Will I be able to return to U.K. life

[Blippimakesyouhyper]

Have lived abroad for many years, travelled lots etc. We’re due to return to live in the U.K. after Christmas. Mainly due to wanting dc, 3 to be closer to grandparents and have British schooling.
The lifestyles are worlds apart, between both places, both places have their negatives & positives.
I just really thought about it the other day when we were attending a friends birthday party, nearly all dads were there too aswell as mums…it was a random Tuesday in the middle of the day. It was hot and sunny, cocktails, playing in the pool etc.
When we go back, we don’t have the same job flexibility as many do here and I can’t see Dh being off in the middle of the day and attending parties and so on.
Beginning to worry I’ll feel trapped and hemmed in

I think people mature out of this mentality, however i think the weather is partly responsible as it is not conducive to an active outdoor lifestyle. I live on the south west coast and it is still dreary and depressing much of the year. I get outside when I can, but I do get weekends in the winter when I only leave the house to go shopping as its stormy out.

Also, you pay a premium to live anywhere decent in the UK, even where there aren't many job opportunities in that place. I don't know what your finances are like, but it is pretty brutal for parents at the moment with kids here. Nursery is £61 a day and wraparound care with schools is close to £14 a day for me. It's much more than that in some places. The cost of fuel and utilities are eye watering, as are rents and mortgages. You need a very good income to have a good life, two above average ones to not feel the pinch too much if you want to live in a desirable area. We both work full time in our household and it's tiring, but we never have much to show for it.

Healthcare might be funded by taxes, but it is very poor - I'm still struggling to get to the bottom of a development issue with my son a year after his first assessment. My last GP appointment for me took 3 weeks by phone and the doctor was a horrible bitch to me, but they are all working flat out due to staff shortages. Things like dentistry are very expensive too and you have to fight to get seen by an NHS dentist and you still pay a lot for it.

I don't want to put you off. A lot of places in the world are going downhill at the moment and the UK is one of them. So I just want you to be aware of what it is like now. If you are doing well financially you might be shielded from these issues, but for most normal people life is getting harder in the UK.

Where you are sounds great. I would move there in a heartbeat!

You sound happy where you are. It's not selfish to stay where you are.

If you are settled and happy, no I wouldn’t return. I would plan for your parents to visit you regularly. Or to air bnb for much of the holiday in the U.K. etc. Dh and I returned to the U.K. He’s not British but we’d lived here for many years before moving abroad for about a decade. It was a big culture shock and much had changed. People seemed so very different from me and it took years to settle.

I also wouldn’t come here for the British schooling unless the one, where you live is dire. Many schools have staff vacancies. Teaching is not an easy profession and many do not stay for long. Have a google about the teacher recruitment crisis.

The country when I returned was pre Brexit. But it wasn’t the country I remembered. The xenophobia was shocking and Brexit has made so many things worse.

The point about grandparents would be the clincher for me as to why I would move back in your shoes. Grandparents can bring something extra and special into a child's life (the good ones which I expect are the majority).

It is not going to be easy, though the point about the level to which some employers have embraced working from home is a reality (others not either because of the nature of the work or because of inadequate managers), and if you are able to choose to an extent where you live, there are some good schools.

The only thing I would consider is moving back in say April/May, not during the winter.

Lived in the UK for 21 years and I cant stand it here. Its not the same country it was 2 decades ago. My advice, dont do it!! Go somewhere ese. Maybe a European city.

What has changed?

I have a close relation in the same position. He and his family are thinking of coming back to the UK from Dubai when the son starts school and so the children see their grandparents. They've been out there years and I think the shock of returning will be terrible

Many of us would dislike living in Dubai.
Gross commercialism built on slave labour.

I wouldn't come back. Have you seen the state of our government?

Where do you live now?

I think nuance is needed.
Your description of life in Florida clearly isn’t what a large chunk of the population would describe their lives as like on a similar thread.

Wealth, employment, friendship circles and personality types and probably chance will have a big impact on what your life is like in the UK.

Wealth being the biggest insulating factor and can probably get you whatever life style you like here if you have enough of it.

Location also matters. I’m zone 2 in London in a multi cultural area and so a lot of what’s said on this thread doesn’t feel like my experience here. DIY and shopping are not something I think I’ve ever discussed since I’ve been here!
My childrens classes are filled with kids from Europe, Africa and Asia. Also people tend to have small flats and houses here so are out about all the time. Although not so much private pools and surfing.

How far away from family will you be in the UK? It sounds like it needs to be very near to make it worthwhile.

Will you be near the coast? If you are sporty/outdoorsy it makes all tbe difference.
We live near the beach and it is wonderful to be able to go to the beach after school.We both work flexibly so can make this happen.

The luck of the draw is the parents you will meet at school, unless you have lots of other friends with DC nearby.

We have gained a lot by moving (within UK) but I lost my tribe of school gate mates, they made the monotony of winter life easier, with friday night dinners and drinks so families could socialise together.

@speakout Where you live sounds like my kind of place . I’m happy overseas but would love to be Somewhere like that if we have to return. Could you tell me where?

Can’t you move your parents out to you? They might love it too!

I wouldn’t @Blippimakesyouhyper for your and, especially, for your child’s sake. I’d much rather my child to go through the European educational system and be brought up in the European culture, up until the university level.
I’ve been through both. I find the atmosphere quite toxic nowadays. I’d have a look at the curriculum etc and compare it to where you currently live.

If you live in EU, you travel every 3/4 months to see your family, but I really think that you’ll find more cons than pros in living “just down the road”.

I live in a village not far from Edinburgh. ( Not far from where JK rowling lives- presumably she could live anywhere in the world)

I think we have a good education system.
My DD graduated last year- no univeristy fees and a non means tested large annual bursary.

This is literally my worst idea of too! The idea of 9-5 Monday - Friday, tv in the evenings, shopping on weekends. I’m also like you in I’m not at all materialistic and my main aim is more time to spend as a family, ideally outdoors! I live in S England and we’ve created a lifestyle that suits us. We are both lucky enough to work flexible jobs from home, me part time (3 small children). We live in an outdoorsy area right on the coast, with lots going on. We’ve been swimming in the sea every evening this week. Paddle boarding, kayaking, we do lots of cycling and walking. I sea swim year round! Lots of people similar to us around. We have lived abroad but very happy we came back. We are close to family with the lifestyle we want. Not everyone in the U.K. is the same and not every area is going to be the same. I think where you live in U.K. a huge factor of course..cost of living is crazy high right now, but we scrape by!

Not sure where you are now. Bu I would think carefully before you return to the UK. There are a lot of countries offering a better lifestyle than this miserable dump.

I can relate, op. I've lived in a European country now for ten years. My husband is from there and we have a 2 year old and one on the way. I miss the friendliness of people in the UK, it's easier to meet friends, I miss my family. I debated moving back, husband is open to it. But I've now just been back for a month visiting and while I've loved it, I have major doubts. Healthcare for one. In the country I live, you just go directly to the specialists when you have an issue. My son has a paediatrician who can see him the same day I phone if there's an issue. The education is fantastic and higher education free, the streets clean. And because the richer pay more taxes, it decreases the gap between "rich and poor' which means no food banks and a better quality of life for everyone.

It's tough, is having family around enough improvement of quality of life or is access to good free education and healthcare and less crime better? At the moment it's the latter with lots of visits to the UK to keep the bound between the children and my family. I just couldn't justify moving us back and giving all that up for now.

After travelling while the kids were young we moved (to Ireland rather than the UK) just before eldest was due to start secondary school, so that he could have a stable secondary education.

TBH, I really miss the warm weather.

BUT, it's nice having friends that aren't all here temporarily, easy having everything in English and knowing I can live here indefinitely without the periodic mucking about to renew residency, being able to easily visit grandparents, and it is pretty. Just not warm.

I won't lie, once the kids are through secondary school you won't see me for dust - I'm going back somewhere warm with swimming pools!

I wouldn’t move back to the U.K. I love it but I can’t live there. I think a lot of people overlook the fact that it is grey there for a lot of the year. Sunshine hours are way lower than lots of other countries even when it’s warm. Seems like a minor thing but I know so many people who struggle with the grey. Myself included.

I moved overseas many years ago and we moved back to the U.K. when I had DC1 - but after five years and even buying a beautiful house in a lovely village near my family, we upped sticks and went back overseas. It IS materialistic and many people do focus on stuff that really doesn’t matter in the U.K. You can’t beat sunshine and sea. Your description of the party sounds idyllic. Honestly unless you are totally miserable I really would think long and hard or at least do some trips home for longer periods in February / March / April (rather than July when it’s at its best).

I think you'll find a lot of the talk will be about the cost of living crisis. Fuel prices are set to soar. It's predicted that the average family will have an energy bill of £3k a year by next January.

That's a third of the state pension. How will people manage? Well the government don't have a plan that will make a real difference so they won't. We are in for some grim times. (Look up Martin Lewis for more on this).

This government is running the country into the ground. We left the EU because of Boris Johnson's ambition to be PM, he didn't even believe in Brexit, it was a vehicle for him to get into power. It was a national act of self harm, people are starting to realise this and it will continue to play out over the next several years.

The Tories are chipping away at the NHS, privatising it by stealth. It's hard to get GP appointments and ambulance response times are sometimes terrible.

The Tories are (as predicted) talking about opting out of the European Convention on Human Rights, literally limiting our human rights. People are going along with it because - as with Brexit - they are spinning a line that it's about controlling our borders when I'm reality it will impact us all.

The education system has been meddled with for years. Teachers are under enormous and still increasing stress and many experienced teachers are simply leaving the profession. The Tories have imposed a curriculum that squeezes out the creativity e.g. in English there's huge emphasis on teaching grammar at the expense of empowering the children to think creatively about language or appreciate literature

We don't have a decent opposition to hold the Tories in check. Starmer doesn't have widespread support and the Lib Dems are tiny.

There are lots of good things about the UK, of course and those of us living here make the best of it. There will probably be people denying what I've written and saying how great it is for them, but anyone who can't see we're in some very troubling times as a country is reading the wrong media in my opinion.

Elderly parents is of course a compelling reason to want to be close to them. But otherwise, are you really sure you want to come back?

Your life sounds idyllic!

What would happen to your children's nationality if they moved here? Do they have the nationality of the country you live in? Would they lose this? Pretty much all our children in this country have lost free movement in the EU: they've lost the right to live, work and explore the EU on their own terms. I don't understand why more people here aren't angrier about that.

I've lived in Hong Kong for work (5 years). I returned home as DH didn't like it and my parents were getting older. Honestly, I still miss it. UK life is just "ok" personally I want to move somewhere else again for a few years. Just to experience different things and learn another language. I think it depends if you think returning to the UK is your travelling days over, of if you perhaps intend to be off again in 3-4 years.

I think it will really depend on where you chose to live op. If you go for somewhere in the London commuter belt that is built up you might feel quite hemmed in. The South West and many other regions are very different. Much less pressure to have material things and much more outdoorsy. The cities are smaller but all have their own character so you can get a bit of culture. Most families I know spend their weekends out on bikes, paddle boards, camping, hiking etc. We have a local outdoor pool in walking distance. Indoor pools, woodland cycle trails, moorland, beaches, rivers, flat cycle trails, a national trust property and a city all within 10mins drive.

Where in the South do you need to be close to for your parents?