… to not expect to have to quarantine like a leper with covid now?

[wallpoppy]

Neither my partner or I ever got covid as far as we know until now, I was a couple of hours away at a holiday house with friends and was feeling a little peaked so took a test and it’s positive. I told my partner, he was sympathetic and asked if I was ok to drive etc, which I was- drove home without stopping to infect anyone else and he wasn’t home when I arrived- when I looked at my phone I had a message from him saying everything is all set and to let him know when I’ve settled in so he can come back.

Basically he’s fully set up one of the guest bedrooms and is expecting me to properly quarantine with the door closed and to be completely separate from him and to not go anywhere else in the house other than the toilet/shower room on this floor. He’s moved my work desk and computer setup in here (it’s normally in the study downstairs that connects the kitchen and the dining room), made the bed up with fresh linens, stocked me up with snacks, and will be delivering meals. If I need to go outside to the garden “that’s fine” but I need to wear a mask until I’m outside let him know so he can avoid the back stairs and the room I’ll be walking through for 30 minutes after and then the same when I come back in

I’ve been home in my plush prison for a couple of hours now trying to figure out if I want to start a fight over this but- this is crazy, right? Both of us are fully vaxed, no health issues, slim, active, etc. and he has never expressed covid fear before, he stopped wearing masks when the critical mass died down, but suddenly all this? I did ask if this was the new normal if we had a cold or a stomach bug and he says “it’s different”.

We have a 19 yo daughter who lives at home when she’s not at uni but she’s travelling now- she did have covid a few months ago but was at uni so this is the first time it’s been “near” so to speak (we both work at home so it’s been pretty easy to avoid).

Honestly I don’t know how to say this without it sounding like a brag but we have a lot of rooms in this house. Enough that we could easily eat our meals and do our work and avoid getting too close without a huge amount of effort. I’m pretty comfortable in here and I’m almost curious to see how he handles serving all my meals on trays but on the other hand this feels insane and I might just to stay at a nice hotel for a week.

Everyone we know who has a second home, sent the sick person off to that second home.

Everyone we know with massive houses haven’t quarantined in them, but they have kept themselves to the same few rooms until negative. No mask wearing to pass between rooms, but also not sharing a bathroom or being in the kitchen together etc.

We live in a flat with fewer bedrooms than people, and no second home. We always knew that once one of us caught it, we’d all catch it. And we did. It took a full month to blow through our family and home.

Neighbours in our building with the same floor plan did actually quarantine, splitting the master bed/bath off from the rest of the flat. I don’t know how they stayed sane!

If I had the space I’d be using it. I wouldn’t sit inside the same room all day, but I wouldn’t eat meals together either.

Unless he's vulnerable I wouldn't bother.
When our DS caught it we assumed all of us would and didn't quarantine. Nobody else caught it. Months later DD caught it and nobody else did. Finally, months later, DH caught it and nobody else did.
Conevrsely, I know a couple who separated within their house and still caught it.
So I'd take my chances.

DM’s nursing home hospital has gone into lockdown and asked inmates to stay in their rooms for three days until they get a handle on the outbreak and it’s source.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable of them but DM is furious. She, like yourself has most things to hand.

its just the way of the world at present and if it helps stop the viruses from spreading, it can only be a good thing.

(I’m actually cranky someone knowingly infected turned up on a job site where DH was working. I have enough issues going on with my respiratory system and ironically that persons wife was hospitalised that night).

just enjoy the rest while you can …

Well he doesn't want to catch and has done all the hard work to make sure you're comfortable - I'd say thank you and stick with it!

I imagine there will be an awful lot of elderly people with dementia dying of dehydration instead of covid over the next few days if they're confined to their rooms. Staff seem to have enough trouble keeping them properly hydrated when they're in full view and it's not boiling hot.

It's not a given that he'll catch it. My partner, his kids and my colleages all failed to catch covid from me when I had it a couple of weeks ago. Mind you, I hardly knew I had it.

Is he also not going out in public, wearing a mask in enclosed spaces, avoiding all other unnecessary contact? If not, he is being v unreasonable. You can keep your distance from each other in the house, not sleep in the same rooms or eat together, but you don't have to be locked away from him. If he's that worried, he should be the one in total isolation so nothing can reach him.

Don’t forget the risk of long covid. Ok so I wasn’t vaccinated and covid itself was fine but then got debilitating long covid. My mum had to fly in from Sweden to look after my kids for 6 month as I was bedridden. Here is a list of everything that happened to me after covid: paralysed down spine and legs, heart rate randomly shooting up, brain shutting breathing down/severe sleep apnea, lost ability to walk for a while, insane migraines, cluster headaches and tinnitus, painful electric shocks shooting from my brain down my spine which meant I couldn’t hold myself upright not even sitting, nervous system shaking/vibrating, seizures, symptoms of getting stroke, severe vertigo, severe vomiting, constant flu like symptoms and burning sensation throughout body, narcolepsy, fainting, blackouts, feeling drunk and confused, digestive issues, blurred visions, insomnia, hallucinations, phcycosis, suicidal and extreme nightmares always about death. I can’t count the number of times I had to go into A & E and call the ambulance. My body was shutting down and I felt like I was dying. Gp thinks my autonomic nervous system has been attacked by the virus. My symptoms were so bad I didn’t want to live anymore and I was prepared to end it and leave my husband and two kids 4 & 6 behind. Luckily the antidepressants helped me out if that. I’m slowly recovering and learning to be upright more but have to rest a lot throughout the day. I don’t know if I will ever fully recover. I’ve had one dose of vaccine now and will soon have my second. Biggest regret in my life was not getting vaccinated and taking the virus lightly. I’m only 42

I've got Covid at the moment (second time round after previous infection in December last year). I had a sore throat for a couple of days and only tested because I was going to a gathering. I'm just snotty and coughing now. I haven't isolated although I've tried to keep my distance from the kids - but not possible all the time because my husband has been out for work some of the time and I've had to look after them. My husband and I are still sleeping in the same room. No-one else has caught it yet (I tested positive 4 days ago), but of course they may. As the kids are in school every day and my husband and I are both out and about a lot, I'd rather we all got it at the same time rather than them getting it during the summer holidays, although despite my isolation failures that doesn't seem to be happening so far!

Maybe he just doesn't want to catch it?

made the bed up with fresh linens, stocked me up with snacks, and will be delivering meals.

fuck me. It sounds like heaven!
YANBU in that I wouldn't expect to isolate in my own home. YABU not to accept a constant stream of snacks and food and binge netflix. Get him to make you a drink and leave it in the garden for you so you can sunbathe etc. God I'd love it.

Sounds controlling and crazy to me.

I’ve just had it for the second time and didn’t isolate. DH and I shared a bed. He didn’t get it (we don’t think - he felt ‘off for one day). It’s been mild for me and nobody else in my house caught it. If they did they weren’t aware and probably served as a little antibody boost. I’m not sure hiding away from Covid is the right strategy anymore. Just like hiding babies and toddlers away from colds and viruses wouldn’t do them any good in the long term. I do get that long covid is a concern but what can we do? Covid is here the stay and will circulate every year.

We are all going to get Covid. Probably over and over again until we start getting some good immunity- which not many of us have yet hence the re infections.

Is he going to behave like this every year?

That sounds absolutely hideous. I'm sorry you have been through that 😥

You were very unlucky though. Statistically speaking, the chances of the OP's husband being absolutely fine and very high.

ARE very high

I also have been reading that fortunately the risk of long covid is much less with omicron than with the earlier strains.

Sadly, I don’t think any of us can dodge this permanently. It’s like saying you will try and dodge all the colds going around. Some you do, some you don’t.

Me and my boyfriend are isolating from each other. Last time he had covid it triggered an Autoimmune response and he's permanently lost the hearing in his right ear and he wasn't able to drive for 9 months as he lost his balance and depth perception. (He was 27).

Even If there wasn't a fear of that happening again (which I know is very unlikely). I wouldn't want him to catch it, i feel horrendous, breathless, fatigued, not being able to eat, headache etc. Why would I not do what he can to avoid him feeling this way?

I think there's a particularly nasty variant doing the rounds at the moment, everyone I know near me the last few weeks to catch it have been very poorly, definitely nothing like a cold.

Yabvvu

It doesn't matter whether you think he's overreacting or not. You should respect him enough to do it.

I think he's being smart, personally; I'd do the same.

DH has Covid. Tested Monday. He is living on the top floor- has his own bathroom, bedroom and he has a den up there anyway with a snooker table, desk, dart board, sofa, tv, fridge. So he's fine. His fridge is stocked. He has cleaning stuff. His washing will go in a bin bag and I'll put it in the machine.
Quite nice without him tbh. Peace and quiet when DC are in bed. He's not feeling great but not awful. Has a fan to keep him cool.
He is feeling sorry for hi self and wearing the dressing gown if doom but I can't see him and have been out today.

I agree with you and maybe I had underlying issues I wasn’t aware of

Not a chance would I allow another adult to dictate where I could and couldn't go within my one home for any reason.
If the DH is that concerned about it he can book himself into a hotel or and Airbnb for the duration. He does not have the right to dictate where the OP can and cannot be.
If someone tried to do this to me they would be out the door no questions.

I had covid last week and I tried isolating as my son has additional needs and wanted to spare him getting it. He was only in house 24 hours as he had been on holiday with carer and he developed symptoms.so you can take all precautions but doesn't mean it will prevent it spreading .

this doesn’t hurt you in any way. He is bringing you everything you need. You clearly still have internet access and presumably unlimited entertainment. In the meantime you have no housework and limited responsibilities.

we’ve never quarantined from household family members. I think it’s a bit bonkers personally.

Someone I know who caught Covid in the very early days of the pandemic isolated themselves like a leper, and rang a bell when they needed something! 🔔🔔🔔