I will not let you hide in the cloak and dagger Mumsnet Mafia

[TheResistance]

you won’t get away with this

I'm Mumsnet Raffia - just here for the basket weaving.

How about any gardening duties ?

Or make-up artist skills ?

Soon as we can, what type of base are we considering and what sections are needed all ?

I am small and fairly rotund so if I got pushed over in a fight I can easily roll around like they do in the movies.
You the guy who picks up the dropped shooter and randomly fires the shots.
Do I get the gig?
Who are we protecting or will we be told over a game of poker

@Hawkins001 reporting in for duty.

Before you assign me a role, please be aware that - due to extenuating family circumstances - I will need part time hours, flexible working and term time only.

My skill is bluffing (aka lying). I regularly bluff my way out of trouble and can charm figures of authority. Most recently, this has involved blaming my youngest child's late arrival for school on my disabled child.

On the surface I am a cheery, hardworking Mum. My sunny smile blinds those around me to my dark inner core.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan I think you are being hard in yourself there. Yoda basically wears a wrap dress which the MN S & B boards will tell you is very flattering.

I have a vw camper
I can donate to the cause.
If required I can black out the windows but maybe that would draw attention of the enemy

Has someone had a bit too much sun? Or gin?

@Pifflewiffle - I have long thought we need a MN Hit Squad, touring the country, dispensing Justice. Count me in!

@stepuporshutup could we partner up?

I have wanted a camper van since forever and I am a skilled sewing machinist and could make you some nice blackout curtains?

Also could make us a uniform out of a good quality, black fabric for when we're on night ops.

Looking at a public relations role, and / or asset recruitment to fit around your other duties.

To give everyone some basic ideas for training and general knowledge, two films I recommend, one is the recruit with Colin Farrell, the other is called spy with Melissa McCarthy.

And a classic Mr and Mrs Smith with brad Pitt

i Recommend using your machinist skill set, as well as the planned outfits, I also recommend a selection of different hi vis, or utility worker uniforms, so we can blend in when conducting surveillance, e.g. Looking like mowing public lawns, or road sweeping and maintenance ect sometimes being overt obvious, is a good way to avoid suspicion.

The camper, would be a most welcome addition to the fleet, we can make a number of uses for it.

We will be doing a mix of our own missions, but also be running private security for a number of various client's.

Of course we must partner up
Black out curtains great idea.
I look good in a uniform 👍
How is your get away driving, you could take the wheel and I can read the map (no sat nav)
I have a couple of black torches and not afraid to use them as a cosh
Let me know the time and place you will recognize me I will be carrying a severed finger

To engage with the public on building a brand "for official perspectives", we will be making and and selling items via eBay listings.

Oh I’ve sold lots of stuff on eBay over the last 3 years. I’m definitely up for doing the listings. I have 100% feedback with loads of nice comments.

im available for afternoon and evening shifts in our blacked out camper van. Happy to bring my own sleeping bag and towel. This is all shaping up very well for such an embryonic mafia group.I’m in the WI so hopefully I can bring experience in a wide range of skills - traybakes, belly dancing, tai chi, inventing gins and preserves, supporting refuges and generally empowering women. A Mafia subgroup seems the next logical step.

Very impressive range of activities, skills and willing. Certainly a great addition to the cause.

Re gardening duties: Yes! I have actually grown a wisteria from seed! It's still tiny and I'm still trying to figure out what it wants. They're actually a lot harder than babies because they don't scream when they need something. But it's not completely dead yet!

I hope everyone has an trouble free and productive first day as an elite member of the MN Mafia (known as MSM from here on). Keep safe, keep hidden and keep doing whatever it is we are supposed to be doing. About that - does anyone know what that actually is yet?)

Oops rookie error MNM not MSM . I'm going to be taken off the payroll before coffee break if I don't smarten up

I don't like bagels.

Little known fact: this was the original title of the Boomtown Rats' single.

great rules!

How do you feel about a croissant, or do you lean toward toast and jam, I'm good with a toaster too...