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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend didn't give me a discount ....aibu?

386 replies

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:14

My best friend of over 30 years ...her partner works at a well known chain restaurant that isn't the cheapest.
They get 33% staff discount for that restaurant (any in country) and 40% off other restaurants owned by same company.
To use the discount her partner logs into his staff portal and downloads a voucher which is sent to email and you have 24hours to use it.
You can use a discount voucher every day.
Every time it's my birthday she gets him to get one and he forwards it to her and she gets the 40% off my birthday meal.

Tonight I'm taking my partner to this particular restaurant and when she asked what my plans were I told her -and she didn't offer to get me a discount voucher and just said "have fun"
Now it would cost them nothing to get me a discount voucher

I used to work in a department store and every time she came in I made sure to serve her and she got 30% off
This was off beauty /clothes /homeware even a sofa.
So I've saved her a fortune over the years.

Aibu to think it's a bit tight not getting me a voucher?
These vouchers have no names or anything
Literally just a QR code

OP posts:
maddy68 · 07/07/2022 13:49

She probably has to show ID YABU

Twizbe · 07/07/2022 13:49

YABVU

It was nice of her to share HIS discount with you in the past.

For all you know the policy has changed or he has already planned to use his voucher that day.

You're not entitled to HIS staff discount

KrisAkabusi · 07/07/2022 13:49

She likely can’t risk losing her job to give you a voucher

She doesn't even work there! It's her partner's job being risked. So yes, you're being a CF, you have no right to expect something that your friend has no right to offer.

MandSStoreManager · 07/07/2022 13:50

AIBU that I committed fraud for a friend, but her DP won’t commit fraud for me?

RaspberryChouxBuns · 07/07/2022 13:51

Grabby

Bonjovispjs · 07/07/2022 13:52

Just ask her if she forgot to offer, then she'll tell you if they've had to tighten things up.

Comefromaway · 07/07/2022 13:53

Her sister & parents would be classed as immediate family. You are not.

Vikinga · 07/07/2022 13:53

How old are you op? Because my 12 year old sounds more mature than you.

BJBeGone · 07/07/2022 13:53

Op can you see the perspective of anyone on here that has the opposite view to you?

You don't give to receive. You offered her the discount, fine. You've used the discount in the past, great. You didn't ask for it and somehow expect your friend to get you the discount for a company she doesn't even work for!

You sound entitled and grabby and your responses on here sound a little stroppy too.

Sparklingbrook · 07/07/2022 13:54

YABU. it's not even her discount it's her partner's. Some schemes like this mean you can only use them if you live at the same address or are close family.

Loads have said YABU and yet you don't seem to be able to see it.

stuntbubbles · 07/07/2022 13:54

Have you only ever gone there before for your birthday meal, with her? And this is the first time you’ve gone off-piste without her? Perhaps her partner only lets her use the discount when she benefits.

Bigboysmademedoit · 07/07/2022 13:54

daisychainsandrainbows · 07/07/2022 13:22

So normally she takes you and brings the voucher herself but this time you're not going with her and still expecting her to produce a voucher for a meal she's not attending?

It's a staff perk and maybe at a push staff members' partners can use them and you've benefited from that previously. On this occasion however if nobody sat at the table has any connection to a staff member they can't just use a staff discount voucher. YABU.

This

youngestisapsycho · 07/07/2022 13:55

FFs... just ask her if she can get you a voucher?!

RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 07/07/2022 13:57

Is it Miller & Carter? I know they've started checking staff ID to make sure they're actually staff recently for this very reason...

yellowsmileyface · 07/07/2022 13:57

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:45

Yeah I sound like such a terrible friend saving her hundreds of pounds over the years .....yet she can't return the favour
Yes dreadful

It's unreasonable to keep tabs on people like that. You obviously feel she owes you for the money you've saved her over the years. Take this as a lesson. Don't do favours if you're expecting something in return.

It's not even her discount. If I worked somewhere and got an employee discount, and my partner wanted to make use of the discount for his friends, I'd think that's really cheeky and I'd feel used.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/07/2022 13:58

She asked you for the discount. The only way to resolve this is to use the same behaviour and ask her. I would tell her you will be taking her to somewhere you can use the code when you pay for her birthday meal.

BatshitBanshee · 07/07/2022 13:58

You're a CF friend. Big difference in you using your staff discount directly to her and her finagling a restaurant discount for you by getting her DH to get one for her via a staff portal. It's not hers to give.

Are you always so transactional in relationships or is it just when someone has something you want.

YouOKHun · 07/07/2022 14:00

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:45

Yeah I sound like such a terrible friend saving her hundreds of pounds over the years .....yet she can't return the favour
Yes dreadful

What do you want? For her’s and your generosity to be matched pound for pound? You can’t demand it and then get angry when your Sanand isn’t met. If you don’t ask her then she can’t tell you why a discount isn’t forthcoming.

I wouldn’t be surprised if staff discounts have diminished or almost disappeared and certainly tightened up. You were obviously generous to her and likely risked your job to get her a discount in the past by the sounds of it but I think you wouldn’t be able to offer her that now either, times have changed.

LonelyInAutumn · 07/07/2022 14:00

Not sure why you've bothered asking if you are unreasonable because from what you have written, you clearly think you aren't and aren't willing to be told so by everyone else. If you and said friend are as close as you think, you should have just been straight up and asked tbf

Sparklingbrook · 07/07/2022 14:00

At the department store my friend worked at giving staff discount to a friend would result in a disciplinary at least. Or to anyone not living at his address.

Potatosaladfiend · 07/07/2022 14:00

QR codes contain information though- and the use of the discount may well link back to employee accounts?

Keladrythesaviour · 07/07/2022 14:01

My.old work place tightened up on their shcmee part way through working there. Our area managers could come at any time and look through our customer history and check what we'd bought and if similar card numbers etc were being used. You could get away with a couple of cash transactions, but lots of different cards you couldn't prove were yours, or lots of different stores etc would start ringing alarm bells.
Also, maybe they've already got the code allocated for someone on that day?

wednesday32 · 07/07/2022 14:01

'Her partner works at a well known chain restaurant' so your best friend doesn't work there, this isn't a perk of her job, it's a perk of his jo. so he doesn't owe you anything.
'To use the discount her partner logs into his staff portal and downloads a voucher which is sent to email and you have 24hours to use it.'

Her partner may not have been home, may have been busy, asleep etc.

'Tonight I'm taking my partner to this particular restaurant and when she asked what my plans were I told her -and she didn't offer to get me a discount voucher.'

Did you ask for one? as much as she didn't offer, you didn't ask.
When did you tell her you were going? today? why not mention you're going there ta the time you booked it.

'I used to work in a department store and every time she came in I made sure to serve her and she got 30% off' Did she ask, or you insisted?

It is nice of you to offer, but it is not her husbands job to repay you in restaurant discount.

This is a perk of his job, not your friends. If they did give you a discount that's very nice of him, however his discount is part of his work package, When I worked for a skincare brand people would message me who I didn't know too well asking for me to order them products, I would never ask them if I could use the gym they get as pat of their job or for a percentage of their annual bones. It is rude.

mam0918 · 07/07/2022 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sparklingbrook · 07/07/2022 14:02

Potatosaladfiend · 07/07/2022 14:00

QR codes contain information though- and the use of the discount may well link back to employee accounts?

Exactly and the 'Mr Blobby' thing is not right because they can see who is sitting at the table. What a storm in a teacup.