My hard truths...
Facing up to what a harmful family I had and how they deny the abuse we suffered. How, after going it alone, no one would ever fill those boots, ever. But I've been safer and happier since the day I left.
And I assimilated that truth and have got on with life.
How alone I am. But again, have assimilated that and now feel strong and capable. All the reins of my life are in my own hands. No one is going to sort me out.
How having a partner can be a hindrance. How many parties have I been removed from by a man who didn't like it?! And I'm a musician, I make parties. I no longer allow it. Having a partner is often one long compromise and loss of power.
As I age, I think that life doles out slaps every now and then, some of which can be humiliating and debilitating, but it's best to brush them off as soon as possible to prevent them from hampering your ability to proceed. They happen to everyone and its not personal.
That we are responsible for ourselves. A heavy weight yes, but I try to be up to it. To lose my ego, to change where needed, to stand up for myself, to develop and guard my resilience. To grow wiser in making choices.
That really great musicianship requires all sorts. Hard work, regular practice, thought, taste, history and social awareness, listening, perfection in touch. It wont come easy, but it's so worth it.
There are sad truths to life, but I read that we could see life as a game, pick our games, learn their rules and then see how far we can go. I accept the sadnesses and responsibilities of life, and wonder how far I'll go. Although as I get older, the game of being slower, more patient less talkative and happier in my own at home seems to be a good choice...!