To expect DH to help out with dog?

[Sweaty84]

My friends are a bit cheeky. Often asking for favours.

They've asked me, DH (we've got 2 young DC) to look after their dog for 2 weeks. We all love their dog, especially our DC. She's pretty hyper but v sweet and we have looked after her for weekends a few times

DH is grumpy because it says it stops us being free to do spontaneous things with DC.

But it's us or kennels.

I want to take the dog and think it will be fun. DH says fine but he won't do anything for dog, no walks, no poos, nothing.

I said fine we won't have the dog but DH then felt guilty. We are at a stalemate.

AIBU to expect him to help a little bit and not be so grumpy?

BTW he is off work for most of those 2 weeks and I'll be working from home.

I’d not go bringing DH into it tbh.
Just stating you’re unavoidable during the day should be enough.

You have agreed to look after a dog for two weeks but you’ll be at work and DH at home?!

Why didn’t you have a conversation about this before agreeing?!

You can't manage to read the OP posts properly?! Why didn't you read them properly?!

For goodness sake. At least read what the OP has said.

The OP HAS NOT agreed to have the dog.

If you want the dog and you have a nanny then bloody look after it. You won’t need his help! Walk him with the kids after you finish work, leave the door to the garden open otherwise and it is just putting some food in a bowl for him once a day. You’re both being bloody dramatic. One person working, one on holiday and a nanny to look after your kids. You don’t know you’re born

@howshouldibehave I haven't agreed to have the dog. So phew. But thanks for your input.

And @Musti I don't know what not knowing I'm born means...but im not sure I'm being dramatic really.

I've put a question on the Internet, listened to responses, and have taken it all on board.

The dog will be spending 2 weeks in kennels.

@HikingforScenery I don't know what being unavoidable all day means either

A lot of the posts here are genuinely confusing. It's almost like people want to spout some random shit after reading the first three words of the original post and aren't really concerned as to whether it has anything to do with the actual reality of the situation

A lot of the posts here are genuinely confusing. It's almost like people want to spout some random shit after reading the first three words of the original post and aren't really concerned as to whether it has anything to do with the actual reality of the situation

Its mumsnet. It’s mostly people spouting shit. 🤣

MN in a nutshell.

It's annoying when you want to do something nice for someone and your partner ruins it by being grumpy. I have a friend who's partner complains none stop that she spends too much time helping other people and when the whole family got COVID they were inundated with takeaways and nice parcels that her friends had brought. He was really surprised and wondered why her friends were helping! He's a fuckin idiot.

As long as you are realistic about the expectations of having a dog I think it would be a nice thing. It makes walks way better and the kids would love it. So many cafes and pubs allow dogs nowadays. You might have a great time. And if he's being grumpy and not helping then he's not allowed cuddles from the dog either. Like you said it's way better than hosting in laws and no they aren't fucking cute.

If I was you I'd do it. Don't listen to these Mumsnetters, maybe they don't like dogs. And don't listen to your husband either! By the way there is a website called trustedhousitters.com where your friends might be able to find someone to look after their house and dog for free if they want to look.

@Ottersmith don't listen to her husband? The person she shares her home and life with? His feelings or opinions on it don't matter? Wtaf?

@AryaStarkWolf Ok then instead when he says he has family visiting she can say ' Ok but I'm going to be a right twat about it and not help at all the whole time.' seem fair?

Who in their right might would equate visiting family with a friend's dog?! I'm dog mad, but I'm not THAT dog mad.....

You haven't met his family @ToadiesCouzin 😂

@Ottersmith Thank you! Exactly. DH has a real attitude of "don't make your problem my problem" and he doesn't have very many close friends as he just doesn't got out of his way to help others. He just doesn't understand why he would do something that doesn't directly benefit him.

"And don't listen to your husband either!"

The husband who's said they can mind the dog if the op wants as long as she's taking responsibility for it?

Yabvu and absolutely mad to take on such a responsibility. I would feel the same as your dh. You want to do this so do absolutely every single thing for it. And you are the one guilting him into it not the other way around!

@ToadiesCouzin Yeah you're right, I wouldn't equate it. Looking after a dog is a treat whereas hosting in laws is a massive ball ache.

@Mally100 How am I guilting him? He said he wouldn't lift a finger. I thought that was a bit mean given that he's on holiday, the DC are in childcare, we have a big garden, he never plans any trips anywhere, and he loves dogs. I put the question on MN. You all told me I was being unreasonable. I have since agreed we will not have the dog.

Bloody hell.

And I was prepared to absolutely take responsibility but when he said "I will not pick up it's shit or feed it or do anything to help at all" I knew he would be so grumpy every time it barked or jumped up that I thought best just to leave it to not rock the boat at home too much. And also because you lot have made me feel ridiculous for even asking the bloody question

I have a dog, and absolutely love her, I think she's one of the best things in this world. But she is ALOT of work.

You obviously can't see it. The cheek of you to just assume because he's at home, and on leave that he is available. It doesn't matter that you didn't agree to it in the end, your intention was there. And if the dog craps or needs to be let in an out its him who has to end up doing it because you would be at work! You should never make such demands on someone else's time. And no, comparing family visiting to a dog is just ridiculous.

It's not mean though. You can't force someone to want to look after a dog. You still don't seem to get it tbh.

@Hotinnit I'm not forcing anyone to do anything. I never said yes. I have now said no.

Honestly my DH would never be forced into doing anything he didn't want to do. Ever. He is looking forward to 6 weeks of playing video games while I go to work to pay for a nanny to look after DC. Don't worry about my darling hubby. He'll be absolutely fine. He won't lift a finger for person or animal alike all bloody summer.

I'm done.

I see you've said to your friends that you cannot take the dog.

For what it's worth him making his position clear in advance was likely a good thing. Had he waited until the dog was with you, you would have been taken by surprise and frankly he would have been out of order.

Could the fact that you say your friends often ask for favours is a motivating factor? Either way, I see one of your recent posts explains he doesn't do anything that doesn't benefit him so I suspect there is more at play here.

He won't lift a finger for person or animal alike all bloody summer. if he's not going to do any housework etc then you've got bigger issues than looking after someone else's dog