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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend didn't give me a discount ....aibu?

386 replies

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:14

My best friend of over 30 years ...her partner works at a well known chain restaurant that isn't the cheapest.
They get 33% staff discount for that restaurant (any in country) and 40% off other restaurants owned by same company.
To use the discount her partner logs into his staff portal and downloads a voucher which is sent to email and you have 24hours to use it.
You can use a discount voucher every day.
Every time it's my birthday she gets him to get one and he forwards it to her and she gets the 40% off my birthday meal.

Tonight I'm taking my partner to this particular restaurant and when she asked what my plans were I told her -and she didn't offer to get me a discount voucher and just said "have fun"
Now it would cost them nothing to get me a discount voucher

I used to work in a department store and every time she came in I made sure to serve her and she got 30% off
This was off beauty /clothes /homeware even a sofa.
So I've saved her a fortune over the years.

Aibu to think it's a bit tight not getting me a voucher?
These vouchers have no names or anything
Literally just a QR code

OP posts:
LetMeInYourWindow · 07/07/2022 14:22

YABVU

daisypond · 07/07/2022 14:22

I used to work in a department store and every time she came in I made sure to serve her and she got 30% off

You don’t seem to understand how completely wrong that is. Probably a disciplinary offence.

And QR codes are traceable. Just because you can’t read the pattern doesn’t mean no one / nothing else can. There’s a lot of info in those codes.

Goldfishmountainclimber · 07/07/2022 14:22

Could you just ask her? Nicely.
She might have been tired or busy and just not thought about it?

Thinkingblonde · 07/07/2022 14:26

Happyplace88 · 07/07/2022 13:23

🙄

Show quote history

Why the rolling eyes emoji?
I worked in a department store in a management role with a staff discount of 30%. It was Staff only officially but a blind eye was turned if we let a friend or family member have it. As long as we didn’t take the piss.
My dozy FIL nearly cost me my job over my discount, he was buying a fridge from the shop on my day off and asked for me and was told it was my day off. He asked for my staff discount, he was told he couldn’t have it as he wasn’t staff, apparently he kicked up a fuss . I knew nothing about it until I went in the following day and was summoned to HR and reprimanded over it.

blisstwins · 07/07/2022 14:26

RampantIvy · 07/07/2022 13:16

I expect they have tightened up the rules about who can have a discount.

My cousin is currently enraged because her sister-in-law won’t use let her use her staff discount to buy from the chain store she works in. They have seriously cracked down in the policy and she could lose her job over it. What is they randomly spot checked and asked for employee ID? It would have been nice if she offered an explanation, I would have asked her directly or assume she cannot get it anymore.

TheThreadisMildlyAmusing · 07/07/2022 14:27

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/07/2022 13:58

She asked you for the discount. The only way to resolve this is to use the same behaviour and ask her. I would tell her you will be taking her to somewhere you can use the code when you pay for her birthday meal.

⬆️ this is what you should do Op.

Laiste · 07/07/2022 14:27

Apart from the fact that you almost certainly shouldn't have been regularly sharing your store discount with friends, and that was your risk to take, the comparison with this restaurant discount isn't correct.

The equivalent would be your friend's husband moaning on MN because he didn't get a discount off his shirt from his wife's mate's store discount.

  • It's not your mate's work place. So not a tit for tat situation.
  • He may have already given a voucher out that day.
  • If neither of them are attending the meal it might be too much of a stretch as you aren't family.
  • They might be cracking down on rules.
butterflied · 07/07/2022 14:29

I mean, you could ask her. Or go to a restaurant that you can afford without another person's discount.

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 07/07/2022 14:29

YABU. You were in the wrong to give her staff discount. Where does this end? We'd all get a discount, because our neighbour's cousin's MIL works there so therefore we are entitled? You were wrong. The fact that she gives a discount to her sister/whoever doesn't mean she should offer it to you. It has to stop somewhere, or there'd be no profit and she'd be out of a job.

Frankola · 07/07/2022 14:29

You have no idea if her partners employer has put restrictions on these OP. If staff have been able to hand them out willy-nilly as you suggest then it's a wonder they haven't done so before now.

If your friend has been giving you these vouchers for a while I'd imagine you've managed to save a lot of money over time?

QueSyrahSyrah · 07/07/2022 14:30

Of course you're being unreasonable, entitled and a massive CF (assuming this isn't a reverse).

Most staff discount policies apply to the member of staff only, and if particularly generous maybe a partner or close family and friends - mine is 75% off for me and DH so long as we're together (it's a service rather than a product) and 10% off for immediate family or close friends. I'd be sacked if I used the 75% off for anyone else, even DH without me, as it would be classed as theft.

Giving you a voucher to use in their absence is entirely different to using one while they're actually there, and I can't understand why you can't see that.

Also, you do know that a QR code contains information don't you? Not least I'd imagine the member of staff's name, and the branch they work at.

XenoBitch · 07/07/2022 14:30

Meraas · 07/07/2022 14:22

You have not understood my post, Xeno.

Show quote history

WHat have I misunderstood?

OP's friend does not work at the restaurant. It is not her discount to give out. She uses it on OPs birthday, when she is at the meal too.

OP is wanting to use a discount for when her friend is not there.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 07/07/2022 14:31

Can't you just ask her?

Laiste · 07/07/2022 14:34

People can be a bit presumptuous and greedy when it comes to money off.

One of my older DDs has very recently began work for a company. As a coincidence my BIL happened to have made a purchase from them recently. When it got through the family grapevine about DDs new job BIL immediately sent his purchase back for a refund and began messaging DH about buying it again but 'through' DD using her discount!

Shock

I mean - wait to for it to be offered maybe?!

DD reluctant to start pulling strings in her brand new job. BIL getting impatient.
Hmm

We're only talking saving 50 quid odd. Not thousands on a car or anything!

Chilmark79 · 07/07/2022 14:34

I have to admit I’m a bit shocked on behalf of these businesses that you and friends or family expect to be able to enjoy large discounts to which you are not entitled. 30% discounts are likely to incur losses to the business, which is accepted by them as an employee perk but why should they subsidise non-employees? The £000s you’ve saved each other could equally be viewed as £000s misappropriated from your employer. YABVU.

Laiste · 07/07/2022 14:37

butterflied · 07/07/2022 14:29

I mean, you could ask her. Or go to a restaurant that you can afford without another person's discount.

<meow> 😹

(but i agree)

Meraas · 07/07/2022 14:41

@XenoBitch

WHat have I misunderstood?
OP's friend does not work at the restaurant. It is not her discount to give out. She uses it on OPs birthday, when she is at the meal too.
OP is wanting to use a discount for when her friend is not there.

--------

My point is that when it's the friend's birthday, she doesn't want to eat it in the restaurant where she gets a discount, and yet when it's OP's birthday (and the friend is paying), then she does want to eat there.

That is sly and grabby behaviour.

I can see why OP is annoyed by that.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 07/07/2022 14:42

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:45

Yeah I sound like such a terrible friend saving her hundreds of pounds over the years .....yet she can't return the favour
Yes dreadful

You’re just pissed off you’ve booked an expensive place when you thought you were getting 40% off and now you aren’t 😂

Stroopwaffels · 07/07/2022 14:44

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:17

Well her partner gives them out to her to use whenever she does anywhere.
They can use 1 every 24 hours

THEY can use one. Not them and all their friends. Most companies are very strict about this . Dd works for next and gets 25% staff discount for her, and ONE other named family member (me). She’d be sacked for handing out discounts to all and sundry.

CauliWobble · 07/07/2022 14:44

Go somewhere else if its going to bug you and stop being so tight.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 07/07/2022 14:44

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/07/2022 13:22

I used to work in a department store and every time she came in I made sure to serve her and she got 30% off

I suspect if you’d been found out doing this it would have been a disciplinary offence.

Depends on the company. I worked for Debenhams, they didn't seem to care or have any rules. Anything bought on your employee store card got the discount.

Got offered a job in a different large store, you could only buy for yourself, and they monitored what size clothes you bought to make sure you were only buying for yourself. If you wanted to buy for someone else you needed to request permission.

Marvellousmadness · 07/07/2022 14:44

Hahaha op. You are funny
You asked if you were U
And then everyone says; yes. You are
And then you are all like; no im not 🤣

CauliWobble · 07/07/2022 14:44

PatientlyWaiting21 · 07/07/2022 14:42

You’re just pissed off you’ve booked an expensive place when you thought you were getting 40% off and now you aren’t 😂

Show quote history

That's what it sounds like

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 07/07/2022 14:48

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/07/2022 13:22

I used to work in a department store and every time she came in I made sure to serve her and she got 30% off

I suspect if you’d been found out doing this it would have been a disciplinary offence.

Yep! Every shop I've worked in would have sacked me for that. Well publicised case about a Tesco employee being instantly dismissed a couple of years ago too!

I would expect his discount to be for him and his immediate family only. Not him, his OH and her mates.

So yes, YABU! That's his job you are ignoring!

Laiste · 07/07/2022 14:51

Depends on the company. I worked for Debenhams, they didn't seem to care or have any rules. Anything bought on your employee store card got the discount.

And look what happened to them ....

(i miss Debenhams :( )