To wonder why people that aren't religious have their children christened

[leavethewallalone]

I've been to a lot of christenings lately. None of the families are in any way religious. The other children in the family were also christened, and outside of their christening, do not practice religion, attend church, etc. I have lost track on how much we must have spent on christening gifts which I can't really afford right now, but also don't like turning up without anything.

One family didn't want a christening but instead had a naming ceremony (for a 9 month old...who had been named 9 months ago). They received piles of gifts and in truth I did wonder if the whole thing was just for that.

The only reason I can think of is tradition within the family, but none of the family members are religious either and parents aren't christened

Any loving parent would tell a lie for their child’s welfare and safety. Particularly when the lie has no actual consequences in real life other than better schooling for said child. Throughout history people have hidden their beliefs and lied about them in order to achieve safety or other advantages. I look at it as a sacrifice I’m making for my child. It’s an absolute pain in the arse going to church every week but it’s the only option available to me to give my child the best start in life.

If you have no intention of doing that then you are a hypocrite

Given that school provision is discriminatory and stacked against the non religious, I doubt anyone gives a flying about random-on-the-internet's judgement.

I'm a Christian and have no problem at all with non-believers having their children christened, nor with church weddings etc. There are occasions in life which have weight and meaning. People often want a ceremony that reflects that and some find what they are looking for in the ceremonies of the church, even if they don't have religious faith. "How but in custom and in ceremony
Are innocence and beauty born?"

In my opinion, the church is there to serve the whole community, not just believers, and I'm very happy to welcome everybody in. It also doesn't bother me if people take religious vows without religious belief, provided they are generally in good faith. And maybe a christening or a church wedding will be the thing that makes someone think about faith, and maybe it won't, and that's ok with me as well.

There's also the cultural weight of religion. Christianity has dominated western discourse for 2000 years, across ethics, governance, literature, music, and so on and on.

I don't believe in the literal truth of the theology but I fully appreciate the power and influence it's had on my society and culture. I want my children to have an appreciation of that, as I do.

Yes, well, sometimes. Couples turn up thinking that it's free to get married in a church and that they can have lovely pictures, a traditional day and save some money. They end up put out when they find out there are fees and hoops through which they have to jump. Some vicars don't allow the ceremony to be filled or photographed, some expect regular attendance beforehand and being present for the banns being read etc. Special licenses and all sorts.

Interesting. A few Irish people on here saying it's societal but I'm Irish and our child isn't christened. Quite a few of our peers don't have them christened. I wouldn't like to be a hypocrite.

Interesting. A few Irish people on here saying it's societal but I'm Irish and our child isn't christened.

Just because you don't feel it, doesn't mean it isn't.

The church has been tremendously influential in ROI and a significant part of tribal identities for some. It isn't an easy matter to disengage culturally from all that.

I think this happens less often now that there are other options to get married in than a church or register office.

I went to one Catholic christening that was done purely to secure a school place as priority was given to those who were christened.

And two Christian ones (same family) where mum told me that even though she and her DH no longer practiced, and didn't plan to bring the DC up in the Church, they had both been christened as babies so she wanted to make sure she'd covered all bases in the afterlife to ensure they all went to the same place.

Neither DH or I were christened, nor our DC so I guess that logic applies to us too.

Tradition probably, and a nice event to introduce baby to wider family etc. I didn't get my children christened but I did do a naming ceremony for my youngest which was nice.
Most seem to get christened in my country, and confirmations are a big thing. Can only get married in a church if at least one of the couple is christened/officially church member so that's another reason. On the flip side if you've been christened you are officially a church member and have to pay church tax.

It’s really not worth the stress and cost of planning a party just to get presents. As if anyone would do it just for presents.
Its tradition, a chance for a celebration, a chance to get family together, to get child into a preferred school, a rite of passage etc etc.

I'm not Christian, but I don't see how anyone could object to people being christened. Religion isn't about excluding people....

No, but it is about religious beliefs…..

In my experience (and it is only that- others may of course disagree) Christians can be quite relaxed about this sort of thing. It's easy to think of Christians as a group of people who all hold the same particular set of beliefs- but actually (and certainly within the Anglican church) people hold a wide range of beliefs with plenty of variation in what we think of as literally true and what we understand as metaphor. We also have plenty of doubts! So the notion of drawing a clear line between believers and non-believers is a tricky one- for most of us, faith is a work in progress- and I'm therefore with @samG76 in favouring an inclusive approach.

(Obviously it's a completey different story in fundamentalist churches.)

@samG76 Parents and godparents make real, serious promises at a christening. I object strongly to people making those promises with no intention of keeping them.

Where i live it's because of schools and school places. Having said that, most of the vicars/priests have started taking a hard line on it and saying you can't be christened or baptised by them unless you attend church regularly

My mother was very religious but still didn't have me Christened, she left that choice to me. I chose to be baptised when I was 17.
My children weren't Christened either, it's their choice. DH is an atheist as were his parents yet he was Christened.

My neighbour is a self confessed pagan yet she had her daughter Christened which I really don't understand.

It does annoy me that people just "use" the church gorgeous something they don't believe in.

what promises do parents make at a christening? Are they to God or the vicar? Presumably both take them with a pinch of salt. I'm not in any way negating the importance of belief here, but if I go to a baby naming in synagogue, the last think I would think is "they won't feed the child kosher food". They might, of course, but it's not my business. And if they want to send the child to a Jewish school in due course, that's great.

I am a catholic and a godparent several times over. I don't go to church and the same applies to every single one of my catholic friends.

We had our babies baptised as Catholics and chose their godparents, not for spiritual guidance obligations, but to recognise them as special to us and to hope they'd be special to our kids (they are).

In my experience, Catholics tend to be hypocrites (me included). We get our kids baptised for many reasons, but religion tends not to be one of them. It's usually to get them into the catholic primary and for family tradition and to have a day marking it.

Someone compared it upthread to getting married in a church if you are not religious, but I imagine most couples doing that do at least have some intention of keeping their vows.

It doesn’t matter if you are selfish and have no integrity or moral conscience.

If the system is stacked against them (as it is with schooling for example) why should they give a damn?

The church has used and abused its power in multiple ways over the years. The government has used the church's investment in education, in ways that benefit both parties, to the detriment of the non religious. Why would individuals not act in their own interests in these circumstances?

Agree with Greensleeves.

For me it was a mix of all those things, brainwashing, doing the right thing...

A nice party!
Now I'd have a bespoke naming ceremony without all that!
Shows how deep and powerful the church's grip is.
Any religion's grip;

Anyone seen keep sweet, pray etc

A nice experience for baby? I'm guessing it's nice to dress baby in pretty clothes and see all the family and be centre of attention. Not sure if they dunk the baby under the water or not.

It baffled me since a was teenager. Didn't find the answer yet though. I'd say tradition or fear of living differently than their parents? Or even though people aren't religious, they don't go to church, they still believe in God so want to be their children to be a part of community? I think mix of three reasons, although i don't ask people, so it's just my assumption.