It’s my birthday today and partner has not said anything to me

[Littlebitlost0001]

Hi All,

I don’t want this to come off as self pity, I just don’t know if IABU and not seeing another side to this.

So for context.
Today is my birthday, I am 37 weeks pregnant tomorrow and have a lovely 8 year old boy. I am with my the kids dad but our relationship is strained.
Especially over the last week - we are having house renovations and he has consistently blamed me about them despite me saying to only do upstairs and later do downstairs but he insisted on doing the entire house together.

Plesse note I am paying for all of the renovations and we stayed in a hotel for 2 weeks while the bulk of the work was being done. It’s not ideal but I’m heavily pregnant and can manage.

There have been 2 big arguments in the past week and I am just blamed for absolutely everything, everything I do is wrong and selfish apparently.

He has not said anything to me, no happy birthday nothing.
My son doesn’t know it’s my birthday bless him so I just got him ready and he went to school as usual.

This day is especially tough for me as it will be the first birthday without my dad (he passed away almost a year ago and our birthdays are only a week apart - I was very close to my dad, he was a single parent and raised me and my brother alone).

AIBU to even think my partner may wish me happy birthday? I don’t expect a gift, card or anything .

My partners birthday was less than a month after my dad passed and I still ensured I arranged a lovely weekend away for the 3 of us.

Thank you in advance anyone who reads/replies. X

Your dad sounds like he was a really great guy.
He would want you to be with someone who treated you better than this. X

Absolutely that. As the parent of an adult DD with a DH, a toddler and another baby on the way, I can tell you that if she was in a relationship like this I'd be begging her to leave. Your dad would be desperate for you to throw your partner out too. Maybe throwing this man out could be both your birthday present to yourself AND your birthday present to your dad.

Hold onto that feeling op!
New beginnings and a happier home and life for you and your dc.
You can do that.
Cheering you on x

Happy birthday OP 🥳🎂🎉

Happy birthday! I would be rethinking my marriage if my husband treated me a tiny tiny bit the way your husband is treating you - and with you carrying his baby to boot....I am so sorry but he sounds like a plonker.

^MNHQ need an emergency signal, like Batman.
The call goes out, nearest MNs are deployed and bastards like these are met with packed bags and a protective cordon of fierce women.
one of these women will be locksmith, one a solicitor and possibly another who is a massage therapist.^

Love this!

But no, no massage therapist. Not recommended during pregnancy.
(As I was told during mine).

I haven’t read anyone else’s replies, but I just wanted to wish you the BIGGEST happy birthday wishes, and send you some birthday love 🤗 I hope you are spoilt rotten and looked after and appreciated on all of your future birthdays x

@Littlebitlost0001 WTF... he often reminds me it is a “shit hole” and He can be very nasty and cruel. - and you are with him because.... ?

Sorry but pack his bags and change the locks. Yesterday was already too late for this. Take your trash out, start living your life. Show your son how a woman should be treated! What is he seeing, think.

Stay strong, because you are!

Stay strong and keep hold of that feeling, before too long all of your days will be brighter

You need to appreciate that your son is learning how to treat women based on this man's behaviour. One day he might tell his own partner that it's her fault they live in a shithole.

If you won't get out for yourself, do it for him. Before he's the next abuser in the cycle.

Happy Birthday! x
The best news on this thread is that you own the house. You've also been subsidising him financially. So you can chuck him out and even gain a bit of money each month by immediately stop paying for anything that is his responsibility. If his car is in your name - it's yours.

Get rid Op, for your own sanity and to protect your children.

You pay all the bills. Make the money. Give him the money. Sounds like you do the cooking too and probably shopping and what about housework? Are you doing that too?

What does he bring to the table because it sounds like you're basically employing him to have sex with you and treat you like shit.

Glad you and your son had a happy birthday celebration together. It sounds like this has given you a new insight and more strength to deal with these issues. Now you need some RL support. Take it one step at a time. Talk to your brother and sister, talk to your midwife, and Womens Aid and most of all, do everything you can to take care of your own health, your baby's and your lovely DS.

Hi OP, Happy Birthday 🎂.... can I ask was he as cruel and verbally abusive before you got the house done?... if so, he's not going to change his ways. This is not a good situation for your 8 year old or your new baby... they will probably grow up thinking that talking to women in this way is normal.
Is there anyone to look after your 8 yr old whilst your giving birth other than your husband, because if there is, I'd tell him to sling his hook tbf

Today is a new day and the start of your new beginning.
Please get the strength together to leave this guy who brings nothing positive to your life, and move on with your little family.

Happy birthday OP. You deserve to be made a fuss over. You deserve cards, flowers and a gift. In a happy relationships you take these things for granted, because they are normal little gesture of love. I think you deserve a partner that pulls his weight by doing his share of chores around the house, by being supportive of you as his baby's mama but by the sound of things he checked out of this relationship and is really toxic for you. What do you think your son will say next? Time to move on, a newborn will be a lot of work but less hard work than also pandering to a selfish entitled prick in my view. Big hugs.

I know it’s a day late but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, and hope that something good came of your day yesterday.

Based on some of your responses, it sounds like you put up with an awful lot from this man, and continually bend over backwards to please him and make his life easier when he doesn’t deserve it at all. If he is not going to treat you with the love and kindness you deserve then at the very least you have got to start treating yourself that way. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him that he can’t badmouth you to your child, and don’t run errands or cook for him after he has berated you. He does not seem the type of man to consider your feelings or needs, so you either have to start being upfront and asking for the things you need (like a trip to the shops or effort on your birthday) or you need to accept that he is a selfish asshole that isn’t meeting your needs and leave him.

I really hope you've called time on the relationship with this abusive cocklodger. Let him go find someone else to bankroll him while you and your children are better off without him.

Op, how are you ? Xxx

Happy birthday.
Please treat yourself to something nice, buy yourself a bunch of flowers and a nice dinner!

Also..LTB

Happy birthday xx
Please, if he asks you to marry him, either say no or make it a really long engagement (protecting your home ownership here)! He brings nothing to your life but problems. You don't need him.

@XJerseyGirlX just why......🤯

@Mybumlooksbig
@MacarenaMacarena

Bit late.

OP posted in June.

@Marvellousmadness shit sorry