Page 2 | Should a male teacher have done this?

mycatisannoying · 2022-07-01T22:48:43+00:00

During a residential school trip, enter a girls' shared dorm to wake them up? To my mind it's a safeguarding issue, and there was also a female teacher on the trip who could have done it. I wanted to seek others' opinions before raising it. Thanks.

GirlDownUnder22 · 02/07/2022 00:02

It's a perfectly legitimate question. What's the difference if a female woke a dorm full of boys? None at all.

Original poster

mycatisannoying · 02/07/2022 00:02

Popsicle33 · 02/07/2022 00:00

It sounds like you're looking for something to be outraged about. I'm sure he didn't go in and pull their blankets off.

I thought my OP was fairly measured, with no outrage in evidence.

OP posts:

User3568975431146 · 02/07/2022 00:03

You seem to be thinking about this along the lines of a news headline in The Sun or the like instead of the reality.

There's not a problem with this, leave the poor guy alone.

Nesbo · 02/07/2022 00:03

So you’re unhappy about something completely different but picking on an issue where you feel you might be able to make him more vulnerable. Ok.

Scottishskifun · 02/07/2022 00:04

Not a safe guarding issue if he just went in put the light on and told them to wake up. Different if he pulled blankets off etc but it doesn't sound like that at all.

It sounds like your looking for an excuse because you don't like the phone accusation he made.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 02/07/2022 00:05

There's a whole group of girls in their PJs in a room together, no I wouldn't find it off that a male teacher woke them. Ask a male teacher I wouldn't want to do it for this exact reason.

BattenburgDonkey · 02/07/2022 00:06

His poor judgement…. OR your 13 year old was misbehaving a bit on the trip, got pulled up on it, and is now making her teacher out to be a bully and a creep. Either could be true, but 13 year olds do tend to lie when they’ve done something wrong. Before trying to ruin the guys job why not approach the school and ask about your daughters behaviour to get both sides? She may not have taken a phone but it doesn’t mean nobody else’s did and she wasn’t holding one, whilst refusing to rat out a friend.

Pippa12 · 02/07/2022 00:07

Unless he was inappropriate with the children I’d have no problem with this, for example pulling off their duvets.

What is it he’s likely going to do with a room full of witnesses?

Wouldn't be a teacher for all the tea in China!

Original poster

mycatisannoying · 02/07/2022 00:08

BattenburgDonkey · 02/07/2022 00:06

His poor judgement…. OR your 13 year old was misbehaving a bit on the trip, got pulled up on it, and is now making her teacher out to be a bully and a creep. Either could be true, but 13 year olds do tend to lie when they’ve done something wrong. Before trying to ruin the guys job why not approach the school and ask about your daughters behaviour to get both sides? She may not have taken a phone but it doesn’t mean nobody else’s did and she wasn’t holding one, whilst refusing to rat out a friend.

Who said anything about ruining his job? To my mind, this isn't something a male teacher should have done, but it seems I'm in the minority and that's fine!

OP posts:

spirit20 · 02/07/2022 00:09

What exactly happened that makes you feel it's inappropriate?

I'm a teacher who often goes on trips. I'll knock on the door of each room, regardless of gender, wait until someone answers and then walk in (not that far) to the room to tell pupils it's time to get up. Teachers of both genders do the same.

If it's something like that, then sorry, but YABU. Pupils are told in advance that they all need to be 'decently dressed' when answering the door.

We stay in hostels with rooms of 4-6 pupils on multiple floors. Do you expect a team of one male and one female staff to go together to wake pupils up depending on the gender of the room?

If he walked in and close to their beds, and watched them while they were changing or getting out of bed, then that would of course be different, but somehow I don't think this was the case here...

LondonQueen · 02/07/2022 00:09

If he just opened the door and turned the lights on there's no issue. I woke up a dorm full of boys and didn't think twice about it. You wouldn't be asking this if a female teacher had woken your DS up.

vandertable · 02/07/2022 00:10

Sorry, this reads as though you have an issue with a teacher because he questioned your daughter's use of a mobile phone, and are testing out on here whether you can realistically report him for something tenuous that would be far more serious (potentially career/life ending) and completely unrelated?

Do you have any evidence that anything inappropriate happened? And if so how? Were you on the trip?

Runnerbeansflower · 02/07/2022 00:11

Scottishskifun · 02/07/2022 00:04

Not a safe guarding issue if he just went in put the light on and told them to wake up. Different if he pulled blankets off etc but it doesn't sound like that at all.

It sounds like your looking for an excuse because you don't like the phone accusation he made.

Exactly.

If the issue is the accusation about the phone why did you bring the 'waking up the girls while male ' into it?

CornishGem1975 · 02/07/2022 00:12

Nope. Wouldn't be of any concern to me.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/07/2022 00:12

Runnerbeansflower · 02/07/2022 00:00

Why? Please explain

Show quote history

I can't be bothered to explain the entire patriarchy to you. How girls are sexualised in school uniform, how they are sexually harassed in the same. How there is a rape a week in schools in the UK, how one sex is constantly judged on what they wear and how slutty and/or prudish it is, how many men are sexually attracted to underage children, how 90+% of sex offences are by men.

If you honestly don't understand why good men should be a little bit careful around girls' privacy and dignity, you haven't been listening. Fortunately most men know and act accordingly.

I'd expect one same sex adult to wake from the doorway while there is another in the corridor. All safe as houses.

TeapotTitties · 02/07/2022 00:14

Are you going to tell us exactly how he woke them up OP?

vipersnest1 · 02/07/2022 00:15

I've had to knock and open the doors to the boys' toilets in my job (I'm a woman).
I've never once looked in there to see what's going on, only just to ask what they're doing, and to suggest that they hurry up .
If it was in fact that he was only trying to rouse them from their sleep and get them ready to start their day, I can't see the problem

PupInAPram · 02/07/2022 00:16

This is why teachers are less and less willing to do residentials. They don't get paid extra for being on duty 24/7 and it's such a risk for them.

Deadringer · 02/07/2022 00:16

Well op, did he put his head around the door and tell them to get up, or did he creep around the room whisking their blankets off them? It matters.

Runnerbeansflower · 02/07/2022 00:17

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/07/2022 00:12

I can't be bothered to explain the entire patriarchy to you. How girls are sexualised in school uniform, how they are sexually harassed in the same. How there is a rape a week in schools in the UK, how one sex is constantly judged on what they wear and how slutty and/or prudish it is, how many men are sexually attracted to underage children, how 90+% of sex offences are by men.

If you honestly don't understand why good men should be a little bit careful around girls' privacy and dignity, you haven't been listening. Fortunately most men know and act accordingly.

I'd expect one same sex adult to wake from the doorway while there is another in the corridor. All safe as houses.

Show quote history

I get all of that.

I don't get the connection between that and a male teacher respectfully (as outlined above, knocking on door, waiting until it is opened and then putting his head round the door to say it's time to get up) telling a dorm of girls that it's time to get up.

HOW he did it is the crucial factor here, just as it would be with a female teacher (unless you believe no woman could be inappropriate or abusive)

WindowsSmindows · 02/07/2022 00:18

Totally agree, good men know all this- their behavior has to be impeccable because their sex class can't be trusted.
Op if I was you I would complain about his accusing her and using the other kids to monitor and police her behavior- that's nasty.

Ottersmith · 02/07/2022 00:20

If he thinks that's ok then he clearly doesn't know much about safeguarding. The female teacher should have done it. And for those asking if it would be different If it was a female teacher, well yes! Because 99% of sex crimes are committed by men.

Runnerbeansflower · 02/07/2022 00:21

WindowsSmindows · 02/07/2022 00:18

Totally agree, good men know all this- their behavior has to be impeccable because their sex class can't be trusted.
Op if I was you I would complain about his accusing her and using the other kids to monitor and police her behavior- that's nasty.

Would you make a similar statement about a 'race class' or a 'sexuality class'?

Smileyaxolotl1 · 02/07/2022 00:22

mycatisannoying

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all.
I would not expect a male person to enter a room of girls who may be half asleep or half undressed at all.

and for those asking about whether it would be different if it were the other sexes, just a reminder that over 90% of sexual assaults are carried out by males. However I would strongly suggest that it should be a man who goes into the boys dorm to wake them up too.

i don’t see why knocking on the door wouldn’t be enough though in either case and obviously that could be done by either sex.

Tigertigertigertiger · 02/07/2022 00:23

I think it’s fine