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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Should a male teacher have done this?

873 replies

mycatisannoying · 01/07/2022 23:48

During a residential school trip, enter a girls' shared dorm to wake them up?
To my mind it's a safeguarding issue, and there was also a female teacher on the trip who could have done it.
I wanted to seek others' opinions before raising it.
Thanks.

OP posts:
Maireas · 04/07/2022 11:51

Lady088 · 04/07/2022 11:37

It may transpire that the teacher knocked and had no response and went in and called out to wake the girls up. Trying to get a group of teens up at 6:30 in the morning, isn’t easy. The female teacher may have been waking up other children, girls or boys so he was the only member of staff available.

Simple solution. He knocks on the door loudly and shouts. No response?
Get the female teacher. I really don't know why people think this is difficult.

LAtalante · 04/07/2022 11:52

Jesus Christ, chill out! It’s a room full of Girls not individual rooms?!

And? It's a room full of sleeping girls. He entered the room, against standard safeguarding protocols.

So he's right, because...?

EllysMom · 04/07/2022 11:52

I cannot see anything wrong with a responsible adult going into a room full of children and waking them up. The gender of that adult only comes into it if anything inappropriate has happened. Otherwise what is wrong with a male waking up a room of females. Is there any reason why this should be uncomfortable? Did the girls feel uncomfortable or is this just from your adult perspective?
The problem is not with ‘him’, it is what we know of other examples of males. Let’s not make it about ‘him’. Let’s not mistrust everyone and live life paranoid of each other’s potential actions.
A normal situation arose and no negative consequences came of it, and yet here you are rallying the troops to help justify your negative reaction. If nothing happened, and clearly it didn’t, why are you dwelling on it?

LAtalante · 04/07/2022 11:55

I cannot see anything wrong with a responsible adult going into a room full of children and waking them up

Luckily, most schools and institutions CAN see what's wrong with it, which is why they write protocols on safeguarding which the majority of teachers follow.

Nice use of 'adult' and 'children.' The fact that it is a MALE teacher and FEMALE children makes the world of difference. It's deliberately disingenuous to suggest otherwise.

LAtalante · 04/07/2022 11:58

If nothing happened, and clearly it didn’t, why are you dwelling on it?

Because not reporting incidents like this emboldens the male teacher to do it again. And again.

If he's a decent guy who made an innocent mistake, he simply won't do it again and he'll understand why a report was made - to protect teachers and pupils alike.

It's really, really obvious.

AryaStarkWolf · 04/07/2022 11:58

I don't see an issue with it if all he did was walk in and tell them to wake up, the phone thing is a bit odd though, why did he think she was using her phone?

Maireas · 04/07/2022 11:59

Well it is about him, @EllysMom, because he breached the safeguarding guidelines, and this has been explained many times on this thread. It doesn't necessarily mean he was ill intentioned, but at the very least he was careless, and it needs to be reported.
This is all about protection of children and the adults who care for them, and I am sure that you would rather we are over cautious than put anyone at risk.
Again, it's applicable to both sexes, no matter what orientation.

wellhelloitsme · 04/07/2022 12:02

Did the girls feel uncomfortable or is this just from your adult perspective?

Are people really just not reading OP's 10 posts? It's not that many to have a quick look at using the handy 'read all OP's posts' feature which is on both the app and desktop site...

It was my daughter who felt uncomfortable at him entering the room.

Lady088 · 04/07/2022 12:08

Maireas · 04/07/2022 11:51

Simple solution. He knocks on the door loudly and shouts. No response?
Get the female teacher. I really don't know why people think this is difficult.

Because maybe it was not possible to get the female teacher to go into the room, she may have been waking up others or supervising breakfast, should he have just let them be late and miss breakfast and the activities? When my child was on a residential, the children had to be up, have breakfast ready for the activities to start which were early.

wellhelloitsme · 04/07/2022 12:08

Let’s not mistrust everyone and live life paranoid of each other’s potential actions.

Safeguarding principles aren't written with the assumption everyone is bad.

They're written with the assumption that because some people are bad, it's sensible to mitigate risk where possible.

Both the risk to children being harmed or feeling unsafe and the risk to adults of being accused of wrongdoing.

Those who say he was wrong to enter the girls' room are simply saying he didn't follow safeguarding protocol and that was wrong of him.

Teachers have safeguarding policies drummed into them so he needs to be reminded of them in order to protect himself and in order to respect guidelines designed to also keep children safe.

Men arent allowed into single sex women's toilets. That isn't because all men are dangerous, it's to mitigate the risk posed by the minority who are dangerous.

I don't understand why people are taking safeguarding policies as an insult to individuals. The whole point is that they apply across the board (in this case the same rules apply to men and women) to mitigate the risk presented by a minority of people.

It's not a difficult concept...

PurpleWisteria · 04/07/2022 12:08

LAtalante · 04/07/2022 11:50

People are just making things up. I hope MN issues a few bans to the paranoid

Aye. That's how MN works.

Try again. And maybe spend less time trying to defend a male teacher entering a room of sleeping girls. Because he's in the wrong, and anyone with a scrap of commons sense and normal boundaries can see that.

You lot, on the other hand...

Except I haven't defended him. There you go making things up.

334bu · 04/07/2022 12:09

Wouldn't matter if they were comfortable with him in the room. He is a professional who should know that entering a roomful of sleeping adolescent girls is not appropriate.

Maireas · 04/07/2022 12:11

Lady088 · 04/07/2022 12:08

Because maybe it was not possible to get the female teacher to go into the room, she may have been waking up others or supervising breakfast, should he have just let them be late and miss breakfast and the activities? When my child was on a residential, the children had to be up, have breakfast ready for the activities to start which were early.

I have no idea. I've taken many school trips in nearly 40 years of teaching and we've never had that problem. We've organised it. We've got them up and out.
So, it's really not about missing breakfast and missing activities. That never happens. It's about safeguarding and there are no mitigating circumstances.

LAtalante · 04/07/2022 12:18

Except I haven't defended him. There you go making things up

Yeah, yeah. People can read.

Lady088 · 04/07/2022 12:19

Maireas · 04/07/2022 12:11

I have no idea. I've taken many school trips in nearly 40 years of teaching and we've never had that problem. We've organised it. We've got them up and out.
So, it's really not about missing breakfast and missing activities. That never happens. It's about safeguarding and there are no mitigating circumstances.

But if another female teacher wasn’t available to wake them up and the male teacher didn’t go in and call out to get ready then what would have happened?
Also what about the boys, do you think they should have a female teacher enter their room? What if they also had to wait for the male teacher to be available, surely this would complicate things?
Does this safe-guarding policy also affect male/female teachers when they have a class full of children getting dressed for pe?

LAtalante · 04/07/2022 12:23

But if another female teacher wasn’t available to wake them up and the male teacher didn’t go in and call out to get ready then what would have happened?

Why are people asking such ridiculous questions?

You bang on the door and yell at them to wake up. Like in real life, all the time.

Maireas · 04/07/2022 12:26

To answer some of your questions, @Lady088. Organising these residentials is like a military operation. Seriously. You have do risk assessments and you have to follow safeguarding rules.
You organise the day and give times. The morning calls are done outside the door by shouting at increasing volume and irritation. If anyone needs to go inside the room it's a person of the appropriate gender after knocking and announcing themselves. You never get so ridiculously badly organised that you need to break safeguarding.
You can get further details about PE lessons etc from your children's schools. (If you are a parent)

wellhelloitsme · 04/07/2022 12:31

Also what about the boys, do you think they should have a female teacher enter their room?

As many, many, many people have pointed out on the thread, the safeguarding rule applies to female teachers and male students too.

The exact same rule as male teachers and female students.

This is not a war on men, it's a safeguarding basic applied equally to both sexes.

So many people have pointed out it also applies to female teachers and male students that I can only think you haven't read many of the posts on this thread at all.

Does this safe-guarding policy also affect male/female teachers when they have a class full of children getting dressed for pe?

If they're changing, then yes.

But if another female teacher wasn’t available to wake them up and the male teacher didn’t go in and call out to get ready then what would have happened?

It is highly unlikely, almost impossible, that if the door was banged on and the male teacher shouted loudly, that none of the girls would have woken up and responded.

Lily071 · 04/07/2022 12:32

Ok, so you prefer sarcasm to being informed about legislation. If this was referred to me as a Local
Authority Designated Officer (LADO), it would not meet threshold. clearly you have issues & want to make something out of nothing!

CupidStunt22 · 04/07/2022 12:37

EllysMom · 04/07/2022 11:52

I cannot see anything wrong with a responsible adult going into a room full of children and waking them up. The gender of that adult only comes into it if anything inappropriate has happened. Otherwise what is wrong with a male waking up a room of females. Is there any reason why this should be uncomfortable? Did the girls feel uncomfortable or is this just from your adult perspective?
The problem is not with ‘him’, it is what we know of other examples of males. Let’s not make it about ‘him’. Let’s not mistrust everyone and live life paranoid of each other’s potential actions.
A normal situation arose and no negative consequences came of it, and yet here you are rallying the troops to help justify your negative reaction. If nothing happened, and clearly it didn’t, why are you dwelling on it?

I don't know about you, but I prefer to think about childrens safety BEFORE anything inappropriate happens. You seem to be ok with anything and sure we'll sort it out afterwards.

I hope you have no roles with children.

Lily071 · 04/07/2022 12:39

Yes really 😂😂😂 I work as a Local
Authority Designated Officer (LADO) As such I deal with allegations against persons in a position of trust of children. LADO procedures are in line with the Children Act 1989 & a lot of other procedures which from your comment it is pointless listing them as you are clearly ignorant. Another on here that wants to make something out of nothing; how sad

Lily071 · 04/07/2022 12:44

How ignorant & disrespectful you are; pathetic. You like so many on this thread just want to make something out of nothing. Go & educate yourself & look up what a Local Authority Designated Officer does

HebeMumsnet · 04/07/2022 12:44

Afternoon, everyone. We've had a lot of reports on this thread. Given that the OP hasn't been back for a couple of days now and there's been a lot of name-calling and disagreement in the latter parts of the thread, we think the useful conversation has come to an end here. We're going to close the thread to new posts now. Thank you to everyone who contributed with advice and opinions for the OP.

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