Will I be able to return to U.K. life

[Blippimakesyouhyper]

Have lived abroad for many years, travelled lots etc. We’re due to return to live in the U.K. after Christmas. Mainly due to wanting dc, 3 to be closer to grandparents and have British schooling.
The lifestyles are worlds apart, between both places, both places have their negatives & positives.
I just really thought about it the other day when we were attending a friends birthday party, nearly all dads were there too aswell as mums…it was a random Tuesday in the middle of the day. It was hot and sunny, cocktails, playing in the pool etc.
When we go back, we don’t have the same job flexibility as many do here and I can’t see Dh being off in the middle of the day and attending parties and so on.
Beginning to worry I’ll feel trapped and hemmed in

Dont come back to live ?
Just make lots of visits

@cestlavielife I’m starting to become aware of my parents getting older now and how much time I’ve missed, makes me feel 😞

I live and raised my kids somewhere other than the UK where I grew up. I couldn't imagine moving back there because I am so used to where I live now. It's my home, it's what I understand. I love going back to the UK to visit, but it would be very strange to live there, and to raise my kids there.

Just think very carefully before you make a final decision.

@Anonymous48 Are you far away? The lifestyles so different in so many places to the U.K…I don’t know if I’d love it or curl up and become depressed. We have a very outdoors life by the beach and nature etc

I also feel like a different person and don’t know how I’d adapt…I find a lot of friends in the U.K. quite materialistic and it’s all about doing up your house or talking about work. I’m fairly ambitious but less so over the years, my ambition is for extra time and freedom and happiness, not the biggest tv etc (realise everyone isn’t like this!) it’s just something I’ve noticed

Curious to know where you are? I lived abroad for 7 years and planned our move back to UK for 2 years. It was solely for the purpose of wanting kids to finish their education in UK. We spotted back here nicely and have a good life, although different to the one we had abroad .

I'm in Florida, so possibly a similar lifestyle to you.

@chopc Another European country, did you miss it at all? Do you ever long to be back there?

@Anonymous48 Very similar, but you’re further away, I can see why you don’t want to go back!

Re. Education.
Of course that is important. I don't know where you are, but if you don't think your child could get a good education there that should definitely be a big factor. Are there any international schools if you don't think the local system is adequate? For me that wasn't an issue. I think the US school system is better than the UK's in many ways.

So for you it would probably be easier than it's been for me to take regular trips back to the UK.

Is your husband from the UK too?

I moved back 13 years ago. Bitterly regret it. Dont do it!

haha, I grew up in a culture which compared to UK is more materialistic, more workaholic ... but friendlier. Anyway, every place has it's own merits. UK too.

Did you mean southern England? Coz Norn / Scotland / oop North / Wales can be quite different.

I couldn’t live in the UK again. I enjoy visiting but I just find my old friends just seem so wrapped up in other people’s lives. Obsessed with celebrities, tv, shopping, cleaning their houses and work. I can’t comprehend it but I suppose I used to be like them. My children did some schooling in the UK and some here, they’ve thrived here where school is more relaxed and flexible…and you’re actually allowed and sometimes even encouraged to take family holidays in term times. I’m also finding out a lot of my children’s lovely old school friends have mental health issues, which is very sad. I’m not sure if this is from not being outside much or the high pressure school system, it’s seems pandemic. It’s worlds apart. I love England but I couldn’t live there again.

I live in the UK but am originally from a country that is long-haul flights away. I’ve been here over 20 years and the thought of returning to my ‘home’ always comes back to an absolute ‘no.’ Here is home now.

I was doing some reading a few years ago about what it’s like to return to your birth country after being away for years and it is sometimes called ‘reverse culture shock.’ Look it up, think long and hard about returning to the UK. You have your own life and family now and you do need to prioritise them as well as the wish to be nearer your parents. If you do decide to definitely return then thoroughly research where you will live as it doesn’t need to be directly near your parents - there are many vibrant and interesting places to live.

@Aussiegirl123456 I find a lot of talk is about moving up the ladder and work, which is fine, I’m from a professional background, degree etc. I hate the thought of the 9-5 Mon-Fri and back home to watch tv…drinking and shopping at the weekend. Those are my main memories and it was sort of fun at the time, but from 16/17 years old I knew I wanted to leave

@lljkk From the North but would be going to the South

@Wheresmywoolyjumpers Can you not go back? See this is my fear…don’t you feel happy at all?

@Anonymous48 We can go back fairly regularly, but it’s not the same as living down the road/seeing loved ones a few times per week.
The education where we are is pretty good, it’s just different and I know the U.K. education system well. It’s hard to know what to do for the best.
Do you ever miss the U.K.?

@Anonymous48 He is

Where do you live that its normal to all be off work on a tues ? I can't think of many places where that would be the normal for all that love there
Maybe in a richer circle of friends

I lived abroad in an European country for 7 years.
I made the decision to go back home (to Ireland), and am sooo glad I made that decision.
Yes, the climate and lifestyle abroad was great, but for me nothing compared to being close to my family and friends.
I'm also happy that my kids will grow up with an education system that I'm used to.
Once my toddlers are a bit older, I plan to take 3-week-long holidays abroad in summer (rent an AirBnB) and feel like I "live" there.

You can live here without being materialistic, interested in celebrities and shopping. But you'll need to find new friends.

@worriedatthistime Majority have own businesses/work from home etc…that isn’t really our situation but Dh has some flexibility with his boss, can change days and so on.
This is the thing, I’ve taken all this for granted now, it wasn’t normal life for me before and won’t be like this in the U.K.

@Apollonia1 That’s nice to hear, did it take you long to settle back? Do you ever miss it?