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AIBU?

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Original poster

… to not expect to have to quarantine like a leper with covid now?

333 replies

wallpoppy · 12/07/2022 22:41

Neither my partner or I ever got covid as far as we know until now, I was a couple of hours away at a holiday house with friends and was feeling a little peaked so took a test and it’s positive. I told my partner, he was sympathetic and asked if I was ok to drive etc, which I was- drove home without stopping to infect anyone else and he wasn’t home when I arrived- when I looked at my phone I had a message from him saying everything is all set and to let him know when I’ve settled in so he can come back.

Basically he’s fully set up one of the guest bedrooms and is expecting me to properly quarantine with the door closed and to be completely separate from him and to not go anywhere else in the house other than the toilet/shower room on this floor. He’s moved my work desk and computer setup in here (it’s normally in the study downstairs that connects the kitchen and the dining room), made the bed up with fresh linens, stocked me up with snacks, and will be delivering meals. If I need to go outside to the garden “that’s fine” but I need to wear a mask until I’m outside let him know so he can avoid the back stairs and the room I’ll be walking through for 30 minutes after and then the same when I come back in

I’ve been home in my plush prison for a couple of hours now trying to figure out if I want to start a fight over this but- this is crazy, right? Both of us are fully vaxed, no health issues, slim, active, etc. and he has never expressed covid fear before, he stopped wearing masks when the critical mass died down, but suddenly all this? I did ask if this was the new normal if we had a cold or a stomach bug and he says “it’s different”.

We have a 19 yo daughter who lives at home when she’s not at uni but she’s travelling now- she did have covid a few months ago but was at uni so this is the first time it’s been “near” so to speak (we both work at home so it’s been pretty easy to avoid).

Honestly I don’t know how to say this without it sounding like a brag but we have a lot of rooms in this house. Enough that we could easily eat our meals and do our work and avoid getting too close without a huge amount of effort. I’m pretty comfortable in here and I’m almost curious to see how he handles serving all my meals on trays but on the other hand this feels insane and I might just to stay at a nice hotel for a week.

OP posts:
QuestionableMouse · 12/07/2022 23:57

I had no health issues, was vaxxed and I'm just starting to get over long Covid from an infection in September.

So no, I can't blame him for being careful.

QuestionableMouse · 13/07/2022 00:01

wallpoppy · 12/07/2022 23:00

To be clear I won’t just break out and force him to catch my covid, my options are either stay in my cell or go to a hotel if I want to flounce. I am just wondering if anyone else is still doing this level of quarantine in the absence of pre-existing conditions or fragile health or whatever. I honestly thought that was over with and am just surprised that he is on a different page.

It's not a cell and you're being a bit wet over the whole thing. You need to stop sulking over being in one room for a few days!

Live4weekend · 13/07/2022 00:04

I would still go and sleep in another room to be fair.

Unless it was the kids who brought it into the house. Then I wouldn't as I don't isolate from them when they have Covid.

We will probably do that with more illnesses now. I think Covid has changed attitudes.

I am not one who is particularly worried about Covid, but can't be bothered with the inconvenience of it all and would hate to pass it to people more vulnerable.

MattoMatto · 13/07/2022 00:06

I think he's being very controlling and OTT. He hasn't even asked you how you want to do it.

I agree and am surprised by how many think this is reasonable and proportionate. Unreasonable because the OP wasn’t even consulted - you don’t just tell an adult what they are going to do. If he’s concerned, he can take steps to remove himself from the risk (which the op should obviously respect) but dictating what she does isn’t on. Disproportionate because these sorts of measures make sense in a world where you have a decent chance of avoiding Covid - we aren’t in that world since lockdowns ended.

I reckon I’m above average as far as Covid caution goes, and I was one of the only people wearing a mask on a flight recently, but I didn’t confine myself to one room when I got Covid and or did my partner when he caught it a few months later.

ChipsRoastOrBoiled · 13/07/2022 00:08

Both me & my husband, in our 50s, are fully vaccinated and boosted, and we've been completely floored by Covid for a week now. I reckon your husband is doing right in trying to avoid it. Its not like catching a cold.

slashlover · 13/07/2022 00:12

I had it three weeks ago, a day or two of feeling rough and then was fine. My manager currently has it, has been off work for a week so far and is still really breathless.

Hannah8514 · 13/07/2022 00:18

It sounds like he was trying to be helpful by setting the room up for you. Not controlling at all, just cautious.

On the hotel point, you would be putting staff and other guests at risk as there would inevitably some interaction e.g. checking in. So I'm not really getting how you consider this a sensible option.

I'd just relax and enjoy being waited on for a few days tbh. It's not a big deal.

xxcatcatcatxx · 13/07/2022 00:21

OMG this is so wholesome 😭 bless him. Take care of yourself💕 xxx

TheSummerPalace · 13/07/2022 00:34

This is afaik, how people in care homes are still treated - and I mean young adults in their 20s, not the elderly! New guidance was issued the other day, to say that care home residents can go for a walk outdoors, to avoid deconditioning, while they have Covid. Care staff have to wear full PPE, while delivering personal care to residents with Covid.

DD was put through it in March, when she had Covid - and to her, it was like a cold! Physically she is strong as an ox - never gets flu or chest infections or ENT infections, apparently immune to the norovirus….

So OP, thousands of people in care homes are treated like that, and they get no say in it!

CatelynStark · 13/07/2022 00:45

LizzieSiddal · 12/07/2022 23:44

Hope you’re feeling better soon @CatelynStark Flowers

Thank you so much.

stayathomer · 13/07/2022 01:07

Everyone I know who’s had this strain has been knocked with it, either vomiting tons or feeling like they’ve zero energy or having trouble breathing so possibly before this version (and after the first few rounds as Covid battered me and I still have long Covid but it was before the vaccines) I’d have said your dh was being a bit ott but now I’d say the less people that get it the better

Biker47 · 13/07/2022 01:31

Yeah, I still went to work and everywhere else the week I had covid last month, it was basically barely even a cold.

tobee · 13/07/2022 01:39

My Dh is cev so we're different but I would have had a conversation about what we'd be doing. Fine if he wants to be separate but I'd have talked it over first.

RedCardigan · 13/07/2022 01:54

Sounds sensible, DH has had 14 days off work so far and both really ill with it. We had a hospital bag packed for him at one point. If you’ve got the room then do it.

RedCardigan · 13/07/2022 01:55

stayathomer · 13/07/2022 01:07

Everyone I know who’s had this strain has been knocked with it, either vomiting tons or feeling like they’ve zero energy or having trouble breathing so possibly before this version (and after the first few rounds as Covid battered me and I still have long Covid but it was before the vaccines) I’d have said your dh was being a bit ott but now I’d say the less people that get it the better

This. Trouble breathing and dropping oxygen levels

DangerouslyBored · 13/07/2022 01:58

Caught Covid from DH a month ago. I felt utterly dreadful, as did he. My asthma got to the point of uncontrollable, it was v scary. I’m pregnant too and we just don’t know the long term effects on unborn babies as yet.

We were quite blasé at first and I didn’t want to confine him to a room for 10 days as I love having him around and I felt pretty mean enforcing that on him, inevitability I caught it and really regretted our casual approach as my symptoms got worse. If he catches it again, he will be isolating!

SunshinePie · 13/07/2022 02:00

This is exactly why I’ve stopped testing when I feel ill! What’s the point? There are only negatives.

Mislou · 13/07/2022 02:24

Oh I’d enjoy this! Not having to deal with housework and home and getting my meals on a tray like room service . Fresh linens . Sounds like a holiday .

cottagegardenflower · 13/07/2022 02:32

So his wishes are irrelevant? Stop being so entitled

Edwardoo · 13/07/2022 03:37

Hello Lorraine :)
She's isolating too.
I think I would just get on and accept the quarantine.

xyzabchij · 13/07/2022 04:38

Sounds like a dream. Put in some meal requests and have a nap.

stuntbubbles · 13/07/2022 04:47

xyzabchij · 13/07/2022 04:38

Sounds like a dream. Put in some meal requests and have a nap.

My sentiments entirely!

Ask him to slip a menu with options under the door and you can tick what meals you want, like a nice hotel. Order yourself continental breakfast and a pot of coffee, get a little bell to ring when you fancy champagne or afternoon tea. Send him out for ice lollies and extravagant snacks.

In our house there’s no scope for isolating this way, there isn’t the room and the 3yo wouldn’t have it, but we would if we could if we caught it. Just because the government has decided Covid is no longer an issue doesn’t suddenly make it safe or easy.

Bobinov · 13/07/2022 04:54

You’ll probably be testing negative in four or five days. Just enjoy being brought your meals. And don’t go to a hotel and infect the staff there. Having just had it I wouldn’t risk giving it to anyone. It was pretty rough. Still not 100% three weeks on

BiasedBinding · 13/07/2022 04:57

“His body his choice.”

what a weird thing to say about this situation. His choice about his own body is to stay in the house or not, not to shut someone else away. Whether what he has done is necessary is another question - but it’s not “his body his choice” when it comes to whether he is allowed to tell his partner to stay in one room for however long he seems necessary

Haileystones · 13/07/2022 05:02

I thought this one was 'just a cold' - now I've got it, I'm on day six and I still don't have enough energy to stand for more than about 5-10 mins. I'm sleeping at least 50% of the daytime. Symptoms are headache, cough, temperature, nausea and diarrhoea but worst is the utter exhaustion. I'm bored and fed up but don't have the energy to do anything (and I'm usually constantly on the go) so basically no, your dh is not being OTT. I am isolating from my family, no way I'd wish this on them.