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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband left me with 8 week old baby and toddler to go to Glastonbury

190 replies

eeemilyeee · 30/06/2022 10:49

AIBU to be angry at my husband for going to Glastonbury (Fri-Mon) when we have an 8 week old and a toddler? I made it clear before the baby was born that I didn't want him to leave us for four days. He's a great husband and father usually but I just can't get over the fact he went against my wishes and left me "holding the baby".

OP posts:
loislovesstewie · 30/06/2022 11:18

I was always very good at guilt-tripping my DH, this would be one of those occasions.

JenniferPlantain · 30/06/2022 11:34

I assume you are now planning a lovely long spa weekend alone?

YRGAM · 30/06/2022 11:44

YABU. If he's 'a great dad and father ' you really don't want to set the precedent of oneupmanship and score keeping in your relationship. This kind of thing chips away at the love that holds a relationship together.

Hallyup89 · 30/06/2022 11:45

Goodness me, surely you can cope with two children?!

StaplesCorner · 30/06/2022 11:53

If he got the ticket months ago, discussed it with you, arranged to meet others, then I think (although not ideal) unless you are struggling or not well then he could go (and clearly he did go). However, if he only told you when the baby was born and you said please don't do this I can't cope and he said fuck you I'm off -then you have big problems.

Which is it?

Nanny0gg · 30/06/2022 12:11

If it's the OP I think it is, there wasn't plenty of notice at all, it was all last minute and most posters didn't understand how he got a ticket?

Whichever, I am sick of men's lives not having to change when the woman's totally has and she's left doing it all.

KangarooKenny · 30/06/2022 12:12

YABVU. It’s not up to you to make anything clear, you are a married couple who should be able to discuss/agree/compromise, marriage is not a dictatorship.

Somethingsnappy · 30/06/2022 12:12

How's it been since he returned?

MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 30/06/2022 12:13

Depends on how much advance notice you had or whether it was sprung upon you.

cestlavielife · 30/06/2022 12:16

Book your long weejend away now for next year andleaVe him to it.

Viviennemary · 30/06/2022 12:20

Why shouldn't he get a break. But you should have your turn too.

GoodThinkingMax · 30/06/2022 12:22

So when are you taking away from your family responsibilities,@eeemilyeee ? I think you should start planning a really nice few days away for about the same cost as a Glastonbury ticket.

And brook no debate from your DH.

Amichelle84 · 30/06/2022 12:23

We're all different but it wouldn't have bothered me, I'd have encouraged him to go and enjoy himself for a few days but also be prepared to give me a day off once he's back.

He's been waiting since 2019 to go.

GoodThinkingMax · 30/06/2022 12:24

And I'm really surprised at all the posters excusing the DH. He's behaved as if he had no family, or commitments.

kisaki333 · 30/06/2022 12:25

springisaroundthecorner · 30/06/2022 10:51

It's only a few days. Let him enjoy the festival

How come he gets to enjoy something and the mom doesn't?! And for 4 days?????

I'd change the locks while he was gone if he did that to me especially if I asked him not to go...

CallOnMe · 30/06/2022 12:28

I think it’s fine for him to go and enjoy himself and have a break away from the family (you should too).

But if you discussed it and you both agreed he wouldn’t go this year and then he did, I’d be very annoyed.

AryaStarkWolf · 30/06/2022 12:28

I'd be ok with it however I'd be 100% sure that if I asked my DH NOT to go for 4 days he wouldn't so I don't think you're BU

Eatingchips · 30/06/2022 12:32

That would cross a boundary for me.

DH has gone away abroad most years for 4ish days for a lad’s trips since we have been together but 8 weeks after our children were born would have been a hard no from me.

But that said in your case it is done now, so you have to decide if it is a deal breaker for you, no one else gets to decide your boundaries.

mumwon · 30/06/2022 13:08

I hope he hasn't caught covid & brought it back to all of you (outbreak caused by this festival is in the news)

Hugasauras · 30/06/2022 13:10

Get planning for your four days away, OP! Get something booked in to look forward to asap!

Meraas · 30/06/2022 13:19

MolliciousIntent · 30/06/2022 10:58

I don't think that's got anything to do with being a responsible parent, I think that's just the realities of biology at play!

Show quote history

Her biology doesn’t mean she can cope with such young children on her own.

Helpyou · 30/06/2022 13:21

mumwon · 30/06/2022 13:08

I hope he hasn't caught covid & brought it back to all of you (outbreak caused by this festival is in the news)

Why does everything have to turn back to covid 🙄 you could catch covid anywhere.

Mariposista · 30/06/2022 13:22

YRGAM · 30/06/2022 11:44

YABU. If he's 'a great dad and father ' you really don't want to set the precedent of oneupmanship and score keeping in your relationship. This kind of thing chips away at the love that holds a relationship together.

Very very well said.

ImustLearn2Cook · 30/06/2022 13:24

@eeemilyeee Don’t take on board anyone who trivialises your partner leaving you for 4 days with an 8 week old newborn and a toddler.

I remember the first 12 weeks after having a baby were the most sleep deprived I have ever been in my whole life.

I think it was very selfish and unkind of your partner to leave you for 4 days to cope alone with your 8 week old and a toddler.

StopStartStop · 30/06/2022 13:25

Throw him out. He doesn't give two hoots about you and your children.