Can I ask you if you think I'm lazy?

[dhisaknob]

I have 3 kids oldest is 5 middle one is 3 and youngest is 12 weeks.

I do all the night feeds and then I will do the last feed at 6 and then I will get up. Feed kids get them ready for school & nursery. DH will drop them off and I will stay at home with the baby and clean and tidy. Then around 10:00am I will get back into bed with baby with a cuppa try and nap or just relax. DH will drop DD back from nursery at 12 then he goes back to his office. I will do lunch for me and DD and then we will get back into bed we will then usually all fall asleep.

Then about 1:30 I will get up shower and get babies next feed ready. Then I will stay downstairs for the rest of the day and do dinner etc.

DH will pop in and see me napping or whatever and will accuse me of being lazy and will say"why don't you just up get dressed and take the kids out instead of getting back into bed"

It works for me because if I don't catch up on some sleep I will feel groggy all day. No I don't do much with the kids during the week but we are out every weekend without fail.

Aibu?

can not pour

@PoshSpice2 So you didn't read the post then?

Keep doing what works for you OP! 12 weeks post partum is still in the trenches, I don't think I was up for much at that stage and my house certainly wasn't clean so I think you're doing great!

My DD is 9 YEARS old and I sometimes go back to bed for an hour once she goes to school just cos I can. OP, you're doing great.

Kick him awake every time you have to get up in the night. He can change the nappy and settle back to sleep once youve done the feed.

I did read the post thats why I responded. Stop looking for arguments

I think its odd, not necessarily lazy.
I can't sleep in the day however sleep deprived. When DH went back to work two weeks after the second DS arrived, I didn't have any option to share any childcare with him. In addition to looking after baby and ferrying about the other aged 4, I was renovating a house. Doing a lot of work myself.

I look back now and wonder how I did it. I also wonder why!! I've made up for it since.....rarely work more than a few hrs, can procrastinate to Olympic level, and so far this week I've achieved zilch 🤣

Make the most of it. Its bound to change.

She isn't in bed until midday. So either you didn't read the post or you left out the part of your post where you say she's not lazy.

Unless I'm misreading, you don't leave the house at all during the week?

That doesn't sound healthy.

Sounds like you've got into a nice routine. It's not going to last as they kids get bigger so enjoy it while you can.

This. It's a phase - bloody enjoy it while it lasts!!! Soon it will be summer and the 5yo will be at home, maybe the 3yo will have dropped the nap by the time September comes. So actually you've maybe only got 3 weeks of being able to do this left - enjoy every day and stop feeling guilty!

@PoshSpice2 can’t you see it as shift work? She’s up all night working and feeding so needs to sleep during the day? Or should she be available 23 hours a day in full make up for the head of the household?

@dhisaknob you’ve got a great routine and keep going. I’d tell DH if he wants you to be awake during the day he needs to let you sleep at night. Stop going downstairs to feed, pick a night for his feeds and wake the fucker up. Don’t take no for an answer.

I’d ‘catch him napping’ during the times he should be doing the night feeds and accuse him of being lazy. Repeatedly. Until he shuts up.

This is exactly how I lived out my newborn/baby days with both my children . I slept every opportunity I got because I was up all night nursing . This lasted until my kids started sleeping better . My second born is 19 months and still isn’t a great sleeper. We had a two hour morning nap together this morning while my husband took our oldest to preschool .

When he gets up at night to do all the night feeds he can have an opinion on whether you're lazy or not.

Jesus, not lazy at all. The advice is always to grab any sleep you can especially if you are the only one dealing with night waking.
Your DH would abhor me, I'm in my 50s, children grown and if I'm not working or going out I have a nap every day .

🤣

Until your 12 week go through the night no way- broken sleep is exhausting esp around 2-3.30 am- I find this to be when I’m deepest asleep

Well you are spending all morning basically in bed? Seems like a waste of a day to me rather than being lazy?

To me it sounds like you're super woman. That's a huge amount of work what with poor sleep. Tell him to do one.

When should she catch up on sleep otherwise?

When does the youngest and you get any fresh air or walking at all? Is he in all day during the week - that isnt about being lazy but I do think staying in all day isnt the healthiest

Yes that does sound lazy. Unless you are ill.

Sounds like you have got a great routine going, which ensures you are not going to end up seriously sleep deprived.

Next time your DH offers his unwanted criticism point out the clean and tidy house, the fed and watered DC in their clean clothes and ask him how the fuck that happened if you are so lazy. Does he think housework and laundry and meals just happen by magic?

Then tell him if he doesn't have anything supportive to say to the woman who birthed three children for him, he can STFU.

@PoshSpice2 So you did read that she gets up after doing the last night feed at 6am? What are you on about so?

ffs, start calling him lazy when he stays in bed all night!!