To ask, if you have adult DC, do you still spend a lot of money on them?

[QwestionThyme]

I.e. when you're out will you buy their food, treat them to things ect.. or do you not really spend much money on your adult DC now? (By adult I don't mean 18 year old, but like adult 20s +, maybe married, own kids)

And if you have grandchildren do you spend a lot of money on them too?

I don't spend a lot of money on my adult children now that they're all living away from home, although my youngest daughter still needs a bit of financial input from time to time, but when I see them I always pick up the bill for meals and activities. My parents do the same for me unless I specify in advance that I'm paying, and even then they'll be like, "Are you sure we can't get this?" Having always just accepted that money flows down the generations, it came as a shock to discover that my DH's father believed himself entitled to sponge off his children despite having a decent pension income.

I buy small things for my adult dc pretty regularly, I also invite them for meals and bake cakes and cookies for them to take home. I look after dgs two or three days a week so regularly but things for him to play with here. He's also got me sussed at just three so will say "Gangan tell Amazon man baby boy needs a new sticker book/ another jigsaw/more pens" so I buy his wants as well. His latest thing is to walk in and say "Gangan you knew I was coming, have you made a cake? I take it home later" So I bake to his requests as well.

Not yet but we will when we can..can’t imagine sitting on any wealth like a hen on an egg when we could see the benefit to our children while alive

we rarely are able to treat ourselves and tend to when parents insist and invite us out which is much appreciated

I think we take it in turns, to a certain extent. I would generally pay for DS and partner if they came over here and we were going out for a meal. If I was over at theirs for the weekend and we went out, I expect DS would pay for us all. To be honest, he and his partner seriously out earn us anyway.

Same with DD2 and partner. Their joint income will exceed mine, but we tend to take it in turns. DD1 is single and struggling a bit and so I always pay for us both and occasionally help out financially, but she doesn't like asking. No grandchildren.

I am 48. My parents still don’t let me pay for meals and things when we go out.

Yes we do, 3 dc in their 20’s. Pay for meals when we go out, items of furniture they need, rent deposits, car services, that kind of thing. I’m aware they have it much harder than we did at their age. Generous at Christmas and birthdays.

Ideally we would give them house deposits, but x 3 I’m not sure how much we could give them. We are trying to set our funds up for our retirement within the next 10 years and getting that all in place.

My parents still treat me and I'm in my 40s. Not huge amounts of money (they aren't well off) and I always offer but if we go out for a meal they'll pay and for the last couple of years they've paid for accomodation when I've been on holiday with them which is really good of them.

I dont get any financial support from my parents, I left home at 18 and have been financially independent ever since, my DB on the other hand gets help left right and centre, DM has recently lent him, then wrote off a £5k loan and my DN is spoilt rotten.....yeah im probably a bit jealous!

Absoluteyl I do- and it gives me pleasure.
I was chucked out out of the house at 18 and things were really hard as a young adult.
I am happy to help my adult kids

Yes all the time.
Just given 5k to one dd for her wedding.
Pay some bills for the younger one. My mum and dad helped me so it's in the family.

Yes, yes and yes.

Yes. We furnished one of the dc house, pay bills when they are short, buy anything dgc needs.
I wouldn’t dream of inviting them out for a meal/day out and expecting them to pay.

We do it because we can but also because we want to. We don’t want them to struggle or go without.

Yes, I do and DD1 is 18. My mum and dad still treat me.

Yes, as much as they will let us.

They both work hard but still don't have much spare. We're fortunate we do so we like to share with them. They're still my kids.

DD2 is almost 21, lives at home & is in education so I still pay for her in the same way I always have.

DD1 is almost 23 & has just had a baby. I always pay for food etc when we're out & I'll tell her to chuck her stuff up with mine when we're out shopping & buying from the same shop. Now that DGS is here I put a tub of formula/pack of nappies/other baby items in with my weekly shop for her - I'd forgotten how expensive babies are!

I always spend far too much quite a bit at Christmas but have told DD1 that now she has a baby she'll get less (she most likely will get the same in all honesty).

Yes, but I'm trying to wean them now. I always pay when we go out, generally have a holiday together once a year and I pay their fares when they visit (different country). I'm retired now and can't do it any longer.

I had it so much easier than them, free university, bought my first place on my own at 22, well paid job, company car. They work hard but pay out half their take home pay in rent.

I'm old and my parents still buy me stuff and my DC stuff. They offer we don't ask. DD now calls them behind my back with suggestions which are often dismissed by my DM as she's no pushover I love her for that

My older DC message if they are short and my parents help them out.

My daughter lives with me. 32 years old and in a decent job. I pay for all house bills and groceries. She has an additional credit card on my account and I encourage her to use it and save whatever she earns. I have gifted her more than 100k over the last 10 years and I was a middle- range earner, very recently retired.

My parents do for me and my sister - she's 41, I'm 39!!!

Christ. She's never moving out and standing on her own two feet.

I'm 37 and my Parents still won't let us pay if we go out for a meal. They have also paid for us all to go on holiday together which is lovely. If they take our DC out for the day I will always make sure they have spending money but my parents won't hear of it, they like to treat them. They were skint when I was little but have worked hard all their lives and are now financially comfortable. Whenever DH and I try to pay for anyting they always say "what did we work for all those years if we can't even treat our children/grandchildren?" I hope to do the same for my own DC and GC one day.

My parents (& in laws) are very generous & pay for lots for us. We’re very lucky.

They are wealthy so not going without for us - we wouldn’t accept anything in that case.

Tbh most of what they give us we put straight into savings for the dc. We will pay for uni, house deposits etc in that way for them, just as our parents have for us.

Why though? She's way into adulthood and being treated like a child . Do you really think this is of benefit to her?

We couldn't afford to do it when they were young - financially it was a real struggle at times - so now they are adults and we can afford a bit more, we do. It isn't all one way though, they treat us as well. We do go a bit overboard with dgs, but he is at an age where even a small gift (small pack of chocolate buttons etc) is a huge treat.