Grandparents cancelling babysitting

[Cara671244]

So me and dh were invited to a wedding back in February... wedding is in October. I asked my parents months ago if they would have dd for the wedding. They said yes. It's the whole day and night. So we returned the rsvp saying we would be attending.

Now my parents are after being invited to the evening part. They now want to go. My dd makes very strange with people and my parents are the only ones who have ever minded her.

I think it's unfair they want to cancel now but also realise they aren't obliged to mind dd either so who is being unreasonable here

@Fivefor
I think you might have posted nonsense there, not me?!!
The parents were invited to the afters of the wedding. It's really quite simple and normal in Ireland

@Cara671244 You really need to be brutally honest with your parents. Tell them the bride-to-be told you she only invited your parents to the evening part to be polite (nice), because of her friendship with you. And she said that if she had known that inviting them would keep you and your DH from attending the entire celebration she never would have invited them!
So if they are there and you cannot be because of that, they may not feel welcomed by the bride but rather resented. Because it is not them that she wishes to be part of her wedding day/night.
She also said she wished there was a way to uninvite them.
Even if you have made other arrangements for dd, your parents should know this information. That they ONLY received their invite because of you. And it was never meant to interfere with your friend's hope to have you celebrate her wedding with her.

It's not stopping them, they could swap half way, they could hire another sitter - there's plenty of time, or even take the kids with them. If they're prepared to be that rude to their parents over it, they would have some cheek to still expect them to sit the children.

Read it again

I said the OP's posts, not the thread. Easy and quick to do.

How? Without having to scroll for pages. Android users can't filter.

I'm on android, using chrome. Click 'see all' as in this helpful photo

I've just looked on a few threads. I don't have that.
But then OP post rarely works.

It should be on every op. I use it constantly and it's never not worked.

Never had this and flagged it to MN. They said it's just not possible. And other posters have the same.

they’ve had their youth

You gotta love the unashamed ageism on Mumsnet

I have this. It always works and I can see all the OP's posts in one go if I click on 'See All'

@Cara671244 how did the wedding go?

We had a fantastic day... my friend who was ment to have dd tested positive for covid 3 days before the wedding so I thought we couldn't go... DH mother stepped up and offered to mind dd (which absolutely stunned us). She had a great day/night with her nanny and so did we at the wedding. Everything worked out in the end x

....yes and they looked after their kids and brought them up. Im a granny and I do a lot of grandparenting....which is fantastic and my choice. However...when I had three kids under 3 my parents lived 100 miles away and were still full time working and my in laws lived 3 hours away, had brought up their own 6 kids without help of grandparents...and didnt want to go through childcare again. To suggest grandparents have had their youth so should basically kiss off their remaining time just to provide free childcare for their kids who knowingly had children.... and I assume expected to have to look after them...is insane. Looking forward to your take on this when you are a grandparent!

I remember being really cross about your parents' change of heart at the time. I still think they were selfish, but it's lovely to hear you had a great time after all. Thanks for the update!

Any reason why you didn’t ask dh mum in the beginning @Cara671244

cba to scroll through

I did reply at the time

glad all worked out

Pleased it all went well. Agree with @LifeIsJustOneBigWTAF though that your parents were being selfish. But hopefully this means your MIL will be open to offering to look after your DD a little more in the future.