because they where boys)

Ime it's a perk of having a ds. My pfb dd would only use a proper toilet.. And not even the outdoor council concrete ones!!
Snob!!

I imagine that he thinks you should have taken him before he left home

Over a drain and 3 year old I think is fine. However the scruffy person on our recent holiday who let their kid piss at the sun loungers everyone was sitting at is not ok😷😷🤢🤢

Why didn't he then?

Most kids do bush/drain wees at that age, it’s cruel to make him walk around in wet clothes, people don’t mind small children doing alfresco wees!

That's not a solution for the immediate issue though is it? And he could have taken the DS for a wee before they left home too, just as much as the OP could have done.

My toddler peed in the display toilet of B&Q! We didn't notice as we were deep in conversation with the sales person and were mortified when he came over to tell the man the toilet handle wasn't working!!!

Absoutely fine. We all do/did this with our only just potty trained kids, surely? Except @TeachesOfPeaches who, quite incredibly, and I really can't get my head round this, would let her child wet himself (in which case presumably the wee would end up on the pavement rather than down a drain) and leave her kid uncomfortable and upset.

I used to call it a "Farmers Wee". The kids would be fine one minute then wriggling and "need to go NOW!!" but didnt want to go outside. As we live in the countryside I would explain that Farmers dont leave their fields to go all the way back to their house for a wee, they do it in the hedge. They were fine with it after that!

Needs must. Anyone who judges has never had kids or has got a very short memory!

Why is it her job?

Gosh, DD2 used to regularly wee next to trees when we went for walks. If dogs can do it why can’t 3 year olds?!

So your toddler told you he needed a wee? I think that is wonderful ! Never mind where he weed, the point is he told you he needed a wee and that is a milestone moment OP!

What your saying is that you would have let your child pee in public if needs be, and did in fact encourage it, but your child chose (and was able) not to?

So because you have managed to create a superior child to the rest of us, our kids should be made to piss themselves when caught short?

My youngest seemed to enjoy 'watering trees' so much that his older brothers called him The Phantom Gardener🌴