Grannys Funny Comments

[girlfriend44]

My granny (deceased now) used to hate women dressing in black and women who wore trousers?

What funny/strange comments did your granny used to make or still make?

I never had a Grandma but my Grandad used to think we'd only ever explored space in one direction, as rockets only went up, so we'd never found out what was below us.
Also a wonderful old lady who used to come into my place of work said of her best friend, who was also a customer and a very heavy smoker, 'When Ethel was young, she didn't have periods she had falls of soot.' 😂

'Grandma what would you like to drink?'

'Something wet' 😁

My nana hated waste of any kind, so if, for example, a big fly or a wasp landed in your juice, you weren't allowed to pour it away. Just had to scoop out the intruder and keep drinking.

She always, always said "Ach, away you go, you'll drink worse before you die" and then in a much quieter voice (which we all still heard) she'd say "Probably JUST before, right enough!" 😂

We had a cat, who only wore her collar when she was allowed outside. My nana could never get the word 'collar', she always called it a 'strap'. If the cat ever escaped without her collar, nana would run after her shouting "come here madam, you've not got your strap on"! 😂

She was a gem. A quiet, gentle soul.

@CarrieMoonbeams

Yes and the insect would be welcomed as "bit of extra protein there"!

My Nana hated it when ladies didn’t wear tights, pantie girdles and petticoats. She detested the photo of Princess Diana with the sun shining through her skirt clearly showing she didn’t have a petticoat on

Absolutely! Other people just got a wee paper umbrella in their drink - we got a tasty buzzy bluebottle!

I sometimes wonder if they might be proved right about plastics and what they do to our health.

Strap lol.

Many, many years ago, my sister was moving in with her boyfriend. Grandmother was told that her granddaughter was going to be "living in sin". Grandmother pondered awhile, then asked "is that near Leeds?"

😅

She lived in a residential home in her latter years and referred to the other residents as "inmates".

My grandma thought that Zippy from Rainbow was called Purse! She actually thought he was a talking purse! I still howl about it now.

😂

Ladies don't drink pints.
There's no issue with them drinking two halves just as quickly though

Grandma one:

’The kind of woman who’d leave pegs on the line’

Grandma 2:

Genuinely thought the Irish currency was called the Cunt. Even during and after a holiday to Ireland.

She sounds epic! if a tad anti-social

Actually, she sounds EXACTLY like Nanny Ogg! (Terry Pratchett)

My rather proper grandma (not posh from birth, but Well Brought Up and knew What Was Right) would not ever let me enjoy a Lemonade Sparkle ice lolly from the village shop on our way back to her house. No no, it had to be wrapped by the newsagent in old newspapers and taken back to eat in the back garden or living room. It wasn't Proper to be seen eating in public.

She also used to slice Mars Bars into thin tranches with a kitchen knife. Best way to eat them, I reckon, otherwise too sickly all at once!

Lemonade Sparkle ice lollies! That just took me right back to childhood, I'd forgotten all about those!

Oh god, my paternal grandma was full of weird stuff like this!

Plum jam was "common".
You could only go into cafes that had tablecloths.
Jeans were "common".

My Nan hated piercings.
I'll always remember her words everytime she saw the studs in my ears - 'If you were meant to have holes in your ears, you'll have been born with them' .
She was a cantankerous cow 😁

Bit late to the party but am loving all the posts!
I'm mid sixties now so they are almost ALL familiar to me. My late Nan though.. when duvets first became popular in this country, they were called continental quilts. Not to my Nan.. they were 'international quilts'..
You didn't have an artex ceiling, you had a 'lurex ceiling'..
On her first flight abroad, she would't follow everyone else to one side of the plane because 'it might tip up'.
My favourite saying of hers was 'Don't you see some sights when you're out wi'out your gun?'
Oh & women weren't pregnant, they were 'like it'.. :-0

Mine had lists of colors that were not to be worn with each other--"Blue and green should never be seen" etc. Only it seemed like almost every color combination was vetoed.

Her malapropisms were brilliant. The time she repeatedly pronounced "gerbils" as "Goebbels" was my favorite.

International quilts lol.

Mine would talk about "profiterole vision" and "semi skilled milk".

And her solution to nappy rash was to "seal" the baby's bottom with egg white. Infant DS was not impressed by that one.

Wonder if I can slip my grandad in; he won a horse in a bet, my grandma woke in the morning one time to find a horse in the kitchen and my bloody god did he love that horse, he got asked to leave the cinema when he tried to pay for an extra ticket for the horse 😂

I miss that man.