Grannys Funny Comments

[girlfriend44]

My granny (deceased now) used to hate women dressing in black and women who wore trousers?

What funny/strange comments did your granny used to make or still make?

My Nana when I was pregnant with my first child in the late 70’s told me it had been on the news and I shouldn’t eat any kind of soft cheese till after I’d had the baby or I could end up with Hysteria.

My paternal nan (she'd be 120 if she were still alive today) was horrified that i washed my hair while on a period. I never found out the reason.

She was a lovely lady though. She died aged 93 and never, ever, right to the end, did a day go by where she didn't have her pearls on, her hair beautifully done (white as snow) and a bit of lippy. White gloves when she went out :)

My mum who is 84 now, rang up our MP the other day to say her bins hadn’t been collected. To be fair, they got it sorted for her too.

My granny used to worry that the clothes I was wearing weren’t warm enough.

That was never the chief objective.

Oh! And i did overhear her chatting with her friends once about the whereabouts of ''Aggy''. One friend, in hushed tones, said ''Oh, she's been taken bad. Her daughter called out the doctor last week and after he'd examined her he said that ...... <leans in and speaks even lower> .... all her blood had turned to MILK!''

😳

All the ladies went ''oooooooooooh!!!!''

My grandmother was born in 1896 - a real Victorian lady. She used to ask every boy I took home "do I know your poeople". I found this very embarrassing, but she still did it. She brought me up, after my mother died when I was 13. I wish I could have her back, she was so wise, and I adored her.

My nan was quite happy with her black and white TV and never saw the need to change over to colour. My uncle moved back home for a bit in the mid 80s and brought his colour TV with him.

Cue me, brother and parents popping over for a visit one weekend to find them in the living room watching the same programme on both TVs... which were next to each other 😁

Still makes me smile now and she passed away 20 years ago. She was also a big snooker fan and happy to watch it on the black & white TV. Oh and kept a bucket of 50p pieces under the sink for the gas meter. And the holy water holder by the front door with picture of Jesus above it (Irish Catholic). Couldn't leave the house without a dab of water 'for the journey home'.

Gran to sister: "have you lost weight?"
Sis: "yes!"
Gran: "Good. You needed to."

Gran to me (pregnant with DC2): do you know what you're having?
Me: No
Gran: You'll want a boy. Boys are better than girls. <throws a look at my DD>

Blunt is how we described my Gran...!

Helendee "My dear old gran was a riot, God bless her.
She was infamous where I live for going to watch wrestling on a Saturday and standing at the front so she could batter the ‘dirty bugger’ with her handbag, real bashes over the head!"

My maternal grandmother always watched the wrestling on the TV when we visited on a Saturday and I remember her frequently throwing her slippers at the TV and shouting "You dirty fighter!" It's weird to think that she was born in the reign of Queen Victoria (1895). I can't imagine what she would have made of computers and the internet.

My grandma had a brother who was gay. They all knew he was gay and it was accepted and just not commented on. He was a 'flamboyant' dresser, had very camp friends, frequented a well-known Newcastle gay bar with what was known as a 'chicken rack'- my mam described it as a place where older men waited to 'click' with younger men. None of this was ever mentioned. He was in the army- a chef, and then had a career as a chef. He went out drinking with his brothers and their friends and went off to meet his friends later.When I was little, he was in his late 50s and I remember he had a particular friend (o years standing apparently) who he brought home at weekends after they'd been out and they slept in his room. My grandma made them breakfast and his friend was always welcome- he was actually married and stayed married. He lived with my grandma and grandad until he died in his 60s.
Years later, my flatmate from uni came to stay with me and I took him to meet my grandma. She said afterwards 'Oh he's lovely. What a nice lad. Can you not marry him?'
I said he was gay, he liked other men and wasn't interested in women. Her response was 'Well he'll just be a bit lonely so will have palled up with his friends.' I said no, he had relationships with men, 'slept' with them. She was insistent that 'These men are just companions for each other until they meet a woman. Evelynn, Elspeth ( her sisters) and I always said that. They just like someone to go on holiday with and have a bit of company with.'
It made me wonder if they ever understood her brother.

'many years standing' not '0 years standing' 🙄

Ha my Nan used to say they made me look 'hard up' 😂.

And though she died when she was 93 she used to say she didn't want to do 'old people' things like @BanditBluey! I used to question who was older than her!

She also used to say she wasn't too fussed on any food that was 'too erotic'. I assumed she meant 'exotic' as she didn't like anything spicy but I couldn't correct her and have to explain 'erotic'!

I miss her so much

After a scan…’I was worried it was cancer but it wasn’t, it wasn’t in the shape of a crab’…🫤

My gran hated floppy fringes, used to go on and on about them and how girls with them couldn't see properly and looked a mess. Told me never to turn up at her house with one 😂

My Gran used to say never to trust a man in a brown suit. I’m not sure why and it’s not something you see very often but I always bear it mind when I do! 😂

My Nan hated red lipstick. She said only husseys wore red 🤦‍♀️

My grandma once commented on pasta that was cooked "to the bite" and said, "she likes it Alicante!"

She also called mulligatawny soup "multi-gato-wanny."

I remember how we laughed when
my Gran, who had been cooking perfectly well for many years suddenly realised that you didn’t grease pans and dishes as some sort of magic ingredient - “You do it to stop things sticking!”

Never trust a man with a fancy watch. No idea why, I can only imagine that once upon a time a man with a fancy watch did something terrible.

My wonderful and much missed Nan never ate green sweets in case they were poisonous. Quite happy to give them to the grandchildren though. I realised this about a decade after she died (I was in my 20s) and rang mum to say ‘hang on a sec!’.

Mine told us all about having delicious 'merin-gyew' with fruit on, at a meal out. It took a minute but we worked it out.

This was back in the early 80s. Meringue was perhaps more of a rarity then than now.

One Sunday when we were a.eating dinner my nana came out with "How do they get the corn on the cob?" 🤣🤣 I do miss her

And our family still like to call it merin-gyew in memory of nan 😃

Always wear clean knickers in case you get run over by a bus and always have an emergency £5 in your bra . Never go out before trying to spend a penny first .

@SpaceJamtart - the price on the sole of your shoe thing stems back to (probably an urban legend) that prostitutes used to write their 'fee' on the soles of their shoes so there was no need for the discussion about price.

We used to have to put my nana is the middle of the row at wrestling after she ran to the ring one time & battered 'Dirty Mick McManus' with her handbag.

If she was in a bad mood & I asked what was for tea I got either

Shit, shite & sugar or
Three jumps at the cupboard door and a bite of its knob