What’s the sad reality about life that you had to learn?

[YouAreNotBatman]

To me it was how little people actually care about other’s.

And how lonely and isolating life can be, even as an adult, if you just don’t ”fit in” with the norm.

I get that people are selfish arseholes, but I thought deep down they would still care. Then I saw a man commit suicide and realised how wrong and naive i was. While I desperately tried to save his life. People stole from him, refused to call for help, refused to offer any kind of help themselves, laughed at him, bitched they'd be late for work...

That things don't necessarily get better. I had an abusive childhood at home and was bullied at school. What got me through was believing things would get better when I was older. Well of course they don't. I had 'victim' written all over me and continued to be bullied at work. I never realised adults bullied each other too.

That life is desperately unfair. For so many people in so many ways.

You can be the nicest, most genuine person in the world and still not have the life you crave

Democracy and equal rights have to be defended constantly as less people believe it in than you'd ever imagine.

To me it was how little people actually care about other’s

For me that was slightly a relief, being overly self-conscious when I was younger.

That life is desperately unfair. For so many people in so many ways.

Yes, this.

No one owes you anything.

However on the plus side, you don't owe anything else anything either (apart from your children if you have them), and life is out there for the taking. Make the most of it and enjoy what you have. Appreciate the small things. Buying stuff does not equal satisfaction and Life.

Stop saving things for best. 'Best' never comes. Use, love and have what you want. Don't keep it locked away in the hope an occasion you finally deem suitable happens and you can use whatever it is. Get the enjoyment from it and use it/wear it and love it.

Yep. Unfortunately yep. Most common response out there especially for abuse within families.

That the only think in life that you have full control over is your own attitude.

Karma does not exist. Bad people do bad things and often live wonderful happy lives. Karma is often now used as an excuse for people allowing themselves to be doormats 'do nothing - karma always gets them in the end'. Spoiler: karma rarely, if ever, gets anyone.

Nothing actually matters. Literally nothing. Even if you are the worst person imaginable, nobody will remember in 50/60 years because everyone you know will be dead. Pretty much everything we do is completely pointless.

Women are loathed and despised by men.

You miss 100% of the shots you fail to take

I'm not sure if this is sad or not, but its certainly unsettling and disconcerting for ASD people: how much neurotypicals lie. I don't even know if 'lie' is the right word, because a lot of the time it isn't malicious or sometimes even intentional. Just - how frequently neurotypicals say things that aren't true, during the course of their day.

I think most people consider others' misfortune to be largely their own fault.

There is an element of truth in that.

Many people cannot recognise their own self interest when in slaps them in the face. e.g Brexit; voting Tory.

You're telling me, even when you think you have good friends. My husband left suddenly when I was really ill after 20 years of marriage because my illness was boring for him even though it was temporary. I had to sell my house and find a new home and job all the way cross country 200 miles away on my own.
I lost my job just before covid. They didn't need the staff any more.
It was a horrible horrible experience having to deal with lawyers, court, house sale and the move when I was barely physically or mentally able to function.
I'm settled and happy now but I'll never be the old me again - jumping in to help people who ask me to do things for them, from now on I come first.
I learnt the hard way.

It is entirely possible that your own parents won’t be pleased for you and your want you to have success or enjoy a happy life. It’s a taboo but some parents can be intensely jealous of their own children.

Parents can often and do often compete with their own children. Unconditional love is questionable and some people will never experience it. Their lives will be littered with conditional or even transactional relationships potentially.

That you can't trust men. The only men I feel I can truly trust are my own sons. I think they are biologically programmed to love and not hurt their mothers, but that is it. I have learned over my 50 years that men are just f*cking awful.

People are generally selfish. If you want something, do it yourself.

Sadly I can identify with most of the above comments.

Sending peace and love 💙

People are disadvantaged/privileged from so very early on and the differences in life chances start there.

How lonely it is no one really cares!

**And don’t want you to have successes.

Rape and sexual abuse are very common. And until recently the sexual abuse of young people was very, very common. Unfortunately, even today most people keep quiet about it and the vast majority of rapists and abusers are never punished. You probably know some sweet old man who abused his stepdaughter fifty years ago.

Death is far uglier and nastier than you expect. In the movies, people sigh and roll over and go to sleep forever. In reality, death is often slow and horrific. People cry in pain, cough up blood, lose control of their bowels, make a hideous death rattle and look unrecognisable. Sometimes, right at the end, people sit bolt upright in bed and stare around the room. My grandmother died of a stroke when I was 19, and I’ve never got over the horror of it all. It has totally poisoned my memories of her. When I think of her, I see a hideous corpse, back arched, mouth open. It is outrageous that we’re not helped to end our lives. My friend’s dad was literally tortured to death by cancer. You never get over the fear and horror. And you’re never the same after witnessing a bad death.

In general, the horrible people win. The bullies and show offs usually grow up to be successful. And for some reason, it’s always the nice people who die young.

Your children are going to suffer agonising pain, both physical and emotional, and there is nothing you can do about it. Bare minimum they will watch people they love die and then have to face their own death. No one escapes that.

The vast majority of people are talentless mediocrities. It’s only a very small minority who make scientific breakthroughs, create beautiful music, write good poems and novels, and so on. 99% of us are just making up the numbers.

Women find it harder to be friends with one another than men do. There is always an undercurrent of bitchiness and jealousy, in spite of all the “I’m here for ya babes” nonsense.

There is no limit to human evil. Literally anything you can imagine, in your darkest nightmares, is possible. Some people truly are evil. Not sick or deranged, but evil. And I’m not just talking about Fred West or Myra Hindley. There are postmen and accountants on your estate who’d be capable of torture if they got the chance. It’s only the fear of punishment and social ostracism that prevents them.

Life is a series of moments. It has peaks and troughs. Everything passes.

You never really know someone 100%.

When you are happy you won't realise it at the time, only when you look back.

You are not defined by your past or your upbringing.

Births, deaths and weddings bring out the worst in people.