To not want a family of 4 coming to stay 2 weeks before baby is due?

[ReadytoShip]

I'm 35 weeks pregnant with my first, I am absolutely knackered as I'm not sleeping at night anymore due to PGP, severe back and hip pain, sciatica, weeing 11 x a night...you get the drift.

I'm finally due to go on maternity leave next Friday, I have a planned c section booked in for 02nd August. Due to work being so busy for both DH and I and DH having to oversee a new project in Europe over the last 6 weeks, plus the fact that the nursery has basically been a renovation job, we haven't really been able to get stuff ready for the baby.

My plan for when I go off on maternity leave is to start getting everything ready and also rest as I am just utterly exhausted now and feel unable to function most days.

BIL has now suggested that him, his wife and their 2 young children come to stay for 4 days from the 25th-28th July.

They are lovely, we've had them to stay a few times before but it is so full on with the 2 young children and it's me constantly running around, tidying up, putting things away, making up the bedrooms etc. I just cannot face doing that at the moment and the thought of having to give up 4 days to entertain them all, especially in the evenings when all I want to be doing is nesting and relaxing makes me want to weep.

I said this to DH and he agreed and basically said to BIL that due to all of the above, it just won't be possible to have them to stay so close to my due date.

BIL didn't react well (which is unlike him) he said that this is the second time they've holidayed in the area (we live in a touristy area) and not been able to stay with us and that I'm being 'a bit precious' he said they're trying not to take offence but it's seeming like we just don't want to have them to stay. Apparently he has huffily just texted DH to say they've booked an air b n b now for those days here.

For context, they came down at Easter but we had no kitchen as it had been knocked out and we were waiting for the new one to be installed, the house was a building site and it really wasn't very safe for 2 young children, plus, we had no kitchen! It was bad enough us having to deal with that for 3 weeks, let alone add anyone else into the mix too! To be fair they were understanding that time and again, just booked into an air b n b.

I now feel really guilty that they feel we don't want them staying here, we saw a lot of them at Easter even though they weren't staying here and obviously we'll try and see them as much as possible this time too, even if it's more DH and me.

AIBU and overly precious as suggested? I'm just honestly in so much pain, so irritable and snappy and I just can't deal with the thought of having guests, especially those with 2, boisterous young children a week before my c section.

he said that this is the second time they've holidayed in the area (we live in a touristy area) and not been able to stay with us and that I'm being 'a bit precious' he said they're trying not to take offence but it's seeming like we just don't want to have them to stay.

I’d be asking DH to point out that they are free to choose when they holiday, and where, and you are free to choose if it’s convenient to invite them to stay, and when. And that on this occasion and the previous one you didn’t want them to stay - so you didn’t invite them. And you’re not sure when the next time you’ll want to invite anyone us, because you’re having a baby and not planning on much hosting - if any - for the foreseeable.

I wonder if BIL and his heathen savages ever get their Airbnb deposit back

i would never have them to stay again after all that

@ReadytoShip id get DH to tell his brother

1- Don’t be a knob, no-one invites themselves to the home of a heavily pregnant woman the week before she gives birth, let alone inviting 4 people!
2- it’s rude to invite yourself, wait for an invitation
😂

Ugh, even worse now that you’ve shared that they are a tribe of blatant over-ripe festering filth packets, & untidy with it.

Besides the imminent ick of that ilk, you have surgery planned for 2nd August & your DH is seriously thinking of letting this filthy pack of people into your home in the week or so before you are due on the ward?

Has the past two years taught him nothing about social distancing, basic hygiene & pre-op quarantine?

OP your BIL obviously assumed they had free holiday accommodation for life once you moved to your town!
That's why he's so sour about it.
I think you and your DH need to kindly and clearly say you won't be having overnight guests any more ( or at least for a year) until your baby is here, older, whatever.

You need to really push them to stay in an Airbnb which will hopefully put them off asking for free holidays at your house-which is what they’re doing, effectively. I cannot believe they think it”s ok to impose themselves on you when you’re due to give birth in a couple of weeks, it’s madness!

Set the precedent, OP, people can start booking airbnbs from now on.

After your last update, I wouldn't even let them in front door for a day visit, let alone stay over. They're disgusting.

BIL has now suggested that him, his wife and their 2 young children come to stay for 4 days from the 25th-28th July

How is that that in the very 1st instance, you didn't tell your DH to say No? Its his brother. Thats what I'd have done then not even given it further thought or conversation as it's such a silly idea anyway.

I think you need to talk to your husband and explain if his brothers family staying makes you totally completely miserable he has to respect that, NOT say but it’s my famileeeee. You’re his family. Tell him also that your baby’s routine will be the one that your family work around so if you do agree to let them come and your baby’s routine doesn’t mesh with their dc he had better have practiced saying ‘you guys do that, we will be going out after baby’s nap.’ ‘That doesn’t work for baby’s routine’ ‘I think we will need to just do the day separately’ etc, and if he can’t prioritise his wife and baby he can just go home with the in laws and stay there.

rhis whole set up would make me extremely miserable, except that I’d have said no. My pil when we were expecting ds2 end of may: we will do whatever suits you guys so we can come and stay start of may or end of may! Me: neither of those suit, it will be lovely to see you but it would have to be sometime from July onwards to have you stay.