… to not expect to have to quarantine like a leper with covid now?

[wallpoppy]

Neither my partner or I ever got covid as far as we know until now, I was a couple of hours away at a holiday house with friends and was feeling a little peaked so took a test and it’s positive. I told my partner, he was sympathetic and asked if I was ok to drive etc, which I was- drove home without stopping to infect anyone else and he wasn’t home when I arrived- when I looked at my phone I had a message from him saying everything is all set and to let him know when I’ve settled in so he can come back.

Basically he’s fully set up one of the guest bedrooms and is expecting me to properly quarantine with the door closed and to be completely separate from him and to not go anywhere else in the house other than the toilet/shower room on this floor. He’s moved my work desk and computer setup in here (it’s normally in the study downstairs that connects the kitchen and the dining room), made the bed up with fresh linens, stocked me up with snacks, and will be delivering meals. If I need to go outside to the garden “that’s fine” but I need to wear a mask until I’m outside let him know so he can avoid the back stairs and the room I’ll be walking through for 30 minutes after and then the same when I come back in

I’ve been home in my plush prison for a couple of hours now trying to figure out if I want to start a fight over this but- this is crazy, right? Both of us are fully vaxed, no health issues, slim, active, etc. and he has never expressed covid fear before, he stopped wearing masks when the critical mass died down, but suddenly all this? I did ask if this was the new normal if we had a cold or a stomach bug and he says “it’s different”.

We have a 19 yo daughter who lives at home when she’s not at uni but she’s travelling now- she did have covid a few months ago but was at uni so this is the first time it’s been “near” so to speak (we both work at home so it’s been pretty easy to avoid).

Honestly I don’t know how to say this without it sounding like a brag but we have a lot of rooms in this house. Enough that we could easily eat our meals and do our work and avoid getting too close without a huge amount of effort. I’m pretty comfortable in here and I’m almost curious to see how he handles serving all my meals on trays but on the other hand this feels insane and I might just to stay at a nice hotel for a week.

He's made a huge effort, and happy to bring you your meals. Yes isolate - Covid can be really nasty - have you not been seeing the hospitalisation figures? Just because deaths or ICU intake isn't climbing doesn't mean its just a cold. You don't know who you could pass it on to. If you're well enough to work do so, and respect that your partner doesn't want to catch it. Some people end up sick for months and they really don't know why otherwise healthy people are getting long covid.

When I had it, my family didn't quarantine from me because I had felt rough for days and they had been in close contact so it seemed pointless (FYI, despite no quarantining and regular mixing, no one else caught it). BUT your partner seems to be really attentive and doing everything to keep you both safe and comfortable. Try to enjoy the rest.

I know I'm missing the point, but I had covid a few weeks ago and I would have flipping been delighted with a room of my own, food left outside the door, not having to talk to anyone for a few days. Instead I had the 2dc to look after, all 3 of us with 40C fevers and an utterly clueless DP.

You can't predict how bad some will be when they catch it - I had it much worse than my elderly parents for exampleand no one knows the long term consequences of a covid infection.

Id have been delighted.

I had covid, was very mild felt fine. Recovery was worse and now have long covid. I wouldn't expose my dh if I had the option not to. It's not 'just a cold' I'm fully vaccinated but hasn't stopped me having some horrible side effects. What's the problem with keeping yourself to yourself for a few days?

I was pretty blase about covid until I had it the second time and it was worse than the first. Now I'd try to avoid it to be honest, even if it meant serving meals on a tray for a few days.

You do need to isolate and it is understandable why he doesn't want to catch covid.

However, I cannot see why he didn't move into the spare room and leave the rest of the house to you. At least, he can go out and about, go to work, etc.

YABU if you want to go to a hotel and flounce. You'll put the staff at risk and you don't know how healthy they are or if they have enough money to take time off.

Covid is not just a cold and your partner is right to keep away. You are just being thoughtless.

We isolated when DH had it - as in slept in separate rooms but he was 'allowed out' - to watch TV in the lounge for example, I'd go elsewhere, or to sit in the garden.
I think there's a balance to be had

A lot of people have had it more than once. It doesn't mean they shouldn't try to avoid getting it again.

Someone I know is now on her third bout (May '20, and late '21) each has been worse than the previous for her.

I would imagine that if you had been sleeping together in the run up to one of you getting covid the other would get it too anyway. I'd ask DH to sleep in the spare room if either of us got it but otherwise carry on as normal at home.
I work in a team of over 30 people and only two of us have not had Covid now. Virtually everyone has been back at work after a week, when they have tested negative and some people have not even realised they had it until the routine test showed it up. For most people it is a relatively minor illness now.

Sounds like heaven.
I think you've done a Withnail and I and gone on holiday by mistake.

I don't know...

We were a bit blasé about Covid in our house, and we all caught it. DS first , then me, then DH

We have all been properly wiped out from it, first 3-4 days fever and aches. Then this crushing headache and loss of taste/smell, tiredness and now, 2 weeks in, coughing non stop. We are all normally very sporty people, healthy lifestyle and vaccinated.

A mild cold my arse

I feel like a right fool for not being more cautious

I haven’t read all the posts but DD and DH have just gotten over it. Ironically she was probably at the end of it before we realised she had it. She locked herself away like a hermit. I’m in the bed with DH since I have only been recently booster vaxxed and I had covid just over a couple of months ago so I’m not going through the faff of separate beds. The other two have had covid from school and childcare relatively recently DS had it twice in the last 6 months. I think DD was mad but she is old enough to make her own choice.

Most people aren't testing, pretty sure my husband has it at the moment, quite a few he works with have it or have just got over it. He has had it before and stayed off work when he was completely fine, in fact he taught live from home so carried on working. Even though he worked he was only paid sick pay which is peanuts. We can't afford the loss in earnings so he's at work, no idea if he has it or not. We need to treat this like any other illness now, if you are unwell stay at home if you are fine carry on. When my husband caught it last time we carried on as normal, I didn't actually catch it despite sharing a bed and being in the house wfh when he was there constantly. Locking yourself in a room for a bad cold is plain silly now.

Absolute no chance would I do this.

This is absolutely mental.

I had it in spring and we pretty much did what your DH has set up. Especially as I'd been away from for four days and started to feel ill in the car on the way back, so he hadn't been around me. Although to be fair, for a good few days, I could barely get to the loo, let alone wanting to be elsewhere in the house.

I'm under 40, fully vaxxed and boostered, no health conditions at all, and had to have a nurse out five days running to do my oxygen levels as the doctor wanted to send me to hospital and I didn't want to go.

It's been a few months now and I still can't walk up the stairs without wheezing. I wouldn't have wanted to take my chances passing it on to DH.

Everyone I know who has had Covid did the same level of quarantine as your DP has set up. Some still caught it but some didn't.
Your DP is being sensible. I'm baffled that you'd consider it appropriate to move into a hotel and risk even more people's health.

Out of everyone i know, its about a 50/50 split on whether couples isolate from each other like that or not.
I found the feeling like a leper bit much harder than the illness itself which was very very mild. 2 of my kids and my partner wanted to be away from me but one of my teens didnt want to isolate from me and while i dont blame people for not wanting to risk it, it was really meaningful and lovely that my teen kept me company. He did get it but had no symptoms.
I think you just have to suck it up. Its very boring but try not to be too unreasonable. Watch some box sets, read some books, shitpost on the internet. Itll pass x

I caught covid recently (right when the rules lifted), dispite being doubly vaccinated it wouldnt go away and after a month I was declared 'long covid', now 4 months on Im being subjected to a battery of tests because it looks like I have been left with lung damage and developed organ failure due to scaring (symptoms started same time as covid) which is now being linked through research to being and autoimmune reaction covid infection in many people.

I wouldnt want to give my husband or kid (my kid gave it to me but is luckily fine) something that could seriously damage of kill them, I would never forgive myself.

Just because people 'think' its over doesnt mean it is or that it can't do damage or that 'only the sick and elderly are at risk'.

just consider if you infected your daughter or DH and they didnt recover how would you feel?

I’ve just had it, and didn’t give it to Dh or DS as I quarantined in our room (with en suite) and stayed in there for 5 or so days, and came out only to get food / drinks with a ffp2 mask on and ate and drank in our room.

by Day 6 ish i came downstairs and either sat in kitchen with all doors open, when no one was in or sat in garden / ate there

tbh for first few days I felt like death so didn’t want to move anywhere anyway. Dh got covid last year and now has asthma and chest problems, so I was keen not to reinfect him

I do think moving to the spare room if you have one, and generally avoiding each other is probably a good idea if it's doable but I honestly would massively struggle with the barricading myself in a room thing. If he isn't happy with you wandering around the house then just go out for walks if you're well enough, it's fine, just stay away from other people.

Your dp wanting to wait half an hour to go down the stairs if you've let yourself in the garden is totally ridiculous. The chance of him catching covid by walking through a corridor 25 minutes after you did WITH WINDOWS OPEN AND A MASK ON, is just laughable and he is being totally unreasonable for suggesting that. I assume he's been to the shops/ on a train/ to the office/ to a restaurant in the last 2 and abit years? Then he's been directly exposed to covid before whether he knows it or not. Just lucky not to have been ill with it.

We never isolated from each other (4 of us) but then again we both caught it from one of the kids who are so young that us isolating from them was never an option. Once the dc had given it to DH, I had clearly already been exposed so it made no sense to stat separating at that point.

A few months later the other dc gave it to me, again it made no sense to separate myself from DH at that point.
Neither time did the other adult get it, despite sleeping in the same bed throughout.

I think he’s being perfectly reasonable tbh. Sounds thoughtful too.

This. I’m healthy and fully vaccinated but I wasn’t back to full speed at work for a good six weeks after. It’s not just about feeling crap, it’s all the disruption and inconvenience it creates.

My DP caught it a few weeks ago, he felt lousy for 2 or 3 days , we didnt quarantine. It actually never occurred to me we should. However he obviously had been carrying It for the few days previously and if I was going to catch it that was the time. He caught it at work from someone who tested positive, so we knew there was a fair chance he would catch it.
Amazingly up to right now I've not caught it. And I usually get everything. Someone breezes by me at work with a cold/sore throat/fever/chest infection and 2 days later I'm ill.
Waiting my turn to catch it and praying It'll just be a minor thing.