Grannys Funny Comments

[girlfriend44]

My granny (deceased now) used to hate women dressing in black and women who wore trousers?

What funny/strange comments did your granny used to make or still make?

I don’t either. But I didn’t want to say in case I was being daft.

I think it’s more about what granny considered were the working parts needed for sex. Two men would have them but two women wouldn’t.

I do remember however, when my brother told her he was gay. She said "obviously darling" and it was never mentioned again (by her).

Haaaa my grandad was a famous wrestler during that time who frequently got bashed over the head by old ladies handbags, perhaps it was your gran!

My Grandma, also a Victorian, used to say “ a whistling woman and a crowing hen is neither use to God nor men”.

A lifelong Londoner, she was fascinated by Coronation Street, “the North”, and I think she believed it was a documentary, at least in its early years.

They lived with us when I was a child and had their own rooms in the house, which we children would ceremoniously be invited into for a visit. These visits would culminate in a half crown being furtively pressed into our hands.
I think the point of it was that it had to hurt.
Long after I grew up and left home, I would still get a 50p coin pressed painfully into the palm at the end of a visit.

When she went out, which was rare, it was a big deal, never shopping or anything ordinary, but visiting friends and funerals, always driven in “the motor” by DF. She would wear a long black silk coat and a hat, very reminiscent of the Grandma in Giles. Only looking back on it do I realise how very house based she was. She was just always there.

The Edwardian in mine never left her. She went apoplectic that the Avon lady once turned up in an ankle bracelet because of the connotations in her younger years. She knew exactly who had been up to what during WWII in our village and would fill you in on A LOT of the goings on. She was very "prim and proper". I had a long time thought it was down to the era she was brought up in but her oldest brother (Victorian born) took great glee winding her up about her haughtiness and her accent (think strangled Mitford-esque RP) despite barely ever leaving Yorkshire.

There was a belief that women stretching up could wrap the cord round babies neck.

We know it's nonsense but women were told I'm not sure if by wives-tale or professionally not to stretch upwards and hang curtains etc.

My granny (been dead 40 years now) was really prudish. She reckoned that "only factory girls and pirates wear earrings"

My Mum who would be 92 now was a very ladylike woman. Always pearls and white gloves, never raised her voice or swore.

Till Saturday night and the wrestling was on. She woukd be telling Big Daddy what to do left right and centre.

You will never have rosy cheeks if you smoke.

My Grandma would walk into town every day and put a £1 bet on the horse racing then she’d go home to watch the race on the black and white tv. She also watched wrestling. She went to the pub every evening and had four half pints of bitter and two menthol cigarettes, then she walked home alone down alleyways in the dark and had a glass of whiskey. When she went into a care home she made friends with a woman called Dolly and they’d get drunk together….I don’t think Dolly was much of a drinker before this! She was great fun but a very neglectful mother to my mum and uncle.

My other grandma was less fun and used to say that the Indian/Pakistani immigrants in our town cooked on camp stoves in their entry ways. Not sure where she got that idea from. Once she said that she thought that girls were probably as clever as boys. She hated my mum because my dad lived with her until he was about 38.

Nan asked where I'd bought my new jesns from and I explained they were a style I'd like previously so I'd bought this pair second hand from eBay. Cue a horrified gasp and "Does that mean they've had someone else's bottom in them?" 🤣🤣

"My Nan thinks wearing trousers as a woman turns you gay.
Yet rocks around in her old lady trousers and jeans...."

Perhaps she was trying to tell you something.

DH’s Granny is 98 and complained last week that the lunch club is “full of old biddies”.

Ah thats so sweet of you

My Gran says that rice cakes are a danger to society. I'm not even joking.

Love the amount of wrestling watching nans!

I visited my grandma with my mum (her other daughter lived with her) on one of her birthdays, in her 90s. One of us must have said something not to her liking so she said "I'm not talking to you". We made the mistake of talking amongst ourselves, whereupon she banged her walking stick on the floor a number of times and announced "I'm still not talking to you!" - in other words, if grandma isn't talking nobody's talking!

Mine used to say "off with your head and on with a cabbage!"

Might even have been my dad also.

Can I sneak my grandpa in? He always said “don’t marry for money but try and love where there is a bit” and “have a good look round the orchard” (for a husband/wife).

My Nan was best friends with the (in a whisper) ‘Lesbians’ who moved in next door, she loved them & they were lovely neighbours, often inviting her in for a cup of tea & a chat - they were however a male couple…

Lovely thread

@coconuthead

Was this in Bristol?

not my Nan but I used to train care home managers and one of the ladies in one of the care homes used to tell me that she wore American knickers during the war - she would then start to giggle and say 'Yeah, one Yank and they were down'

I'm not sure, he was on prime time tv on Saturdays though so I think they filmed it all over?