To wonder why people that aren't religious have their children christened

[leavethewallalone]

I've been to a lot of christenings lately. None of the families are in any way religious. The other children in the family were also christened, and outside of their christening, do not practice religion, attend church, etc. I have lost track on how much we must have spent on christening gifts which I can't really afford right now, but also don't like turning up without anything.

One family didn't want a christening but instead had a naming ceremony (for a 9 month old...who had been named 9 months ago). They received piles of gifts and in truth I did wonder if the whole thing was just for that.

The only reason I can think of is tradition within the family, but none of the family members are religious either and parents aren't christened

Many churches do refuse to do the full baptism ritual if the parents are clearly going to be lying when they say the vows (like promising to bring them up in the faith when they are atheists) - instead they'll do a different version where the child is welcomed into the world and the parents express thanks for their safe arrival or something like that. It's still done in church (often to keep grandparents happy) and they can still have a big party afterwards, but the parents aren't making promises they don't intend to keep.

I believe it's different in the Catholic Church, because it teaches (or did, until recently) that children must be baptised in case they die, but in Protestant churches that's not generally taught, so baby baptism is more of a symbolic thing anyway, and the "process" can be changed.

I think a lot of it is because we're still a culturally Christian country. Growing up in the 80s I was one of the very few kids in my class who weren't christened (parents were staunch atheists). Most of them weren't particularly religious it was just convention. Many of those people have also christened their children. I imagine if pressed many of them would say they are agnostic or C of E but only go to church for midnight mass at Christmas. When you are brought up in a country where we have a daily act of worship in schools etc Christianity can play a low level role in your life without you being particularly religious

This post has made me teary. And you have certainly made me think of popping into our local church even though I have no religious leanings. I hope our church has the same generosity you have.

This 100%.

I'm not religious but had DC christened. I have some complicated feelings about religion now, but church was a refuge when I was being abused at home as a teenager. I wasn't christened and felt like I was intruding because I wasn't, but it was the only place with an open door that was safe. The vicar and community was also amazing to my friend when she was dying - I've never seen anything like it.

I want to give them the option of that community if they want it.

I'm also a bit superstitious and - just in case they're right! - I want them in heaven even if I don't get there.

My children are Christened. There were several reasons why:

• Tradition (DH and I are Christened)

• To have an event for everyone to gather, have fun and meet baby.

• They would be attending the school linked to the church and whilst they didn't need to be Christened to get their places, it seemed appropriate.

• They may want to do something in the future where being Christened would make things easier.

• We wanted our children to have godparents.

There were presents which was lovely but it wasn't a main reason. We actually combined DD2's Christening with her 1st birthday to make it a joint event.

Guests tend to be happier to travel a bit further for an event like a Christening so some family met the children for the first time at their Christenings and also knew they'd see a wide range of other family members there, which was nice for everyone.

My kids dad wanted to do it for his church going mum. It matters in my their culture

I'm not at all religious- it didn't bother me and all. I went along with it - nice day, nice family party afterwards. We didn't get a lot of gifts & didn't expect any either.

Lol yes lots of parents who don't give a crap about religion choosing their kids religion for them. It's ridiculous

So that they can have nice church photos of their weddings as adults. That's what my cousin said of her child's dunking.

Massively hypocritical. I'm not christened, neither is my husband nor is our child. We are atheist so it wouldn't make sense. That said your gripe about buying gifts is silly as you don't have to go if you don't agree

In what way is it "choosing" a child's religion? The child will grow up & make their own choices.

And for those who are atheists it's impossible to choose a child's religion - they don't believe in any of it.

I was christened as a baby. I couldn't even tell you what church it was. It's had no impact on my life whatsoever.

Why do it then?

Your religion will in the main be because of your parents choices.

I was raised catholic.
I'm not particularly religious but both dc are baptised.
Why?
Because my parents were happy, I could hedge my bets around school entrance, it was a family get together and it’s traditional.
Am I a hypocrite?
No more than priests that are not actually celibate, church goers who lie, cheat or steal and still receive communion, vicars that go into schools to talk about poverty whilst stuffing their faces at every event laid on by fawning ladies.
My ds unashamedly as an atheist got married in church.
Churches he said should just be for the big events eg weddings, funerals and christenings.

1. A party,
2. Photos for social media
3. Presents
4. If you live near a church school it's a handy piece of paper
5. Granny etc expect it.
6. You aren't married so a Christening means new dress and lots of attention that you haven't got as a bride.
7. Tradition. Its just something everyone you know does

I am atheist but I considered getting my daughter christened for schooling reasons.

Not all CofE schools have baptism as an entry requirement. Lots (ours included) ask for regular attendance for 2 years prior to application but not for proof of baptism, so it’s worth checking if that’s the only reason for getting it done.

I am in Scotland so the choice for each catchment area is between the non denominational school and the Roman Catholic school. Being baptised is not compulsory to get into catholic schools but baptised children are given priority.

Agreed. I pay my taxes so my children should be able to attend state schools. I find it unreasonable for them to be excluded from the best schools because I don’t believe in a certain religion, while children who live further away get places because of their parents beliefs.

@Floella22 has your DP forgotten than some people are religious want churches to be more than that. If you don't believe, then yes you are a hypocrite, making solemn promises that you have no intention of keeping. I agree that many clergy are not squeaky clean, I'm not saying otherwise.

Humans like to have ceremonies to mark big milestones. These ceremonies probably predate Christianity and then the Church co-opted them, so now a lot of people feel like they are more meaningful when conducted by a vicar. This is like getting huffy over weddings and funerals.

Tradition
For family
For schools
Religious but don't attend church
To get married in church

Christenings open up a lot of opportunities and it's much easier to be christened as a baby rather than an adult

Tradition
Forward planning for school places
A party and gifts

I actually think its really disrespectful to the church to rock up and pretend it matters to you

You aren't married so a Christening means new dress and lots of attention that you haven't got as a bride.

Would a church grant a christening to the child of unmarried parents?

Interesting. Several of my friends grew up in quite observant families (mine included), who had not only been christened but also received holy communion and confirmation. Only one christened her children. The other didn't mainly because (as in my case), we were married to non religious people, had stopped attending church or regular prayer ourselves and didn't feel we could stand there saying we would raise the child in the faith as we knew we wouldn't.
My sister did christen her child, and she goes to mass every week and her daughter received her first holy communion last year. The girl is severely autistic and doesn't understand much of what it was all about, but my sister firmly believes. There was a lunch after but only with very close family and a few friends of the two families (it was a special service done specifically for ND children).
I don't get the 'tradition' reason. It's not like Christmas. The whole point of it is bringing your child in to the faith, if you have no intention of doing that just have a regular party.