To ask, if you have adult DC, do you still spend a lot of money on them?

[QwestionThyme]

I.e. when you're out will you buy their food, treat them to things ect.. or do you not really spend much money on your adult DC now? (By adult I don't mean 18 year old, but like adult 20s +, maybe married, own kids)

And if you have grandchildren do you spend a lot of money on them too?

Just to add it was the other way round with my parents! We paid for them to go on holiday and paid for their meals if they came out with us.

I guess so long as these parents are not going without themselves in order to fund treats for their thirty, forty, fifty year old offspring it’s ok.

as I say I do think things are a bit skewed on here though as lots of people I know wouldn’t be able to comfortably afford both

Oh gosh I've been teasing a lot of "my kids are 20 something" I'm 44 and my parents still pay for things. I don't ask them to be fair and when we were more well off I mostly said no.

Over 25% of pensioners are millionaires thanks to housing and occupational pensions.

There are a lot of parents in a position to help who are far wealthier than their children will ever be.

@Porridgeislife source?

www.telegraph.co.uk/pensions-retirement/news/number-millionaire-pensioners-quadruples/

@Porridgeislife

so one in every four pensioners is a millionaire?

lol

i don’t think

Some of you are extremely fortunate. My dm stopped looking after me from the age of 18/19 when I got my first part time job. I bought my travel card, clothes, holidays, toiletries- everything I needed. I did however have a roof over my head and food on the table, a gift at Christmas and birthdays.

No meals out, holidays, mobile bill payments, savings for dc - as a result I am overly self sufficient and struggle to accept even the smallest of gifts from people.

And 15% of pensioners live in relative poverty.

DH and I are semi-retired and have had good jobs and therefore the money to spend on our children and we enjoy doing it. We are financially well prepared for a 'hopefully' long old age. We wouldn't do it if we could not afford it.
DH and I are both from working class backgrounds and supported each other through university. My mum died when I was two and we never had any support from our parents. I am just so happy to be in a position to help and support our DC.

I am the adult DC in this scenario.

My parents still insist on paying if we go out for lunch or dinner. They buy DH and I "stuff for the house" instead of birthday and Christmas gifts. We both have our birthdays within a fortnight of Christmas - in recent years our gifts have included a new sofa, a new washer/dryer and a fridge freezer.

We're very fortunate but I'm also an only child and my parents both had high-paying careers (now retired) and they would rather spend their money on useful things for us rather than just have it sitting in a bank account.

DH's parents don't give us money/gifts but they do look after the dog for us while we work which saves us around £200 a month in doggy daycare. Any suggestion that they don't have the dog is met by abject horror, though - they love him and spoil him rotten

I cannot take it with me so best to give it away rather than pay inheritance tax.

That’s sad but doesn’t change the fact that there’s a lot of wealthy parents getting about. The Intergenerational Wealth Foundation further estimate that over half of all pensioners have net assets over £500k, up from 25% in 2008.

I’m in my late 40s so my child is just a young teen. My parent tends to be very generous at Christmas though.

We tend to pick up the bill if we go out with my Mum. My Dad bought me a washing machine once, but in general we have always had to stand on our own two feet.

Many moons ago we were destitute and couldn't afford to feed our kids. My millionaire inlaws lent us £300 but insisted we pay it back in two installments in the next two months which just made us even poorer so we never asked again.

We hope to be able to help our children in future, but will not just be giving handouts for the sake of it. We will expect our kids to earn, and move out and set up their own lives financially free of us.

Over 25% of pensioners are millionaires thanks to housing and occupational pensions.

The majority of that wealth is only released when the property is sold though.

Yep, I help them both. They are late twenties and early thirties. I earn an average wage and am a single parent. I buy them a meal out and coffee often, pay for days out and movie trips and pay for everything over Christmas. I have paid for them to come on holiday with me as adults. I pay for my daughter's car service and mot. They've also both needed to come home and live rent free for a while due to personal problems and traumas. I give them money on birthdays and Christmas. I've not seen a penny from their dad since my daughter was 16. They rent and I am now mortgage free. I call it the boomer tax. Their dad has never given them anything. I'm proud that I give them whatever I can.

We aren’t rich, but have more disposable income than my dd we buy all dgd’s clothing/shoes/uniform paid for nappies/formula when they were babies & paid for two days nursery fees (had dgd the other day dd was working) & will do the same for younger dgd, it gives me so much pleasure I’d rather starve than see my grandchildren or dc’s go without, we didn’t have much when they were children so I suppose I’m making up for it now, we always pay when we go out for a meal we also pay for holidays, my dd & her Dh are very grateful for the help we give, my Ds doesn’t have a partner or children I treat him to clothes & we paid off his car loan if he did have children I would do exactly the same as I do for dd.

I was my Dads baby right up until the day he died when I was forty four, I feel the same about my children, they are my family & I will do all I can to make life a bit easier & bit less stressful.

Plus that wealth is going to be tapped into in the next decade or so. The falling birth rate & ageing population means we need much more tax.

Jeez....she's never going to learn much about self sufficiency is she!

Never pay for adult DS when we go out.

@PupInAPram

why do you pay all that for them for when they may well put earn you? Especially if they have a partner?

Spend some money on yourself, treat youself!

My DC are in their twenties and early thirties. We always treat them to meals out etc. and buy things for the grandchildren. we’ve paid off the mortgage and are not big spenders on holidays and cars. You can’t take it with you as a pp said. It gives us a lot of pleasure to help them out and treat them, they all work hard but are not that well paid. My parents used to do the same for me when I had young kids.

@Regretsandregrets

“My daughter lives with me. 32 years old and in a decent job. I pay for all house bills and groceries. She has an additional credit card on my account and I encourage her to use it and save whatever she earns. I have gifted her more than 100k over the last 10 years and I was a middle- range earner, very recently retired.“

why the fuck do you do all that?! Just why? Your daughter is utterly infantilised and pampered.

@Regretsandregrets

at 32 she needs to move out and stop having her food bought for her by mummy