I will not let you hide in the cloak and dagger Mumsnet Mafia

[TheResistance]

you won’t get away with this

I am definitely not mafia but have been around a long time and remember the bat arriving. What is driving me up the wall is I am sure the bat used to have a name. Anyone help??

Oh how exciting!!

Crocky I’ve been here about 12 years but have never stumbled across the bat. Has it been in hiding? Or does it hang about on less frequented boards? Pets,
coronavirus, the unexplained?

I believe that they Take Away Ironing Boards.
Stealthily.

Found it. He was called soupy.

Oh good old soupy.
I still have him bookmarked.

Ahhh soupy. All we need need now is good ol' Tezza

Got that too.

You just summed up my entire career.

Soupy looks a character. How did he come about? Is he a soup making bat or was he rescued after he was discovered to be a soup ingredient?

Yay! Thank you @IncompleteSenten

As long as you can bluff, keep secrets, deceive when needed, and any other skills I've missed that can be useful and are willing to add your skills or be willing to improve your skills, for the greater good of the company, then welcome to the family.

I identify as the capo di capi. I suspect I'm not the only one. And all of us need a consigliere. So that's that sorted out.

Along with membership qualifications of the MNMafia including tutting, being naice and making one chicken serve a week for a large family, I demand diagram proficiency and a few pet pictures ... and blue line eyes.

CFs will be conscripted along with convicted MILS, SILS, Bridezillas, bastards you leave .... all cheques should not be cancelled but sent to the MNMafia.

That sounds reasonable crosstalk. I’m Head Chef so don’t think I’ve got time to take on a more senior role and I’m more of a follower than a leader. If your happy to wear the mantle/cape/cloak of Capo di Capi I’m ok with that.

I'm more middle management, I'm not fussed on the top spot, as I like to know all the team etc, rather than tied up with the bosses duties.

The first rule of Mumsnet Mafia is you do not talk about Mumsnet Mafia.

The second rule of Mumsnet Mafia is you DO NOT talk about Mumsnet Mafia.

Third rule of Mumsnet Mafia: if someone mentions naice ham, penis beaker, or eating badgers , the thread is over.

Fourth rule: only two vipers to a thread.

Fifth rule: one batshit thread at a time, mafiosos.

Sixth rule: AIBU is bare knuckle. No sugar coating, no empathy, no shits given.

Seventh rule: threads will go on as long as they have to. Especially during drip feeds. (Unless you piss off the mods)

And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time with the Mumsnet Mafia, you have to bring the bagels.

I can't find a cloak or dagger but I can lay my hands on a pac-a-mac and my DH says I can have the sgian dhu from his kilt accessories.
Am I in?

I'll agree with the eighth rule.

Welcome to the family.

I used to go clay pigeon shooting, but no longer have a license.
I still make Italian pastries and have the moulds.
Surely that makes me a living embodiment of "Leave the gun; take the cannoli!"?

<hopeful look>

Well that's perfect because I look EXACTLY like Yoda, except I don't have his figure. Or dress sense.

The mafia strike again.

@Hoppinggreen also if you're looking to get promoted, do all that but with a clipboard. Occasionally do a tick on the clipboard.

I can't do any of those things, but I can pluck any chin hair that's more than 0.001mm long. Not lip hair though, because that hurts.

Well it looks like we have all bases covered now with everyone from the boss down to normal mortals and Soupy the bat (who can keep his ears to the ground for intel). When do we report for duty?