Grannys Funny Comments

[girlfriend44]

My granny (deceased now) used to hate women dressing in black and women who wore trousers?

What funny/strange comments did your granny used to make or still make?

My great gran hated jeans. I would never wear them around her and would always change clothes before seeing her as she made such a fuss.

Later when she had dementia I still wouldn't wear them just in case her memory came back and it pissed her off 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️

😅

To always make sure you have condiments if you go on a date.......

My Gran used to make us instant coffee with lots of milk and when it was ready sing out loudly
café o lay ee.
Shes been dead over 40 years and I can still hear it when I think of her.

How long you got? She hated anything techy at all, and insisted that she’d caught a virus from the microwave. She’d have had a field day with covid and the 5g conspiracy nonsense.

Heres Grans description of how computers work.

“First they go out and dig up some silicon from a mine, then put it in a machine, and suddenly the machine knows how many miles it is to the moon. If that’s not aliens I don’t know what is”

Gran on tvs

”what will you do when you’ve watched all the programmes they’ve put on there, it’ll cost a fortune to get someone out to put more on”

Gran on the moon landings

”there’s no way they got up there just by lighting a fire under the rocket, and how come it’s so cold on top of mountains if stuff burn up in the atmosphere”

Gran on air travel

”I don’t believe for a minute there’s enough parachutes for everyone on a plane so you won’t catch me on one.”

I don’t half miss her!

Lol, how funny!

My nana used to take her own silverware to places incase they only had plastic / not to her standards 😂

Yes my grandmother thought women in trousers were suspicious too. No idea why.

Men got fed first at her table. Bigger plates too. Apparently it was a WW2 thing — feed the fighting men first so that they have full stomachs if the air raid siren goes off. Quite why she was still prepping Grandad for the Blitz in 1997 I have no idea.

She also didn't believe there was such a thing as a lesbian — like Queen Victoria, she simply wouldn't accept it was possible — and thought that gay men should all be rounded up and sent to live on an island somewhere. Which was a bit shit for me growing up...

Not really funny, but my relatives found it hilarious- but I hate that my nan’s last words to me was to tell me on her deathbed to do more housework for my live in boyfriend and look after him more. She had heard me complain about him a lot and thought I had been giving him a hard time. She was a gorgeous sweet lady, not toxic at all, just of her generation.

He was a lazy fucker and left all of the admin and housework to me. ‘Couldn’t see it’ ‘oh just ask me if you need help’. Would agree to rotas and job splits then not do his share to the point of filth and grime. Made me feel like a complete nag and screaming fish wife in my early twenties.

I chucked him out within a year of her passing.

it still makes me cross if I think about it.

When I was pregnant my gran told me not to hang washing on the line as the cord would damage the baby 😳

My nana used to refer to other people similar age to her as old people, as though she wasn't like them? (Baring in mind she's 88 now so shewould have been early-mid 80s last time I heard her say this)
Like when talking about coach trip holidays for example, she didn't want to do it because she'd have to sit with "all them old people"

Ripped jeans and how they are the same price as 'normal' jeans when they've got holes in them! 😂

One excruciating day in about 1985 was watching telly with my Grandmother (1895-1989 may she rest in well deserved peace) and we witnessed a Lesbian Kiss.

Awful awkward silence.

Then she said "Lady, I've always wondered, I know what Men do if they go to bed together, but what do two women do in bed together? Or do they just go to sleep?".

Fellow vipers, I just couldn't do it. I guessed this meant she'd never had an orgasm; maybe 90 wasn't too old to learn but I wasn't going to be the one explaining it to her. I bottled it and said "I've always wondered myself". And it was never spoken of again.

My gran and my great aunt would have nothing to do with any shade of purple, lilac, mauve, lavender - a mourning colour. Deplored the use of the word ‘kid’ for child.

Were convinced plastic was poisonous- we weren’t allowed to put anything plastic near our mouths and had to wash our hands if we handled it (this was the 70s).

Noticed that I had forgotten to take the label off of the sole of my new shoes
"gosh quick you can't go out like that, they will think you are a woman of the night"
I was 9 and baffled

My dear old gran was a riot, God bless her.
She was infamous where I live for going to watch wrestling on a Saturday and standing at the front so she could batter the ‘dirty bugger’ with her handbag, real bashes over the head!
She was kicked out of the cinema back in the day for heckling the pianist/organist and lobbing fruit at him and I had the misfortune to be with her at the ballet ( her one and only visit) when she was asked to leave because of her raucous laughter at the male dancers in their tights and cod pieces… it was excruciating and she was in hysterics.
She lived to the age of 94 and was as sharp as a whip.
I still love and miss her.

That's really interesting and has nudged a long-forgotten memory about my other grandmother, who also viewed purple as a 'death' colour. She had a thing against lilies and chrysanthemums in flower arrangements too, apparently they were for funerals only.

Oh and peacock feathers. Dreadfully unlucky according to her.

I got pregnant before I was married - she thought I should wear a white trouser suit when I did…

‘Never get married - that’s when the rot sets in’ 😳 I’ve listened to her so far!

Mine used to write letters directly to the Prime Minister if she had a problem with something–say if her bins hadn't been collected. I'm not sure if he/she ever replied though!

My other granny was Italian and she never put vanilla extract into any of her baking as she thought "extract" in the recipe meant "extra", i.e., optional.

My Nan wouldn't let me stand anywhere near her newfangled microwave oven when it was on, in case I got zapped by the waves.

My grandma used to ask about boyfriends all the time. Not just "have you got a boyfriend?" but "how many boyfriends have you got?" !!

She always maintained she had many boys on the go when she was a teen. It wasn't that surprising when it turned out she had a secret child none of us knew about.

My nanny liked to walk us to the door when we were leaving but would usually pause down the hallway, cock her leg up and let out a massive fart. Then crack up laughing.

She also insisted on a kiss on the cheek when we came in. Once I was in a rush to go the loo and she had a right strop on because I prioritised my bladder over a kiss.

She has dementia and is in a care home now but occasionally the spark and cheeky comes out and it feels like a warm glow.

I'll add a proper reply when I'm home but had to post to say I read the title super quick and genuinely thought it said "Granny's fanny comments"

I was thinking wtf is this thread 🙈😂