18 year old son going on holiday with his mum and step dad ?

[Sharlsharkshark]

First holiday abroad since 2019 and I invited my son along. He usually comes and it’s not usually an issue. This time I sensed my partner didn’t want him there. He didn’t speak to my son For most of the holiday and tried to exclude him a few times. I was really upset by this. It ended up with me and my son relaxing by the pool most days. I didn’t raise anything with my partner as I didn’t want to spoil the mood anymore than it was. We have now returned home and we’re not speaking only because I said we need a chat when we get back home. Was I being unreasonable to bring my son?

I don’t see anything wrong with 18 year olds going on holiday with their parents. I went on a cruise with my dad when I was 18 and loved it.
Your son wanted to go, and wasn’t dragged there against his will. He’ll be off doing his own thing in a few years so it’s no wonder you want to make the most of it now, especially after the past couple of years.
Your partner is being very selfish. He should be supporting you in making the most of spending special time with your son before he decides to not come anymore. Your partner might have sped that up a bit now with his attitude.

He told my son where the straws were. I agreed and said Yh grab a straw as glasses might be dirty. I ended up with a tummy bug the night before hence why I agreed to get a straw. Then he turns on me. I reminded him that he’s the one telling him to get a straw not me. That’s when he said I fuss over him a lot. Totally weird behaviour

I’m imagining it cost op a lot more for her partner to come because her ds then couldn’t share a room with her, which you’d do if you want a cheapish little extra holiday. I get from the partners pov, he’d say he’s sharing a room with op and her ds has his own room so she should be paying the lions share.

Your 18 year old sounds lovely and way more mature than your 'partner'. That spare part comment broke my heart, not gonna lie.

Well done for giving a well needed break to your son. He will never forget it. Sod the grumpy partner.

Your partner sounds very unpleasant and jealous of your relationship with your son. I take my 19yo with me on holidays because he's a great companion and i like travelling with him. I'd be very pissed off with your partner, unless you are about to tell us that the 3 of you were sharing a room and you had your boy with you 24/7

Going on holiday with your parents is entirely different to going with a new partner, a step father or step mother is always going to be tricky, sure enough in this case it did.
With a group of 3 there is always a gooseberry, why did everyone agree in advance - because they hadn’t experienced what can happen.

I also don't get the whole 'they won't want to come at that age'

Presumably those posters have kids who couldn't wait to be shot of their parents when they hit 18 😆 Some of us have adult children who actually enjoy our company!

Yea agree with everyone else

That would be my last outing with him. Dealbreaker for the rudeness and the huffiness

There are no excuses. Gobsmacked by some of the responses on this post! He’s your son, your partner is an idiot.

Your poor ds. It would be bad enough in any circumstances but awful after two years of lockdowns.

Dd is 20y and still comes away with us once or twice a year. She's a student and we pay for her. We have the money to do so that isn't an issue.

We give her the option when we book our holidays and so far she's always said yes. She loves holidays and travelling and relishes the idea of getting to go further afield and stay in nicer accommodation than when she goes with friends. When she comes with us she gets upgraded food, drink, hotels and day trips than what she gets when she holidays with friends. Best of both worlds!!

She also goes away with friends too. That comes out of savings she makes from her monthly allowance she gets from us, rather than us paying extra on top.

Almost all of DD's friends go away on holidays with their parents at least once a year.

It's lovely to have that family time away. We are off to Malaysia for a fortnight soon, the three of us, and we are all really looking forward to it. It's still a grown ups holiday for us as Dd is also an adult and one we get on very well with.

Dd is already planning next years summer break with us, plus a Christmas market trip together and possibly a wider family few days away around Easter time. No doubt she will go away with friends either later in the year or early next year for a few days in Europe. Although many can't afford it right now so she's even considering if her grandma fancies a few days away for a curt break sight seeing. So it isn't just mum and dad she's happy to holiday with here!

We lazed by the pool, swam, went on a boat-trip (to a beach thats been on tic-toc a lot recently - apparently), went into the nearby town for meals and cocktails etc We didn't go clubbing or sat smoking dope all day, but other than that I don't know what else teens want to do @Crazykatie ?

Our DS (22) is coming on holiday with us this summer. He didn’t when he was 19 as he’s been away with uni friends and then needed to work but wanted to this year. He’s a student and we can afford to take both of them. Sounds like your partner spoiled the trip for you all.

I wouldn’t be attracted to someone who treated my child like crap tbh

I totally agree with this comment.

Petty jealousy. I'm not sure I could put up with it myself

Not all DC have groups of "mates" that they are able to go away with. Not all DC hate being seen with their parents. We always offer to take our young adult DSs with us and they always want to. Exception was a weekend away for our anniversary. Last holiday we invited DS2s girlfriend too but she was unable to come and he asked if it was okay if he came without her!

My DSs know that they will never be refused a place on holiday with us. There may come a day where we can't afford it and they'll have to pay their way, but at the moment (both early 20s) they love coming along. DS1 recently had his first trip away with friends but really wasn't in that position when he was 18.

Your partner is an immature twat.

Your DP is an arse.

Your poor DS is only 18! He’s still a teenager.

My DS (mid 20s and single) still wants to go on holiday with me as well as going on “lads” holidays. I enjoy it while I can because the day will come when he no longer wants to do it.

I hope you dump that asshole fast. Don’t waste another second on him.

Haha, the son is 18 - a man - he should be going away with his mates.

I really don't understand why parents of older teens/early to mid 20s kids treat them like younger teenagers. Occasional family holdidays are great but couples holidays are equally important for relationships.

Ugh, dump. Sorry OP but he sounds vile.

What a horrible man 🤬
My adult DCs are welcome, if there’s space, to join us on uk holidays (we rarely go abroad but have holidayed with DC2, DDIL and DGCs abroad). Everyone is welcome to do their own thing or join up with others.
Never would I tolerate your partner’s behaviour.

@Sharlsharkshark

It is unreasonable of you to take your 18-year-old son on vacation with your partner.
I have a son the same age as yours and on vacation I prefer to go alone with my partner to have a little intimacy.
Vacations are also there for that.
It is not a lack of affection for your child, but precisely the desire for intimacy and freedom that is lacking with an adult child in the way.
Did you sleep in the same room?