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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

… to not expect to have to quarantine like a leper with covid now?

333 replies

wallpoppy · 12/07/2022 22:41

Neither my partner or I ever got covid as far as we know until now, I was a couple of hours away at a holiday house with friends and was feeling a little peaked so took a test and it’s positive. I told my partner, he was sympathetic and asked if I was ok to drive etc, which I was- drove home without stopping to infect anyone else and he wasn’t home when I arrived- when I looked at my phone I had a message from him saying everything is all set and to let him know when I’ve settled in so he can come back.

Basically he’s fully set up one of the guest bedrooms and is expecting me to properly quarantine with the door closed and to be completely separate from him and to not go anywhere else in the house other than the toilet/shower room on this floor. He’s moved my work desk and computer setup in here (it’s normally in the study downstairs that connects the kitchen and the dining room), made the bed up with fresh linens, stocked me up with snacks, and will be delivering meals. If I need to go outside to the garden “that’s fine” but I need to wear a mask until I’m outside let him know so he can avoid the back stairs and the room I’ll be walking through for 30 minutes after and then the same when I come back in

I’ve been home in my plush prison for a couple of hours now trying to figure out if I want to start a fight over this but- this is crazy, right? Both of us are fully vaxed, no health issues, slim, active, etc. and he has never expressed covid fear before, he stopped wearing masks when the critical mass died down, but suddenly all this? I did ask if this was the new normal if we had a cold or a stomach bug and he says “it’s different”.

We have a 19 yo daughter who lives at home when she’s not at uni but she’s travelling now- she did have covid a few months ago but was at uni so this is the first time it’s been “near” so to speak (we both work at home so it’s been pretty easy to avoid).

Honestly I don’t know how to say this without it sounding like a brag but we have a lot of rooms in this house. Enough that we could easily eat our meals and do our work and avoid getting too close without a huge amount of effort. I’m pretty comfortable in here and I’m almost curious to see how he handles serving all my meals on trays but on the other hand this feels insane and I might just to stay at a nice hotel for a week.

OP posts:
LoisLane66 · 13/07/2022 12:45

If only all men were as attentive. Fresh bed -linen, meals on tap, what's not to like. Enjoy. 😁😂

NeedAHoliday2021 · 13/07/2022 12:56

If dh had norovirus we put home infection control measures in place so we’d do the same for covid.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 13/07/2022 13:02

Heartcare · 13/07/2022 12:38

But the OP does have the room?

Obviously, if there isn't the room, we all make do with trying to avoid close contact, catching sneezes/coughs etc in tissues.

But ideally, you'd be apart from a sick person if you could manage it rather than risking them get sick, wouldn't you?

Show quote history

I was making the point that no matter what illness it is we can't all isolate. I still manage to catch coughs and sneezes in tissues though.

Yes, if we had the room then yes, we would probably isolate but if I was ill I would expect DH to go to the spare room and vice versa if he was ill. No way would I be in the spare room when I wanted my own bed.

whynotwhatknot · 13/07/2022 13:03

hmm i think i gave covid to my dh or he gave it to me we just dont have the room to isolate and i wasnt going to banish anyone to the bedroom

luckylavender · 13/07/2022 13:10

wallpoppy · 12/07/2022 22:41

Neither my partner or I ever got covid as far as we know until now, I was a couple of hours away at a holiday house with friends and was feeling a little peaked so took a test and it’s positive. I told my partner, he was sympathetic and asked if I was ok to drive etc, which I was- drove home without stopping to infect anyone else and he wasn’t home when I arrived- when I looked at my phone I had a message from him saying everything is all set and to let him know when I’ve settled in so he can come back.

Basically he’s fully set up one of the guest bedrooms and is expecting me to properly quarantine with the door closed and to be completely separate from him and to not go anywhere else in the house other than the toilet/shower room on this floor. He’s moved my work desk and computer setup in here (it’s normally in the study downstairs that connects the kitchen and the dining room), made the bed up with fresh linens, stocked me up with snacks, and will be delivering meals. If I need to go outside to the garden “that’s fine” but I need to wear a mask until I’m outside let him know so he can avoid the back stairs and the room I’ll be walking through for 30 minutes after and then the same when I come back in

I’ve been home in my plush prison for a couple of hours now trying to figure out if I want to start a fight over this but- this is crazy, right? Both of us are fully vaxed, no health issues, slim, active, etc. and he has never expressed covid fear before, he stopped wearing masks when the critical mass died down, but suddenly all this? I did ask if this was the new normal if we had a cold or a stomach bug and he says “it’s different”.

We have a 19 yo daughter who lives at home when she’s not at uni but she’s travelling now- she did have covid a few months ago but was at uni so this is the first time it’s been “near” so to speak (we both work at home so it’s been pretty easy to avoid).

Honestly I don’t know how to say this without it sounding like a brag but we have a lot of rooms in this house. Enough that we could easily eat our meals and do our work and avoid getting too close without a huge amount of effort. I’m pretty comfortable in here and I’m almost curious to see how he handles serving all my meals on trays but on the other hand this feels insane and I might just to stay at a nice hotel for a week.

Not very impressed with the title of your thread but it's the same disease that's not going anywhere so why would anyone want to catch it.

GlitterSparkley · 13/07/2022 13:11

I have covid atm. I have done my best to not pass it to DH - have slept in a different room, windows and doors all open for ventilation, I have been wearing a mask when in the same room as him, have been very thorough with hand washing and hand sanitiser. But there is no way I am confining myself to a single room for a week (and DH agrees!)

TOADfan · 13/07/2022 13:12

Sounds mental to me. My husband had covid and we still slept in the same bed and even kissed. I never got it (I tested everyday for 16 days to be on the safe side)

Somethingneedstochange · 13/07/2022 13:14

YABU you might not be seriously ill with it but if your husband catches it and has no symptoms for days he could pass it on to someone while out who has a high risk family member.

As long as he's happy to keep you fed and watered what's the problem.

Please don't go to a hotel if you told them you had tested positive you wouldn't be allowed to stay.

twocatsandtwokids · 13/07/2022 13:16

This 😂 sounds dreamy to be honest!

twocatsandtwokids · 13/07/2022 13:16

Was supposed to quote someone saying they’d love to be waited on for a week!

GelatoQueen · 13/07/2022 13:19

IMO its better to get it at the same time. I had Covid in Jan but the LFT took 3 days before they pinged positive - I was actually feeling loads better by the time I got my positive. By which point I'd infected everyone else in the house. But it meant that we didn't have the nonsense some families had of 2 members having Covid then 2 months later the others getting in, making the impact so much worse

diamondpony80 · 13/07/2022 13:24

I wasn't worried about covid when DH got it recently and we don't have a spare room at the moment so I just slept in the same bed. I could easily have slept on the sofa or on a camp bed or air bed but it seemed like a lot of extra bother. Of course I got it almost immediately.

I only had symptoms for about a day and a half though and DH ended up being really sick with it for about a month. He could barely get out of bed for 2 weeks. And he's the fit and healthy one out of the two of us! You just don't know what to expect with how covid will hit, so I don't blame your DH for being a bit worried. I know mine will be extremely cautious in future as he was so sick with it. I don't think anyone can avoid it forever though.

Buythebag · 13/07/2022 13:36

Yes OP, your dh is insane. And so are you if you go along with it. Crazy!

MangyInseam · 13/07/2022 13:52

I think that it's a bit crazy. Covid is all over the place, we're all being exposed all the time. Some people get it from what seems like a minor contact, and then other people sleep in the bed every night with a positive person and never get it.

If your husband usually a rule follower OP?

I think I would be annoyed.

sjxoxo · 13/07/2022 14:06

I’m leaning towards your DH here.. why bother giving (or risking giving) it when you could be comfortable whilst getting better & keeping the risk minimal? I think he’s right to be a bit nervous.. my DH has just recovered from 10 days with covid and I stayed with my mum for most of it as I have a 6m old baby. I think if you can be comfortable then don’t take the risk. You don’t know 100% how he will be if he caught it, or who he or your daughter might give it to.. for some people it’s very serious. X

TimBoothseyes · 13/07/2022 14:23

TOADfan · 13/07/2022 13:12

Sounds mental to me. My husband had covid and we still slept in the same bed and even kissed. I never got it (I tested everyday for 16 days to be on the safe side)

Same here.

If he's that worried about catching it OP, he best not leave the house at all. He's just as likely to catch it from work as from you. The only place DP has been in the last 12 weeks is work. He still caught it and I remained negative despite not banishing him to a different room (couldn't anyway, this place isn't big enough).

Somethingneedstochange · 13/07/2022 14:32

You can get it more than once. The first time it can hammer your immune system. so your more at risk of getting it again Some who were previously fit and well now have long term health issues because of covid.

My sons college had a member of staff and student test positive. By the next day it was 7. Every student they had been in contact with had to return home. It's a special needs college so all staff are students are fully vaccinated and it still spread.

DuchessofAnkh77 · 13/07/2022 14:33

I've got it right now: 100% quarantine. Its like a bad dose of the flu and I'd rather not have it.

GreyandWavy · 13/07/2022 14:35

I've had the same treatment for the past week. I think it's fair enough. DPs meals have been bland as hell, though. But then I've just realised I have no sense of smell or taste, so glad I didn't complain. He's off to a conference so didn't want to pass it on to him.

Topseyt123 · 13/07/2022 14:37

saltinesandcoffeecups · 12/07/2022 23:54

This would be over the top in my house and I’d just laugh and laugh if my DH tried to quarantine me me in my own home.

Same here. So would I.

OP says they have a big enough house to be able to keep reasonably clear of each other so I would view this as seriously OTT. It would piss me off and I would demand my study back at the very least.

DH and I both caught Covid at around the same time back in April. We didn't even try to isolate from each other at home. There didn't seem much point as we both had it anyway. Nor would isolating really be possible in our house.

Livpool · 13/07/2022 14:38

I think he is sensible.

I had it last month and slept in my DS' room and him in with DH.

You aren't exactly being sent to the bell tower

Topseyt123 · 13/07/2022 14:42

wallpoppy · 12/07/2022 23:00

To be clear I won’t just break out and force him to catch my covid, my options are either stay in my cell or go to a hotel if I want to flounce. I am just wondering if anyone else is still doing this level of quarantine in the absence of pre-existing conditions or fragile health or whatever. I honestly thought that was over with and am just surprised that he is on a different page.

Only in places like MN are some people still doing this ridiculous level of quarantining.

Crystalvas · 13/07/2022 14:49

Hes doing all the right things. Weather you both have your vaccines or not, you guys can still get covid. Only thing is your likely to survive now unlike pre vaccine. Just roll with it appreciate the cooked meals. Your quarentine won’t be for long.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 13/07/2022 14:51

Covid is horrible
I hope you don’t have it bad
but there is no reason why he won’t get it really badly
so I’d rest and respect his wishes on this one

Maytodecember · 13/07/2022 14:56

I’d let him crack on. Get yourself a bell and ring it loudly and frequently.