To think other cultures are far more invested in their DCs education than UK parents?

[Commentqueen]

Just an observation from our area... We live in a really diverse area & it's amazing. My dc go to state school with children with Eastern European, Chinese, German, Scandinavian, Bangladeshi, Nigerian & Japanese parents... The work ethic is unbelievable & the parents don't seem to trust the school to educate their kids, they do alot themselves outside school with the dc.. The UK parents in the class are alot more relaxed when it comes to education...
Aibu to think the UK just isn't as invested in education as other cultures?
The Ukranian refugee crisis also highlighted that the ukranian children joining British & Irish schools were away ahead in maths in comparison to their new counterparts & many also had excellent English... The UK really lag behind in foreign languages.. In years to come my dc who only speak English so far will be competing for jobs with dc who speak 4 or 5 languages fluently... I know come September I'll be doing my best to prepare my dc better!

Well I don’t know how UK parents think but I’m from one of these countries.
Having an education is the difference between getting a decent job, or manual Labour for life.

Also while people complain about social mobility in the U.K. it’s a world away from those countries. The U.K. has benefits (whether enough is a separate question), there is at least some sense of needing to be social mobility, discrimination is illegal on paper, you can get government backed education loans/ qualifications. More importantly people don’t look at degree subject!

There are no benefits In my country. So the smartest one has to provide for the whole family, pay for siblings. Equality is deeply entrenched and accepted by society. Most people don’t think migrant workers deserve any rights, and that people from certain ethnic groups are lesser. And should stay there. I’m from one of those ‘lower’ groups and people even put up signs saying ‘only higher ethnic groups’ for renting properties, jobs, everything.

No work, no food. That’s it. Very simple. And education is a means of ensuring that you always have food.

Also because education is so expensive it represents a substantial, whole family effort. Parents saving since children were born, selling cars, furniture anything they can get their hands on.
Some people do take private loans a but these obviously have massive interest.

’Enjoying’ life is only an option for the privileged and comfortable. Everyone else is too busy surviving.

Also we don’t have great language teachers.
We just have so many ethnic groups with their own language. We speak it because we have to.

I used 3 languages on a daily basis…. Not just to speak but TV shows, ads, documents, road signs. When it’s all around you there’s nothing to ‘learn’ you just absorb it.

No, it’s because I know there is a gap between where he is and where he needs to be terms of achievement. He’s clever but he needs to practice as he makes silly mistakes in subjects that he’s capable in. FWIW I wasn’t a particularly hard worker at school but I was focused on what I needed to do to get the grades.

I think generally, immigrants who have done it tough, really tough, push their kids a lot more when it comes to education. I lived in China for a bit, and the kids face an enormous amount of pressure, some to the point of suicide. But, I hear nothing compares to the relentless pressure Korean children face. Hours and hours of lessons after school each day, from a very young age.

An average earner here can expect free healthcare, to buy a small house with 2-3 bedrooms in a suburban town (not desirable or close to economic centres like London) if coupled up with another average earner, at least 1 holiday a year (even if its just camping or in a country with cheap cost of living), to run at least 1 car, to eat fairly well and a few luxuries. British culture is focused on leisure and one's personal happiness- countryside walks, nature, gardening, a pint or two on a sunny day, holidays, pets are prized. It is actually much less materialistic than many cultures and also very individualistic. So most people don't feel the need to push themselves academically because they are comfortable with the lifestyle of an average british person.

Yes there is also huge inequality and poverty but the tabloids have convinced the British public that the reason for their misery is not lack of education, but poor decision making i.e. not getting a job, having too many children.

You included Ireland in your OP but Ireland is very similar to the countries you spoke of. In my parents generation abject poverty was the norm. My father’s family was dirt poor as were those around him and they lived rurally, urban poverty was absolutely slum like throughout the 1950s here. Education was literally the only way out of that and there is enormous emphasis on education here too. Teaching is still a very highly regarded career here too.

These last 2 generations are the first two where the country isn’t completely impoverished.

Oh and we are also a country of emigration and immigration. People moving and sometimes returning from the UK and US to try to support family at home.

Totally agree, I’ve taught both in the uk and Asia and there’s a clear cultural difference in terms of the value placed on education. In Britain we have strange negative assumptions about academic achievement - people who like to study/are good at studying are weird, overachieving ‘boffins’ etc. I have some higher level academic experience which I do not generally talk about with people I don’t know well in this country because I usually receive a negative/suspicious reaction. In Asia, the reaction is always a genuine ‘great, good for you!’. Perhaps this is partly as others have said because it’s possible to live comfortably without academic qualifications more easily here. But also I think linked to the class system - knowing your place, being humble and so on. Especially for women!!

When my daughter was in primary she had a friend of Malay heritage and this friend's mum filled every waking hour outside of school with tuition, sports and music clubs. To us, a white British family, it looked exhausting.

But on the other hand, we are fortunate to have been able to supplement our DD's education with trips out, going to the library, having educational toys and books, museum visits etc...maybe soft options but we wanted to enable her to learn as a pleasure, not just to pass exams. Lifelong learning, if you will.

Maybe I'm not as aspirational for my child as some of her friends parents are but I still want her to do her best and ultimately be happy.

I'd like to think, I'm teaching my children to look for opportunities, I've always, been what is classed as free-lance, then a business owner. I'd like my children to follow that path. I do not want them to become institutionalized simpletons.

@bigbluebus TV from as soon as they can talk. Plus computer games and books.

I've asked people I studied with and worked with plus interacted with their 2-5 year old children in their home countries. The children will talk to me in English.

My parents are Eastern European immigrants and very much took this kind of approach with me when I was growing up (born here).

It opened up a lot of doors for me in terms of university and subsequently career, but a small part of me still resents them for not letting me just be a kid. I love them very much and am hugely grateful - they definitely thought they were doing the right thing, and put their whole hearts into it. But it often felt quite restrictive and dull, and I wish I'd had more independence and more fun.

Funnily enough, they actually think they were very liberal (and they probably were, compared to some of their friends from similar backgrounds) but I always felt smothered. No Spice Girls or sleepovers, it was classical music and novels on repeat...

At my first job (very competitive grad scheme) it struck me how many of the other grads were also second-generation immigrants. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, so much of it was about proving myself and showing misplaced gratitude to my parents rather than it being something I "really wanted to do." In fairness, they never encouraged me to follow a certain career, but I felt I had to do the "difficult" thing to show it had not all been in vain.

From sample size of 1 - our household - I entirely agree.

My spouse (white British) is completely chilled about DC education whilst I (Indian, first gen migrant, academic by profession) am definitely way more involved, do lots outside school. I do think other confounding variables like - gender (me being the woman), and profession (me being a university academic) May also have to do with this difference but most definitely there’s a perceptible cultural difference between approach to education in India versus what I see here for example!

This is very true but there also a nasty streak of jealousy that runs through the country. At times like this when the cost of living crisis means that people can’t maintain that life style, the answer isn’t to work harder but to blame “the rich” and ask people who did work hard to pay more tax. Equally on threads about high earners, there are plenty who deny that high earnings are down to hard work (at school and beyond) and an element of risk taking but put it all down to luck and privilege.

I’m not saying luck and privilege doesn’t play a part btw but it’s rarely the whole story.

100 million % agree. But it's not always a good thing. I know (and DH and DC know) quite a number of people from certain cultures - especially Asian - where it's not an option to simply be a shop assistant or even a manager of a shop, or to work in a factory etc. They MUST get a university degree, it MUST be an academic one, and they MUST go into a 'proper' profession (in their eyes...) EG, medical, science, law, lecturer, mathematician, etc... I know/have known many a person of certain cultures who are doing a certain job because it was expected of them by their family, and NOT because it was their dream.

GPs, vets, dentists, consultants, surgeons, lawyers, all manner of professions have many people who would not have been in these jobs if it had been their own choice. My DC knew many students at college and Uni who were studying Law or Medicine or Science, but they really wanted to do drama or music or media. Their parents laughed in their face, and said 'no WAY! You are getting a proper degree, and doing a proper job!' Now IMO, any job is a proper job and any degree is worthy and so are all careers, but in some cultures, you MUST go into Law or Medicine or Science, or something similar, and it MUST be 'academic!'

As for the ones who DON'T go and get the swanky academic degree (and the career) that their family demands, they end up working for the family business.

nb; there are, of course, many people in these professions who ARE happy with it, but some are only there because it was expected of them.

My parents have never considered my happiness tbh, it isn't very important to them. What they want for me is to be able to earn enough to have a decent pension fund without relying on my inheritance (because if you let every generation spend the family's wealth, there wouldn't be anything left at some point). Their premise is that a capitalist society is ultimately an unequal one, whether you are in USA/UK/Asia and the government primarily acts in the interests of the wealthy so if you don't have money, you are at a high risk of losing control over your life and being exploited. Inherited money can be easily lost so its better to invest in education as that cannot be taken away..

My kids struggled so I had to step in - and other parents were so negative about that if and when it came up.

Our own parents were working class and generally supportive all left school at 15 for work though DDad spent large part of his working life gaining additional qualifications - though primary schools DH and I went at time 1980s actively discouraged the supporting basics at primary as it would confuse us.

If the kids fly and the schools are good then it's much easier to step back and leave it to the school but often that advantage if forgotten and such parents IME negatively comment on other parents trying to level the field for their kids.

DS Y10 report missing 4 subjects because he doesn't have a teacher in those subject - succession of temps. He'd still doing well - but that him and us plugging gaps.

There are differing attitude to education across areas and there also difference in how good the schools and education actually is.

But there are students with families who don't value education - who may well be disruptive - my kids complain about it as do some of their teachers in p/t meetings education isn't seen as a way to a better life for many here.

Absolutely not what is being said! Many of the immigrant families are working class/very cash poor (many supporting family members at home still) yet are totally aspirational for their own children.
Class as in working class middle class etc doesn't come into it it's cultural differences to education!

Bloody Hell calm down
In some countries they say Public school where we say State. So that person presumably means that

Yeah, it’s weird. I know some parents who never teach their children at home or help with homework, then shrug when their children get low grades and say with some satisfaction that their children just aren’t academic.

I think there’s some reverse snobbery in it maybe? Or just laziness? I don’t get it at all. My parents generation worked much harder at school.

On the other hand parents from some countries where they’ve seen what poverty close up can be very focused on ensuring that their children are educated enough to get a high paid job.

On the other hand parents from some countries where they’ve seen what poverty close up can be very focused on ensuring that their children are educated enough to get a high paid job.

I'm from one of these countries. Education was a priority while growing up and its ingrained in me to raise my dc the same. Same with work ethic.

Public school = paid for by the state where I come from.