To think a 10 year old should know and understand they have to do basic hygiene tasks.

[Sofedupofitall]

She just won’t. She hates showering, hates washing and brushing her hair, hates brushing her teeth. She won’t even go for a wee before bed or in the morning when she wakes up. It’s ridiculous!

I’ve told her she will have urine infections, no teeth left by 20, hair will need chopping off etc etc. She just doesn’t care. I’ve given up tonight as I’m done in. She’s been vile all day. Arguing and shouting at me. Even started hitting my arm because she was bloody bored.

m No need for suggestions. I don’t think there is any. I can’t force a 10 year old into the shower and I can’t make her see reason either. Just need to vent.

And you know that how, @PortMac?

Because the OP said. WTF? What is wrong with people on here?

it is to mointor her bladder output, deem it wrong and attempt to make her piss on schedual though.

'it is to mointor her bladder output, deem it wrong and attempt to make her piss on schedual though.'

'Monitor her bladder output'

We, as parents have to make sure our kids are clean and go to the toilet as necessary. That is usually at bedtime to ensure a good nights sleep. Tedious yes and you'd certainly hope by 10 they'd do it without prompting but as that isn't the case here then the dc clearly needs pushing. That isn't helicoptering.

🤣 when she’s brushing her teeth I ask her to go to the loo after. She often says she doesn’t need to. I think most people at least try to go before bed. Most people probably go when they wake up too. I don’t like the idea of her first wee of the day being at school break or something similar. I don’t want her bladder holding on to it for so long as I’m sure that’s the way to an infection! I don’t monitor how frequently she goes during the day!

Would set days for showering work? Work out the days together so she has control over it.

My DS has set days he will shower on. It's a work in progress to slowly increase those days

Is she a visual learner? A schedule might help.

Or, if you have Alexa DD can programme her to remind her so it's not you "nagging".... and again DD has taken "control" of that situation

I remind my 3 year old to pee before leaving the house etc... because he is developmentally delayed and still toilet training and has accidents.

I do NOT demand my teenage pisses when I think is appropriate, In fact the only time I have any comment on his bathroom schedual is when hes hogging it and I need to use it and honestly the thought to micromanage my grown childs bladder never once crossed my mind.

I never pissed before bed or in the morning until after I had had 3 kids and my bladder muscles where fucked and my mam never forced me or even asked about it because its not normal.

If OP cant hold her bladder through the night then she has a medical problem resulting in a weak bladder its not her perfectly normal pre-teen daughter thats wrong here.

🤣🤣 I remind her to try and go before bed and in the morning as otherwise she won’t and she will hold it for hours. I don’t think that’s good for her at all. So I do.

i, also don’t micromanage my teenagers urine habits. Because my teenager knows to go in the morning and before bed and whenever else necessary. My 10 year old doesn’t. 🤣🤣

I find some of the comments on here really sad, although I hope some of the constructive ones were useful, OP. Being forceful and authoritarian with an anxious, demand avoidant child is a recipe for disaster.

Anyway, if anyone is reading this and wants some helpful strategies and no judgement, some books I found useful were 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, The Explosive Child, and Smart But Scattered.

Sorry, OP, that this thread has taken the direction it has. Ultimately you know your child and whether you think the personal hygiene issue indicates neuro-divergence. Either way, I hope you find a way to negotiate a way around it without some of the sanctions suggested. 10 is still so young.

My 10 year old DD is exactly the same!