Grandparents cancelling babysitting

[Cara671244]

So me and dh were invited to a wedding back in February... wedding is in October. I asked my parents months ago if they would have dd for the wedding. They said yes. It's the whole day and night. So we returned the rsvp saying we would be attending.

Now my parents are after being invited to the evening part. They now want to go. My dd makes very strange with people and my parents are the only ones who have ever minded her.

I think it's unfair they want to cancel now but also realise they aren't obliged to mind dd either so who is being unreasonable here

It's what they are though.

Can’t you take her to the evening do? Some kids love dancing and parties!

People can read the OPs posts though.

PS on the rtft , its 13 pages. people have lives.

Either just read the OP's posts or - and I know this might feel like a real stretch for some people - just say nothing if you're not going to read the thread and so all you're going to contribute is the 100th reiteration of the same suggestion that OP has already explained isn't possible.

I would be cross. Your parents agreed to babysit so you could go to the wedding of a friend. Now they get an invite, they back out of babysitting. I would feel a bit differently about it if they discussed it with you rather than just backing out. I couldn't imagine doing that to my daughter.

But now you know where you stand with them and I'd back off from relying on them for childcare.

Great news about your friend stepping up. I'm sure your DD will be fine, especially if she's worn out and honestly if she is a bit teary, it's not the end of the world for one night. Definitely do some things with your friend and DD so she's used to them.

Wow, why so aggressive? I wasn’t being rude, I literally didn’t know what it meant, so asked… As many PPs have pointed out, “after being invited” means something completely different for many. I’ve never heard of the other (Irish) meaning so what would intelligence have to do with it?

It would be lovely. Are you offering to pay for the babysitter (and repeated previous trial/settling sessions) that would be needed to make this happen? Because otherwise I don't see the point of saying lovely things the OP can't do.

Child - free wedding.
I would be seeing the relationship with my dps in a whole new light op.

Tell your parents what you’ve just said here. They’re probably my sort of age. Will have been to so many weddings. Hopefully they’ll be happy to skip this one once they know your situation. I’m always happy not to go to weddings these days! They go on too long! They may feel the same 😍

Is it a child free wedding?
Just say sorry as you've now invited my parents to the night do we can't come so can the little one come

Or go to the day and then let your parents go to the night

Sounds like they are more your friends rather than theirs so they bound respect that you got invited to the whole day and they only got invited to the evening, they should let you guys have a night off and enjoy yourselves IMO

Meant to say “should” respect

It is a child - free wedding...
Imo getting a proper babysitter in future even if not for this event takes the power your dps are lording over you away..

Sorry- clicked on it in a spare moment. Won’t bother you all again 🙄

I would either start get DD used to someone else that could do it, regular meet ups with said person until the date so she gets used to them OR you do the morning of wedding and parents do the evening.

i u set stand is disappointing but like you said they aren’t obliged to have her nor should be

Could a friend stay at your home?

Your parents must be desperate for craic if they’d fuck up your long standing plans for a courtesy evening invite.

If I was the bride and I heard about this I’d be contacting OP’s parents to say something like
”I realise I’ve put you all in a tricky spot with babysitting arrangements by inviting you to the evening do. I understand you’ve made a prior commitment to OP, so no offence taken if you can’t attend.”

I liked my school mates’ parents well enough, but it’s not them I wanted at my wedding!

Yes, it seems a shame that it’s your friend that is getting married not really your parents friend.

Could you invite you friend’s children over for a sleepover at yours so that your daughter knows them better and knows how it feels to have them there. Like a trail run.
I used to give my DDs my empty make-up bag to look after for the evening to go to bed with so they were sure I would come home.

Did I read that your DH's parents have nothing at all to do with their grandchild? So you are essentially dumping all what you consider to be grandparenting roles onto your parents. Could it be that they are possibly just feeling a tad bit fed up with that and feel they are being put upon?

It definitely sucks that they have pulled back from babysitting on this occasion, but the ultimate responsibility lies with you and DH. Perhaps you should begin looking for other babysitters for your daughter to start getting used to, and not rely on your parents all the time. It's an unfair, uneven arrangement which puts them under a huge obligation and to be fair to them, one you shouldn't expect them to shoulder all the time.

Go to The Travel lodge site, you can book a room on the premise you pay on arrival. free to cancel.
The save a pound a day, most rooms are less than £70 around that time, this way you can go, you can sell things on Facebook, or do a car boot sale to raise the funds, baby clothes go well. you CAN do this OP.

Tell your parents that the bride said she wouldn't have invited them If she knew it meant you couldn't stay. If they still go then, they really are dicks! Sorry.

@Cara671244 I guessed that you were Irish straight off 😂💚 I’m in Achill if that’s anywhere near you. My DD 2 is called Cara 😊

Read. The. Thread

Or at least read OP's posts. If you (and most of the people who've posted their 'ideas' today) bothered to click on 'see all' at the bottom of the OP, you'd avoid making yourself look stupid.