To wonder why people that aren't religious have their children christened

[leavethewallalone]

I've been to a lot of christenings lately. None of the families are in any way religious. The other children in the family were also christened, and outside of their christening, do not practice religion, attend church, etc. I have lost track on how much we must have spent on christening gifts which I can't really afford right now, but also don't like turning up without anything.

One family didn't want a christening but instead had a naming ceremony (for a 9 month old...who had been named 9 months ago). They received piles of gifts and in truth I did wonder if the whole thing was just for that.

The only reason I can think of is tradition within the family, but none of the family members are religious either and parents aren't christened

Yeah it’s the presents (rubbing my hand in glee at all the silver goblets, silver birth cert holders and bibles).

People adore their new babies and a christening is a lovely way to show them off to friends and family and make a bit of an official fuss of them.

I think that’s what it is.

Majority of people don't understand what a godparent actually is anymore. As a staunch atheist if someone asked me I'd laugh internally and politely decline.

To the poster who asked what churches need donations for; everything! At our church the vicar’s salary is paid by the CofE, but everything else - including the administrator’s salary, the utilities bills, building maintenance, upkeep of the organ, AV equipment, teaching material for children’s ministry, paper for the photocopier and tea and coffee served after the service - is all paid for by donations from the congregation and visitors, with the odd grant thrown in. The church wardens, children’s workers and musicians are all volunteers and are paid nothing (although some wealthier churches some of these positions are paid).

To get them into better schools.
To dress up and say, ‘Look at me and my progeny!’
To allow them to be godparents and/or get married in a church without an awkward conversation with the vicar.
Because religious parents insist and they’re too weak to say no.

I think school places are a reason for some, where parents 'rediscover' their faith, which they suddenly lose again once their child/children are in secondary school.

I expect some also are not religious or agnostic, but have one or more parents who are, and don't want either to acknowledge their non-belief to them.

I don't think it's the same as celebrating Xmas. In a baptism you stand up and make some very specific promises and vows. I very tactfully declined a request to be a godmother as I am a total atheist and wasn't prepared to make a mockery of what to many, is a really important thing. Xmas is an almost unavoidable part of the rhythm of the year but you can so as much or little as you like regarding religion around it. My kids both had 'big' parties on their first birthday which sort of stood in lieu of the social function of a baptism.

Tradition, expected by family, an excuse to celebrate their child, attention for themselves, for school, family time/party,presents, societal expectations,social media opportunities.

My friend did, neither her or her partner are religious but it really really mattered to her very religious granny that the baby was baptised.

As she didn't mind they went ahead with it and the granny was happy and reassured that the baby wasn't going to go to hell.

I am not religious so I'm not sure if people would consider that choice wrong or to be using the church. The god parents were religious people as were quite a lot of the family, but the child isn't going to go to church unless he asks to when he is older.

I'm christened, so is my husband, I don't quite know what I believe, he certainly doesn't believe in religion. I attend the harvest festival and Christmas eve and also make occasional donations and read bible stories to my children.

I wanted to get my daughters christened partly for tradition and also because our church is very welcoming and the local vicar encourages it. I had a good long cuppa with the vicar before I booked my first daughters christening and he had a very modern view which I liked. He talked about how Christianity is evolving to be more about good behaviours and morals rather than attending church every week and having a strict belief in God.

Same with getting married in a church. My theory is they think it’s the ‘done thing’ plus it’s mainly for show. Personally I think it’s cringey. I only think you should do it if you’re genuinely religious, bonus points if it’s the church your we’re christened in.

for a reyt good piss up
or to get school places

Loads of people do. They just want a party and pictures. I would say most people who Christen their child aren’t religious and haven’t been to church since they were 10. I don’t think people should christen their dc or get married in a church if they don’t attend church at least a couple of times a year.

I like to think that along with it being a tradition, the parents may believe on God deep down.

That we do not believe in god, but we appreciate others do (like my PIL) and we acknowledge religion made a positive impact on our childhood / adolescence years.

I completely agree, OP. It was a source of tension in our family because ex-h's parents are very religious and my grandparents are very religious. My mum got me baptised because of family pressure and I hate it; it's a religious label attached to me that I can never get rid of. To the point that when I was 14 I joined a local Wiccan coven and had a private ceremony where I was brought into their group, just so I could throw it in my mum's face that technically I converted 😅. I point blank refused to baptise dd and the grandparents on both sides are barred from ramming religion down our throats. If dd gets older and decides she wants to get baptised, I will support her, but it needs to come from her.

I was christened. No idea why as my mum is firmly against religion. Tradition I guess.

Around us, it's for school places as one of the best primary schools is Catholic. I've met some people who claim to be Catholic but would surely burst into a ball of flames if they went anywhere near a church.

“Because they’re thick and don’t self-reflect on their behaviour?”

^This. And the social media likes

I agree OP. DH and I were both christened, but we haven't got our DC christened, because we're atheists and why would we? We didn't have a naming ceremony either, which strikes me a lot of nonsense. We named our DC, their names are on their birth certificates and therefore they are named! We didn't need a ceremony for that.

It's just seen as the done thing to some people. When I had my first my in laws were horrified that we weren't having him christened, they aren't religious at all. My parents are Christians and couldn't have cared less!

Yes they do!

Because it's tradition.
Because their Mum/Nana/MIL/gMIL is traditional.
Because their Mum/Nana/MIL/gMIL attenda church and wants the kids done .
Because they want a party.
Because they think it will help with schools.
Because its a nice afternoon out and an excuse to get together.
Because although a lot of people aren't "religious" they do have a faith (whether they recognize it as a faith or not.)
Because they got married there.

Loads of reasons. And it's fine. Some families come again, some don't, some dip in and out over the years.

Baptisms are part of what keeps the church going. They cost a fortune to run and need donations in the collection plate.

Ours are christened. I'm an atheist and my OH isn't and wanted them to be christened. If it was solely my choice, they wouldn't have been.

I’m a staunch atheist but I had my kids christened to get them into the Catholic school. It’s the best school and I don’t see why my lack of religious belief should disadvantage my kids and force them to attend a poorer school.

I also got married in church. Because it looked nicer; the city register office is bloody hideous, it’s basically a dirty waiting room full of plastic chairs. And I wanted my dogs as part of the bridal procession but the register office wouldn’t let them in.

I would be one of your friends where people says "She got them christened for school/presents/traditions " however I have a belief I just don't push it on other people and I rarely talk about it.

When dd3 got into the local sought after Christian school very over subscribed and very hard to get into i had 4 parents slide up next to me to find out "How we did it" well like everyone else who got in we attended church regularly for 4 years. I just didn't attend the local church and I didn't push this to others.

So be careful when you judge for some its none of the judgements it's because that christening has spiritual meaning for them.

I also got married in church and I intend to be buried from one.
However most of my friends would say I am not religious.

Partly tradition like people say - but also school places plays a part. Religious schools in our area are few and far between, but the ones we have would be most peoples first choice for exam results etc.