Is there a way to say I just want to go on our own without sounding like a dick?

[FrillyBobs]

I share one DD (2) with DH who also has older (8) DSS with his ex.

We have DSS every weekend Thursday from school until until Sunday.

My parents are very close with DD and we like to see them quite often but as they work this can often only happen on the weekends because of this 99% of the time DH will want to come along with DSS and I feel like I never really get to spend time my parents with just DD.

They have asked if me, DD and my grandparents (who live a while away but are staying with them) can go out today.

WIBU to tell DH that I want to go with DD by myself today and is there anyway of saying that without sounding horrible?

My grandparents don't get to see DD often and I'd just like her to be the focus today. My parents would as well but they'd never outwardly say it to DH as they are too polite.

My DSS is a lovely boy but he is very full on and can misbehave a lot especially when we are out. He ends up with 99% of the attention whenever we go anywhere. I just don't want to deal with it today. In addition, he also has a hobby training today which means we couldn't go anywhere until after lunchtime.

well done OP! i agree with you FWIW! i would have wanted to spend time with my parents alone too

Well done, op. I'd just reiterate that although your parents do like to see dss, they also like to see you and your dd by yourselves too. It doesn't mean they don't like dss, just that the dynamic is different. He must be a bit dense or defensive if he can't understand this.

As a child, my (now ex) step mothers parents were kind and friendly and always got me Christmas gifts but never the same as the ones she got her biological grandchildren. This was fine, I understood and had loving maternal and paternal grandparents who spoiled me. When my dad divorced my ex step mother, I didn’t see her parents again. Why would I?! It’s not the same relationship and that’s ok. I had my own 2 sets of grandparents and having step mums parents be nice to me and slip me extra chocolate was an added bonus!

OP,

You are being deliberately controlled and bullied by a man who wants to avoid parenting his own child.

He had a perfect opportunity to prove otherwise yesterday but chose to do nothing.

I hope yesterday was a much needed wake up call for you.

Don't have regrets regarding your grandparents, in the future.
See them on your own .
A great grand child must be such a joy for them.

So many young women are targeted by lazy avoidant men, looking for a skivvy/ au pair for their child.

Is that you?

He couldn't be happy and understanding yesterday.

He had to be pissed off, argue with you and try to guilt you.

Not a good man.

I really hope the scales are falling from your eyes about this lazy, selfish, controlling man.

You deserve better.