I will not let you hide in the cloak and dagger Mumsnet Mafia

[TheResistance]

you won’t get away with this

Cruel and unusual punishment is a breach of The Human Rights Convention. I'm old school, not a savage.

I might be cloak and dagger Mumsnet Mafia, but I'm naice cloak and dagger Mumsnet Mafia.

I would love a purple cape with pockets! I wanna join!!!

Plus, it's better to focus more on psychological methods, as they last longer and can be a lot more effective, than the normal torture methods that are outlawed.

I don't have any special skills to offer, apart from the ability to eat an entire tub of ice cream in one sitting, but I do have an army of cats that make good spies. Well, unless they get distracted by a red dot or a fluffy thing on a string attached to a stick.

Oh, I can make a spreadsheet with pretty colours to show who has paid protection money and who hasn't.

Any skills of various sorts, all help with different tasks, besides we also offer various training programs on the farm, to get recruits and seasoned professionals to acquire new or improve existing skills. As long as all recruits and professionals are willing to learn, then that's the main requirement for the training programs.

anytime velvetvixen! I've got you covered. I am the cheery but gruff mafioso that lives in the kitchen and does the cooking.

I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse [ for the Irish butter obvs.]

@elephantoverthehill I can get you those, too

I can do codes and cryptic crosswords if that’s any use?

Is The Cloak and Dagger a pub? Are these the bitter ramblings of someone who didn't get invited for a glass of prosecco?

😈🕵

I may also frequent your services when possible and be intrigued with your menus.

Welcome aboard, to the language, cipher, and codes department

I’m really good at making glass, stainless steel and other surfaces really really shiny and I can make a delicious tomato soup. I’m not sure which department these comes under.

Yep! Now you may kiss my ring....

This thread is cheering me right up 😂

Obviously I don't really deal indaggers but if any of you mn mafioso need me ill be in the mn cloak & dagger!

You'll be given the option s of being part of the engineering dept and cooking departments, welcome to.the club.

I think daggers are a bit passe to the MN mafia

Envenomed blades (viper origin, of course) are the subtle classic tho', surely?

I am the official bagel supplier to the mumsnet mafia, all served with your choice of hot beverage, earl grey a speciality. Irish coffee when required.

I can make a good chilli but my tomato soup comes out of a can (or a carton if we're feeling posh) so I think you just made it to head chef.

MN mafia? I prefer The Cliteratti.

Oh 😔 well then I'll just lean against the wall with my arms crossed and nod wisely whenever anyone says anything, so it looks like I'm actually in charge of you all.

Occasionally when someone makes a decision, I'll give them a significant look as though I'm authorising it.

Can I join? I don't have a dagger but I do have a katana. It's display only and as blunt as a ball and was actually made in Italy rather than Japan.

JesusInTheCabbageVan
I've been on here since it was all herds of brachiosaurs. Am I the MN mafia yet?

If you’ve been around that long I should think you’re definitely in. You could be the wise woman/man. Sort of a mafia Yoda figure perhaps.

Im happy with head cook. I’m stuck in waiting for a parcel so I’ll check out recipes for horse heads while I’ve got the time.