What’s the sad reality about life that you had to learn?

[YouAreNotBatman]

To me it was how little people actually care about other’s.

And how lonely and isolating life can be, even as an adult, if you just don’t ”fit in” with the norm.

That you can't always trust people in positions of authority. In fact the higher they are the more likely that they are corrupt.

I remember the shock of learning this as a child when I saw a teacher tell a blatant and damaging lie!

And also, that not every adult is a 'grown-up'. My lovely DPs were. My horrible FIL and his partner are not. Disablist, racist, out for themselves.

It's really, really hard to get promotions when you're a women.

That life can change in an instant, no matter how well prepared you think you are.

That treating other people well and being kind doesn't mean they'll do the same in return.

Agreed. And often without any real moral compass.

Life's a bitch and then you die

That many people are selfish s*bags!

Marriage isn’t forever.
3 years ago most of my friends with children were married, out of a group of 8 mums I met at playgroups only one is still happily with their partner and they arent married, literally all the married ones are now seperated/divorced.

That many people are complex, both self-interested and caring and nice.

A few people are either evil or nasty, mostly men.

What you said @YouAreNotBatman . People who can walk away without a second glance from those who apparently meant so much to them. Really sad.
Also, how life favours the selfish and narcisstic. I've seen it far too many times to think any differently.

Life is short - enjoy it while you can

Miracles don't happen

What is meant for you, won't necessarily appear for you

Monogamy is a social concept, rarely adhered to

You can't always have what you want

That being nice gets mistaken for being a mug. That it is each man for himself and fuck the rest. Sad but mainly true.

Sooner or later the man you’re with will totally fuck you over.

It takes a crisis to discover who your real friends are!

No matter how much they tell you the opposite, everyone is out for themselves and their self interests

It's natural. There is no one in the world you can trust have your back all the time other than yourself. Stop giving 100 percent of yourself to others who wouldn't even give you 25 percent of themselves.

I learned the hard way in school that people are shallow and if you don't fit the bill you are shunned.
I was suffering from depression. Everyone goes on about how important it is to look after your mental health, but there is actually very little support and empathy for people, especially kids, who are struggling.

That there are people out there who are nasty cruel and lie and that they don't actually get their 'comeuppance'.
Once I realised this and that no, life is not fair I was much happier!

The glorious world I want my DCs to enjoy doesn't exist so my job is to help them make the most, enjoy the best and prepare them to cope with the worst.

Everyone is two faced and will do what they deem they need to do to benefit themselves before anyone else.

Especially in work. I’m still relatively young but I learned a lot of harsh life lessons through work over the last 12 or so years.

• people will promise you the world with the intention of delivering none of it
• people will be kind to your face and stir up shit behind your back
• people will abuse your good nature and work ethic to the absolute maximum and not reward you for it
• people will try to manipulate others (mostly younger staff) into doing things that they themselves don’t have the balls to do
• misogynistic attitudes are still rife in upper management

It’s a real shame people can’t be upfront with anyone anymore. I remember a time where I really wanted x training to progress. I was told for months on end that yep, I’d absolutely get that training, not an issue. Yet it was pushed back, and back, and back. I took matters into my own hands, applied for the job I wanted to progress into (luckily had some experience from another role), got the job, and never looked back. If I had believed the lies I fully believe I’d still be there, over a year later, still asking if I could get trained yet.

I’m sorry that you’ve formed that impression of life and other people. What happened to you to give you such a sweeping view of your fellow humans?

My own sad reality is that my mother is never going to mother me, she didn’t protect me from being abused as a child and she won’t ever acknowledge the lack.

Also that I will never have washboard abs.

This exactly. Also a pregnancy is a pretty quick way of figuring out who your friends are, especially if it’s a difficult one where you need support (obviously not talking about friends who have fertility struggles or experienced loss here).

As soon as you need something from someone, it’s crickets. Doesn’t matter how many hours you spent consoling them in their time of need. I’m still waiting for an old friend to message first 7 years later!

I think I've realised through Mumsnet that an alarming majority of the things people say can offend someone somewhere - regardless of your intentions. Even harmless small talk.

That life is hard and fiercely competitive at work