Should a male teacher have done this?

[mycatisannoying]

During a residential school trip, enter a girls' shared dorm to wake them up?
To my mind it's a safeguarding issue, and there was also a female teacher on the trip who could have done it.
I wanted to seek others' opinions before raising it.
Thanks.

@LAtalante I agree that this appears to be organised. They're even stuck on using the same terms.

This wouldn’t bother me at all, doesn’t matter if it’s a fellas or male Teacher as long as they’re not doing anything inappropriate which they obviously weren’t!

We had 3 male staff and 7 females, males generally did the stuff in boys rooms, females tended to stick to male rooms. There was a crisis when one boy had lost one of his trainers and everyone was lined up ready for an activity - i went in to his room to help him look for it.
one time a toilet in the girls room was blocked. A male teacher went in there to sort it out. Whoever is closest generally deals with it.
We are all just doing our best and trying to make sure times were kept to strictly so yes, we had times where female adults were in boys rooms and male adults in girls rooms, but the waking ups consisted of knocking the door and either waiting to be let in by someone already awake or knocking, listening for a sound, opening the door and calling, asking permission to come in and then walking in to open curtains and shout a cheery good morning, time to wake up etc.
It’s common sense really and more than our jobs are worth to be doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.
The ratios of adults to children is always tight (ours was high but we had a number of 1:1 children/adults), there’s still never enough adults on hand!
I don’t see an issue with a male teacher doing as we did for wake up calls, there were adults everywhere and 4 children to a room, it’s not like the teacher in question went in to one girl in bed on her own with no one else present.
i haven’t read the full thread, maybe one of the other children has since corroborated a story where the teacher acted in an inappropriate fashion in their bedroom and I’ve not seen it yet!

A male teacher entered a bedroom full of young girls presumably in pyjamas (period), with or without warning is completely irrelevant, with or without invitation is irrelevant (how many teenagers would invited a teacher to come into their bedroom?!). He had no business being inside if they were only waking up as it is logic to infer they wouldn't be wearing proper clothes but pyjamas. Not many people go to bed wearing jeans and sweaters.
You're all clutching at straws and trying to excuse this weird behaviour.

I actually think this is a valid point, despite your criticism. Female teachers are equally capable of overstepping the mark so it's ignorant to assume only men can do wrong. Perhaps considering the other side of the coin might help you and your daughter understand if your concerns are valid?

As a male teacher I wouldn't have gone near it (too many parents and kids that might make a situation out of it) however as a parent it wouldn't have bothered me. Your example of his poor decision making, at this point, isn't enough to make me question him.

However if my daughter was genuinely upset by it then that would probably make me say something to the school in a constructive way.

The powers that be should put a stop to this thread and stop allowing people to post. This isn't going to get much better. Now they're saying they work in schools and they do it too. Next they're going to say it's normal to pat girls on the bum and tuck their hair behind the ear! Call the 👮

I think its basic safeguarding & you're absolutely right to be concerned. It should not have happened. A female teacher in a male dorm be equally unacceptable.

@LimaCharlieHotelPapa

Where has a single poster said "only men can do wrong"?

another student may have opened the door and allowed the teacher to enter the room. Yet the daughter just doesn’t agree with the fact. Or maybe just maybe the daughter is saying that they feel uncomfortable to get the teacher in trouble for nothing other then the fact she’s pissed about the phone situation

Why all the maybe...maybe...maybes?

Why invent a whole other version of events to the one the OP has given? A student opened the door, now?

The knots that people are prepared to tie themselves into in order to absolve the male teacher of responsibility and land the blame at the door of a child is fairly unsavoury, to say the least.

It won't be the first time that a child is branded a liar for trying to call out male behaviour, and it won't be the last.

She didn't - but she did dismiss the question in quite a scornful way, like the response wasn't relevant to the conversation. And, actually, it is, for precisely the reason I gave.

All teachers have had DBS checks and are probably parents themselves. I would have no qualms about a male teacher going into a girls room and waking them up. I am sure he knew they were in bed and not in state of undress. If you felt uncomfortable with this you shouldnt have sent your girl on the trip. Teachers are always asking for pupils to let them know if another pupil is doing something they shouldn't. I am sorry but its about doing the right thing. I am sure your daughter was doing the usual 'misbehaving ' that girls do and it will more than likely be nothing serious. Teacher just wanted to stay on top of things. .

If your daughter and her friends were genuinely uncomfortable about a male teacher entering their room, they have the right to say so and be heard. So, without accusing the teacher of wrong doing, telling the school that the girls found this uncomfortable is 100% the right thing to do. And the school can make sure they have a female teacher wake the girls in future. Job done. No one has done anything wrong it seems, but rather it’s just an oversight.

when my kids go away, the male teachers are with the boys and the female with the girls.

i would however say the code word is seriously weird. Maybe that’s what goes on at high school, my kids aren’t quite 13, but seems to me that is the issue. Is that not singling out your daughter and almost bullying or witch hunt, I don’t know, just weird. Why was he so hung up on the idea your daughter had a phone?

you cannot accuse the teacher of doing anything inappropriate in the dorm, unless someone has said he did. But, I think it is right to tell the school that 13 year old girls don’t like a male teacher in their dorm.

My kids’ schools would not have an issue with that feedback.

It’s not ok! Why couldn’t a female teacher of done the wake up normally female teachers would look after the girls and males the boys. I had a creepy teacher like this in primary school- on a camping trip came into the girls shower rooms- decade later he was in the newspapers for online grooming of underage girls. I’d report it

This thread has gone totally bonkers!

I am sure he knew they were in bed and not in state of undress.
How? How would he know? X-ray vision...? A crystal ball? Tarot cards? Wait, I know! It came to him in a wet dream!

I agree. A concerted effort.

Mumsnet is weird at times.

posters saying a male teacher who possibly put his head round a door to wake a group of girls is a safeguarding issue.

yet tomorrow posters will say it’s ok for a trans girl to sleep in the same room as a group of girls. Same issue. Males in female rooms.

Re your second example, nope. Based on my experience on MN, the majority of posters (not all, obviously) would say the opposite to what you've suggested they would when it comes to any natal male sharing a room with girls - most would say this was also a safeguarding risk and shouldn't be allowed by schools / organisations.

Iliveonahill

that’s not true. the small collection of nutcases on this thread justifying a male walking into a girls’ bedroom will be the small collection of nutcases on the thread you mention saying trans girls should be able to share with girls.

posters saying a male teacher who possibly put his head round a door to wake a group of girls is a safeguarding issue

Another attempt to make up a lame, pro-male version of events.

Admirable.

Ex-teacher here.

Only a weird male teacher would go into a girls' room, especially if there are female staff available to do it.

Those trying to normalise this need to have a think about their boundaries and revisit their understanding of safeguarding.

The OP doesn't know the full phone story and doesn't know the full story about them being woken up. The school can find out because that's their job. With his safeguarding training I doubt very much that he entered that room . Pissed off 13 year old exaggerate about their teachers every day to distract from what they have done wrong. It's always the teacher's fault, just as at home it's always the parent's fault. Thankfully there are 13 girls, so the truth will out whatever he did- step into the room or not . It seriously isn't worth teacher's taking kids on trips these days.

You think his behaviour has been entirely appropriate. I don't. It's simply not normal for a teacher to encourage others to snitch on a classmate who has done nothing wrong. And the code word, WTF?

@mycatisannoying if you have such a concern about him encouraging snitching in your daughter, why is your entire OP about the irrelevant fact of him waking up the dormitory?
how are these two things related?

it honestly reads as if you’re trying to insinuate he’s some kind Of pervert because you’re annoyed about the mobile phone issue. It’s pretty clear that’s actually what’s bothering you rather than the waking up issue.

your attempt to smear him as a potential predator because he’s annoyed you/reprimanded your child about phone use is deeply unpleasant.

Yup. Ulterior motives here.