… to not expect to have to quarantine like a leper with covid now?

[wallpoppy]

Neither my partner or I ever got covid as far as we know until now, I was a couple of hours away at a holiday house with friends and was feeling a little peaked so took a test and it’s positive. I told my partner, he was sympathetic and asked if I was ok to drive etc, which I was- drove home without stopping to infect anyone else and he wasn’t home when I arrived- when I looked at my phone I had a message from him saying everything is all set and to let him know when I’ve settled in so he can come back.

Basically he’s fully set up one of the guest bedrooms and is expecting me to properly quarantine with the door closed and to be completely separate from him and to not go anywhere else in the house other than the toilet/shower room on this floor. He’s moved my work desk and computer setup in here (it’s normally in the study downstairs that connects the kitchen and the dining room), made the bed up with fresh linens, stocked me up with snacks, and will be delivering meals. If I need to go outside to the garden “that’s fine” but I need to wear a mask until I’m outside let him know so he can avoid the back stairs and the room I’ll be walking through for 30 minutes after and then the same when I come back in

I’ve been home in my plush prison for a couple of hours now trying to figure out if I want to start a fight over this but- this is crazy, right? Both of us are fully vaxed, no health issues, slim, active, etc. and he has never expressed covid fear before, he stopped wearing masks when the critical mass died down, but suddenly all this? I did ask if this was the new normal if we had a cold or a stomach bug and he says “it’s different”.

We have a 19 yo daughter who lives at home when she’s not at uni but she’s travelling now- she did have covid a few months ago but was at uni so this is the first time it’s been “near” so to speak (we both work at home so it’s been pretty easy to avoid).

Honestly I don’t know how to say this without it sounding like a brag but we have a lot of rooms in this house. Enough that we could easily eat our meals and do our work and avoid getting too close without a huge amount of effort. I’m pretty comfortable in here and I’m almost curious to see how he handles serving all my meals on trays but on the other hand this feels insane and I might just to stay at a nice hotel for a week.

I’ve had Covid three times (am young, healthy, no risk factors) and the first two times it has taken me 12 weeks to fully get over it. It caused me debilitating fatigue and heart palpitations for those 12 weeks.

DH had it recently and we don’t have the space for him to isolate completely away from me and DC. I caught it again and am now once again having the fatigue and heart palpitations. I only had two weeks where I felt well after last time.

With the risk of long Covid etc I would fully be avoiding it as much as possible.

I don't understand why you would think it is reasonable to go to a hotel. I didn't isolate from my family when I got covid (impossible with our house layout and two young children) so I can see why that might feel a bit ott but have a chat with your husband. Going to a hotel though and exposing people there unreasonable

He should have discussed this with you before making a unilateral decision about how you were going to live.
It all sounds OTT to me.

I would be telling DH he could sleep elsewhere if he was that worried, I'd be having the bedroom! In our case we're just going to have to crack on if one of us gets it as we don't have a spare room.

We properly quarantined DH & DS1 when they got it, DS2 & I subsequently not. Appreciate we take extra care as I'm immunosuppressed but DH &14yo although both got it relatively mildly took ages to get over it and the slightest exertion knackered them for weeks - they are both fit and healthy otherwise.
My dad & his partner has just had covid fairly mildly and despite being a fit 70 & 60yo they both have had subsequent health complications that have required hospital treatment.
It's a sneaky illness and I intend to avoid it as much as I can.
We are all vaccinated although I'm the only one that's had 4 jabs

I had what turned out to be covid just before the first ever lockdown, 2 and a bit years later, I take 12 pills a day, still can't walk without a stick, still get breathless and suffer with extreme fatigue and my blood pressure is still through the roof despite 6 of those pills being taken to bring it down (max doses). Last year I collapsed and had to have cpr and was rushed to hospital, luckily quick thinking and trained cpr at my job saved me. My entire life has been put on hold. I lost my job as im not fit enough, can't do active fun things with my children like we used to and i have no idea if or when I'll be back to how i was before. Covid, I'm sure, can be mild and like a cold to some but to others it's devastating and unfortunately you can't tell which one you'll be until it's to late. If I had to quarantine at my home with meals brought to me and a work station set up for me for a few days to ensure my loved ones don't catch it then I definitely would. It's just not worth the risk that one of them could be affected like I have. I hope you test negative and feel better soon.

Locking yourself in a room for a bad cold is plain silly now.

Its not just a bad cold for some people! DD is in her 20s, fit and healthy. She got Covid in March 20; and only lost her sense of smell for 2 days. She said a cold is worse! She didn’t get the vaccinations, partly due to health anxiety and partly because she had already had it.

May 22 she got it again. This time, she said it was worse than a cold and flu combined. She was in bed for 3 weeks, and she wasn’t sure she was going to make it! Then she got a chest infection and had to get 2 lots of antibiotics. Then she got tonsillitis and was delirious. More antibiotics! She felt so ill, she called 111 and went to A & E - her boyfriend is a GP, before anybody thinks she is a hypochondriac. He would have told her, she needed to go, because of the fever she had.

In total, she was ill for 8 weeks; and is still exhausted! Had she given it to her boyfriend, the practice would have been down another GP; and they are constantly short staffed due to Covid!

Adult DS has it, and stayed in his room for 6 days, with meals and drinks left outside his bedroom door. He wore a mask going to and from the bathroom, but DH and I mainly used the en-suite.
He was poorly for a couple of days and then started working from home as his work let him log him from his laptop.
DH and I tested before we went anywhere. I cancelled my Pilates classes as I thought it was unfair to risk infecting anyone as the studio is quite enclosed and DS and I had been in the car together for 2-3 hours the day before he showed any symptoms.

You are behqving like a 2 year old! He might be worried about catching Covid because he might pass it onto elderly parents or relations or he might just not it himself. So get on with your 10 days and be thankful it is not 14!

I was so blasé when DH caught it and now he's back at work and I still feel awful. Honestly I think your DP is right and you should stay in your leper colony, I wish we'd done something similar 😅

What would you do if one of you had chicken pox or the like?

Surely people don't go around infecting their loved ones with diseases left right and centres? Particularly one that can have some long term impacts.

That's all very well if you have a spare room (in which case I think the healthy partner should move to it) but not everyone has the space to quarantine. Unless one of us moves out to the shed it's impossible to avoid each other. If one us is ill we just have to get on with it and accept the other one may or may not get it.

I've just read a post from someone on FB who has covid and her boyfriend has moved out into the camper van. She's thanking him for caring for her by making meals and checking in on her. She's saying how grateful she is to be able to rest and take some time out to give herself the best chance of recovering quickly.

I had it in January and DP wasn’t bothered and didn’t stay away from me at all. Amazingly, I am disabled and regarded as extremely clinically vulnerable and I wasn’t symptomatic at all.

DP didn’t catch it from me but he did get it two months later. He’s extremely fit and healthy and it floored him. We slept in separate beds but we did hang out watching TV in the same room, he just sat really far away on a different chair and we kept masks on. Did a lot of cleaning, he didn’t go in the kitchen and I didn’t catch it. Not sure I’d have done the masks if I wasn’t so vulnerable but definitely would have booted him to another bed as he was really snotty etc and I wouldn’t want him in the bed like that with a normal cold either!

Your DP is being controlling as fuck.

Perfectly reasonable for him to want to stay away from you in case of infection if that's his preference, but he doesn't get to decide that means you have to stay in a particular room. He has the right to make decisions about himself and where he goes, not you.

I’m just recovering from it, Dh has been with me all the time and he hasn’t caught it

Is this just a stealth brag about the size of your house?

He should go to a hotel himself or lock himself in a room for 7 days if he feels that strongly about it.

If you have the option to keep someone safe from getting ill, then why wouldn't you? Sounds like he's being very sensible and considerate. Crazy that some people are calling him controlling and that you can't understand why he'd try and avoid getting covid.

It's a non-stealth non-brag about the idiocy of her husband.

He could accomplish all this without expecting the OP to restrict herself to a single room. That isn't considerate. It's controlling though.

Meals prepared and left on a tray? I’d be claiming I had Covid for a very very long time

I know it is missing the point of the thread, but I would be quite happy having a week alone at home and in the garden with DP serving me meals on a tray. I would ask for a bell though so I can summon him for my next cup of tea and snack.

I agree.

My husband has got it now, he’s been in bed for two days. He’s doing his upmost to stay in one room and not infect me because I’m the only one left to look after the house, several pets and elderly parents.

Plus if he went off to a hotel and left her, what if she got worse and couldn’t fend for herself??

But the OP does have the room?

Obviously, if there isn't the room, we all make do with trying to avoid close contact, catching sneezes/coughs etc in tissues.

But ideally, you'd be apart from a sick person if you could manage it rather than risking them get sick, wouldn't you?