18 year old son going on holiday with his mum and step dad ?

[Sharlsharkshark]

First holiday abroad since 2019 and I invited my son along. He usually comes and it’s not usually an issue. This time I sensed my partner didn’t want him there. He didn’t speak to my son For most of the holiday and tried to exclude him a few times. I was really upset by this. It ended up with me and my son relaxing by the pool most days. I didn’t raise anything with my partner as I didn’t want to spoil the mood anymore than it was. We have now returned home and we’re not speaking only because I said we need a chat when we get back home. Was I being unreasonable to bring my son?

Haha, the son is 18 - a man - he should be going away with his mates.
I find that a really sad attitude to have.
I have an 18 year old too, he's always out with his mates or at the girlfriend's, doesn't mean we can't do things together as well though!
Went to the cinema and bowling with him the other week, just because they've got older doesn't mean they always think of putting mum in the bin (metaphorically speaking)

That isn’t what happened though, OP organised a family holiday with her DS, and invited her DP along as well. Her DS was always coming, it was the DP who was a last-minute invitation. He could have said no, he wasn’t forced onto the plane at gun point.

Jesus, such hyperbole 😂

@Johnnysgirl

is it? In what way?

Sacrificing yourself entirely @LuckySantangelo35
Nobody suggested they'd done any such thing, or would advise anyone else to.

LuckySantangelo35 I'm so sorry. I should have realised I'd have to be clearer for you to understand. It's sad that there are women on this thread who are proud that they care more about getting cock than their children. HTH

Exactly
i asked @LuckySantangelo35 to pull out a single post where there has been said

tumbleweed in response

@ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave

Thank you SO much for clarifying!

although I’m not sure any posters on here have said anything like that have they?

It’s not even nescesaily on this thread @Bertieboo82

its mumsnet in general and wider society in general that gives the message that women should sacrifice themselves at the alter of motherhood

I must have missed that memo from society.

I am happy to put my childrens interests above mine if ever a scenario arises where I have to choose.

it is not even though I have a choice. Every part of my instinct would just do this without thinking

@LuckySantangelo35

You don’t enjoy parenting, do you?

Your son sounds lovely, partner less so. Keep the former, Fitch the latter. You deserve a happy family.

No judgment but it is fairly clear you don’t.

and you think that all the rest of us don’t enjoy it either but we aren’t brave enough to admit it.

Yes some fundamentally don’t enjoy being a parent but certainly I’m not one of them and i would hazard a guess - I’m in the majorIty.

is it always “enjoyable”? Hell no!

@Bertieboo82

some if it I do, some of it I don’t 🤷‍♀️

I don’t know why you’re so vexed by the fact that I don’t put my kids wants/needs over mine all of the time. It’s totally normal to me and lots of my friends.

My child is loved and well cared for but he is not more important than me and I didn’t cease to have wants, needs and feelings when he was born.

This is escalating into just being nasty and personal now, you've both made your point so maybe best to just agree to disagree.

Yep. Exactly.

And to the person who thinks 18 is too old to come on holiday with a parent, in abbot to blow your mind as I'm going on holiday with my 35 year old soon. Holidays are always important to us as a family, and they're what we're good at!

Of course my DDs have trips of their own, but most years we have a holiday together too, and always have.

Your partner is a jealous man child. Tell him to go back to his cave. Ug!

Not nasty/personal on my part I hope

Not every 18yr old wants to go away with their mates. At 18 my eldest came to Paris with me and his grandmother. He’s 28 and still comes away with us, my second son is 18 next month and we are off to Disneyworld to celebrate! I’m happy for my kids to always come away with me. Quite sad all the parents who insist kids stop wanting to go away with you at 18. They don’t all

No, you've been quite measured, tbf.

No @LuckySantangelo35 I think you've been very patient in the face of needless escalation

@wellhelloitsme

Thank you

Bloody hell there's some needlessly aggressive parents on here who don't seem to have a clue about teens

Well I had a holiday on my own to Rhodes in April, just got back from Cyprus with DS(22) and his girlfriend and going to Menorca in September with DH.

Whilst DH just got back from Scarborough with his eldest DS,(30) wife and grandkids.

Ages don't have anything to do with it. As long as they're all still happy to come.

OP, your oh is an arse and needs binning.

Wow just came back to this thread...classic OP then ran 🙄