To not contribute to maternity leave gift

[Stickystitch]

I've been in my job for just over 2 months and my manager is leaving in a few weeks to have a baby. It's been announced today that there will be a collection for her gift and to send money via PayPal pot or Monzo (it will be known who has contributed and who hasn't).

My work is remote - I've only met my manager in person once at a company team day, I don't know her at all, she never talks to me apart from half an hour every fortnight where she just dryly goes through the motions of a one to one - in my opinion she had checked out of her job ages ago as she knew she was going on leave. She's not really made any effort with me at all, asks me to do HR admin things that are really her job, and hasn't even done half of my onboarding which has made me look bad in meetings when I haven't known pretty basic parts of the job. Haven't had a great first impression.

I still have to contribute some money to the collection don't I, or I'll look bad? How much? I'm broke and really can't be bothered. Am I bad person?

Stick a few quid in?

I wouldn’t expect you to contribute as you’ve only been there a short time.

I wouldn't bother, I rarely do anyway tbh. Saying that, I'm not too bothered by what people think. If you are, and it will play on your mind, it's worth a fiver to forget about it.

I wouldn’t give anything…I never do group collections….ever

If you can stretch to it I'd say £10, if it's a wel paid job, otherwise £5. Try to think of it as not a present to her personally but to a team member, and whoever is organising it could mention to others that you didn't contribute at all, so better to put something in.

In office collections where you could slip something in an envelope were much easier for this type of thing, and you got to enjoy putting 4p into a collection for someone you didn't like.

Since it's your boss I'd stick a £5 in. If it was a colleague I wouldn't bother. Your call at the end of the day. No right or wrong answer x

I'd put £5 in. Not worth the hassle not contributing could cause.

Don't contribute and let them know you won't contribute in future either. As a remote role you won't have a great bond with many colleagues so it's understandable

I wouldn’t bother with a penny. You hardly know this person.

If you feel that you should then go for something like 50p.

At the end of the day you are skint and if snarky people have a problem with you not contributing or going for the bare minimum then that’s their problem, and shows that they have a lack of insight into peoples circumstances.

Reluctantly I’d stick something in just to be seen to participate. But I might make it a random amount like £3.86 just to make myself chuckle.

What trouble could it cause by not contributing?

i didn’t waste a penny for the first year, still got promotions and treated with respect.

Then I only contributed to those whom I had established some form of relationship.

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest to not put anything in. It’s not compulsory.

Don't put anything in

£5/10. Not putting anything in isn't going to endear you to the team, particularly when they do t know you much yet, so if it's just about making a point I think you'd be cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I wouldn't.

Never do anything you don't want to. I was the only one who didn't participate in Secret Santa back in my first job because I just think the whole tradition is wasteful and pointless.

I didn't care what people thought and neither should you.

It depends if it's going to bother you what people think?
If they're all quite close in your work normally and they know you didn't contribute then it could give them a bad opinion of you. Personally that wouldn't bother me but if it bothers you then it's worth sticking £5 in

She’ll be on mat leave and won’t remember by the time she returns. I really wouldn’t bother.

I think it’s better to give nothing than a tiny amount. You’re new, it’s fine.

nah its not a normal office team so dont bother you wont even see any of them

You’ve been there 2 months. Don’t bother. Just say no if anyone asks and say barely knew her.

I’m often the person doing the collections for class teachers and TAs. I use an app to collect the £. I don’t care who does or doesn’t contribute or what they contribute. With online collections, I often have no idea who has contributed as their names might not match their child’s surname or I don’t actually know who they are as it’s just a class WhatsApp group. I just tell everyone what’s been raised, spend the amount that’s there and make sure people know what was bought and how much it cost.

Just be clear about not paying ahead of time if they are planning on everyone contributing an equal share. I have been left out of pocket when asked to sort out gifts for colleagues and then had people say they’d contribute and then back-pedal on contributing their share which is why I use the app now. Money first. Gift second.

I’m usually the organiser of these things where I work , so I always know the culprits who don’t put , it’s not compulsory but I can’t help but think tight gits to the same ones over again . Newbies I wouldn’t usually expect anyway . However as it’s your boss I think I would just go for a fiver , but that’s just me .

I don't normally either - and when I left my last organisation I specifically asked for no gifts and for people to sponsor my marathon later this year if they felt like throwing money around.

As you seem consistent and would not want one for yourself, seems reasonable. At least speak to her and wish her well.

It’s absolutely fine not to, so long as you wouldn’t / won’t be offended if others don’t continue to you in the future

No, don't contribute. I never do and like you, wouldn't expect people to give me money. Maybe if there is an e-card going round you could put a generic good luck message in.