To not contribute to maternity leave gift

[Stickystitch]

I've been in my job for just over 2 months and my manager is leaving in a few weeks to have a baby. It's been announced today that there will be a collection for her gift and to send money via PayPal pot or Monzo (it will be known who has contributed and who hasn't).

My work is remote - I've only met my manager in person once at a company team day, I don't know her at all, she never talks to me apart from half an hour every fortnight where she just dryly goes through the motions of a one to one - in my opinion she had checked out of her job ages ago as she knew she was going on leave. She's not really made any effort with me at all, asks me to do HR admin things that are really her job, and hasn't even done half of my onboarding which has made me look bad in meetings when I haven't known pretty basic parts of the job. Haven't had a great first impression.

I still have to contribute some money to the collection don't I, or I'll look bad? How much? I'm broke and really can't be bothered. Am I bad person?

I would never want anyone I didn't know well to donate to that sort of thing. In fact it's a bit weird if they do. Especially something like maternity which is personal and results in you then not seeing them for a year! Let the woman's long standing colleagues, friends and bosses contribute. When it's someone you like you can decide if you wish to contribute.

Wow I'm amazed £5, we normally put 50p or a £1 in, £2 if I really know and like the person.

If tongues are wagging because a new starter doesn't contribute to her bosses baby shower then employees need more work to do. Why would anyone notice or care?

Honestly, don’t bother contributing. You barely know her and she’s not made any effort with you. Also, I always think it’s cheeky asking junior staff to contribute to gifts for more senior staff.

This. I spent £10 per time on 15 maternity leaves last year. That’s not an unusual number either. People get so snotty if you refuse but I just do now - it’s too much money and I really don’t care about their babies anymore!

I wouldn’t contribute if you don’t really know her or feel she has helped you settle in etc.
I only contribute when I really like the person and feel they will be missed and to say thank you - I appreciate you etc. So really don’t feel bad for not contributing and buy yourself a bottle of wine / similar instead.

She won't know who sent money, just sign the card. Maybe when baby arrives and youre less brassic you could buy or make something for baby!

I wouldn’t give anything. Hope your new manager is a great improvement!

The OP said it will be known who has contributed and who hasn't...! It's written in the first post.

I think u gotta. It’s more about making a looking like a team player.

This!!!

This isn’t the way to go about it. You’re unhappy about how she has been as a manager whilst working remotely please divert your frustrations to HER LINE MANAGER or HR. Don’t take it out on the soon to be new mother

No. No need to contribute.

Honestly for the sake of politics, I’d just stick a fiver in.

She’s not throwing a drink on her, she’s just not putting money in a card. Crikey moses.

No, not being there long enough and not had much contact with her. So don't see the need at all. Recently at work my boss sent an email re someone retiring and a meet up in a pub, don't know the person, so did not put in money or go to the meet up.

I wouldn't give any money. You've not been there long and she's not been very welcoming. Plus she's your boss and I don't really think you should feel obliged to contribute to someone higher up the hierarchy tbh.

No one will notice who's contributed and who hasn't even on PayPal or whatever. I've done a few collections for colleagues and it's the total I'm interested in not the individual amounts.

I wouldn't feel obliged but I like the idea another poster mentioned of giving a random amount. I'd give either 62p or 1.07p. No idea why. 🤣

I thought I'm the only one thinking this. My manager makes probably 5x as much as me. Could wipe his ass with Next voucher.

I would give nothing as you've just joined and don't really know her. Looks better than tiny amount.

I wouldn't contribute. You hardly know her and she's not exactly been helpful towards you.

Recently a colleague of mine got married. I barely know him, I always say good morning when I go into the office but he rarely says anything. I was asked to organise his collection. I refused politely. I also didn't contribute and don't care who knew

Unfortunately though, the person organising the collection will know who has paid and who hasn't. They may chase you for money, gently I would hope. All you have to say is that you're hard up at the moment so can't afford to contribute. Colleagues have said that to me when I've done collections and I've totally accepted it

Depends how you’d feel if you were leaving or going on mat leave. Would you want people to make an effort and buy you something? If yes, put a fiver in. If no, don’t put anything in and tell them as much at the time.

If it’s someone in your team, it’s not really nice to pick and choose depending on whether you like someone or not, either you do it for all in your team or no one. (However if they’re from a different team, that can totally be based on like)

Not necessary in your case. If you don't want to, do not feel obliged.

I wouldn’t bother

Also no shame in being skint. Times are getting really hard for people. So I definitely wouldn’t bother if I was in your shoes. Especially if you’re new and you don’t even know her. You’ve got other priorities.