18 year old son going on holiday with his mum and step dad ?

[Sharlsharkshark]

First holiday abroad since 2019 and I invited my son along. He usually comes and it’s not usually an issue. This time I sensed my partner didn’t want him there. He didn’t speak to my son For most of the holiday and tried to exclude him a few times. I was really upset by this. It ended up with me and my son relaxing by the pool most days. I didn’t raise anything with my partner as I didn’t want to spoil the mood anymore than it was. We have now returned home and we’re not speaking only because I said we need a chat when we get back home. Was I being unreasonable to bring my son?

My partner was always wonderful with my son but have noticed that he has not the same patience with DS since he went to uni as he now seems to see DS as another adult especially as DS is very independent.

I had a similar situation lately where my usually wonderful partner acted like yours. I did what you did but at the end of the holiday I left it clear that the purpose of the holiday for me was to see DS and fuss about him (we went to visit him at uni) and that if he didn’t think that would work for him, he was most welcome to stay home as we could go on holiday on our own at any other time.

Interestingly… I have said that but someway I know that I wouldn’t want to bring DP with us for another holiday with DS. They don’t work for me anymore.

That’s the bad thing of reconstructing your life after a significant split:

There comes the brigade of women who think you need to put your children first all the time as your happiness is no longer important… interestingly, I have noticed most women who are belligerent about this are those in bad marriages who are staying for the money but claiming they are doing it for the children even when the children are not benefitting at all of growing up in such toxic environment. Those who are in good relationships are never as hard as those who aren’t.

No he is your son.

YANBU. My children are 18 and 20 and they still enjoy coming away with us. We're a family and that's how your son should feel. Not to be made to feel awkward. I agree. You need to have words. It's unacceptable. He is your son and will always be part of your life

I would assume an 18yo would not even want to go on a holidays with his mum tbh. 🙄😂

I don't know why people say things like this. I mean, it sucks for you if your 18 year old wouldn't want to holiday with you, but why would you think mine wouldn't, or anyone elses? Some of us actually get on great with our teenagers...

No, Putting their interests first does not mean doing whatever they want. It was actually in your kids interest to spend time with his dad and learn that he can't have his way every time. Indulging a child in every desire is not putting their interests first.

No point in replying to the OP about a dilemma she had in July !