To wonder why people that aren't religious have their children christened

[leavethewallalone]

I've been to a lot of christenings lately. None of the families are in any way religious. The other children in the family were also christened, and outside of their christening, do not practice religion, attend church, etc. I have lost track on how much we must have spent on christening gifts which I can't really afford right now, but also don't like turning up without anything.

One family didn't want a christening but instead had a naming ceremony (for a 9 month old...who had been named 9 months ago). They received piles of gifts and in truth I did wonder if the whole thing was just for that.

The only reason I can think of is tradition within the family, but none of the family members are religious either and parents aren't christened

AS many PPs have said, people want the traditional ceremony for all kinds of reasons. People get married in church who aren't believing Christians too.

I'm not a believer, but I was brought up as a church-goer. My family have been baptised, married and buried at that church for 100 years. I got married there because there's much more than religious belief to these things - the place (church, village and setting) are hugely meaningful to me and I feel part of my own family's history in having rites of passage there. I don't feel guilty at all, and the vicars have always been tactful and not pryed to closely into my personal beliefs - but I would be honest if they did. These things are not necessarily black and white for some people.

If I'm not explaining this very well, please read Philip Larkin's poem, Church Visiting (I think that's the right title...), which explains the lingering attraction for some agnostics and atheists to persist in venerating churches etc.

If it's to access over-subscribed church schools then there will be an expectation that the child regularly sees the inside of the church in some way after they're christened.

My husband is an ordained vicar, he is on a conveyor belt of Baptisms at the weekends (four a day) of babies born in lockdown whose parents wanted Baptism and couldn't access church as they were all closed.
He has a few thoughts

1. He is just glad that children are being Baptised and can be welcomed into the church formally.
2. Less parents are getting married then having children (no judgement we did the same) so people are seeing it as an more of an occasion than they did.
3. People want a way to celebrate the birth of their child and show off the baby (quite right too)
4. He hopes that even if one or two people from the family find something they like about church then they will come back.
5. He loves baptism because it is commiting a child or person into God's care.
6. The local high performing school requires that children are Baptised then confirmed (little do they know we have a list at the back of church for parents to sign to say that they have attended so Baptism and confirmation alone won't cut it.

TBH it does irritate me a little it means that I have sole care of three pain I the bum children all Sunday:)

I don't know either OP...
My DD went to a religious primary school so no trouble getting in. We had a big family celebration 8 weeks after her birth- ok, the cute baby stole the show!
DS was similar, he was born 2 weeks before DH 40th, so we had a big party.

The only thing I can think of is the upheaval & pep talks from both sides of the family because we chose not to do what seems to be the norm in some people's opinion.

I didn't know that people who weren't religious did have their babies christened! Really? No one in my acquaintance has had their children christened if they're not Christian themselves. I'm in my late 40's and I wasn't christened because my parents aren't religious.

Stop taking gifts. Traditionally only God parents give them.

What I thought was strange as a Catholic was that there are a number of people who each time I met them said something extremely critical of my faith, often even mocking me and my husband (we always politely listened and said nothing).

Then when we celebrated our children's sacraments (Baptism, First Communion; Confirmation) were upset they weren't invited?! They made it quite clear they wanted nothing to do with Christianity and thought it was absolutely acceptable to criticize us in our own home, even when partaking of our hospitality.

We genuinely thought they wouldn't be remotely interested! Bizarre.

If they did the same in a Muslim or Orthodox Jewish home would they then expect an invite to a religious event?? I don't understand people at all sometimes.

.... just in case

No different to non church goers getting married in a church.

Does that happen?

We didn't do one for DD precisely because we felt as we dont attend church its a bit hypocritical...

Yes, lots of my friends have got married in church despite not going to church, some people prefer the setting to a registry office (although admittedly now there are lots more choices)

@Toddlerteaplease I didn’t mention my dp. It was my adult ds who got married in church and the welsh minister was quite happy to marry him.
My own dh had to get married in a Catholic Church as it was important to me then.
Our priest made us attend lessons and my dh agreed to support my Catholicism, which tbf he has done.
I gave up on religion aged 57 when ill health stopped me attending church and I realised that none of my church going friends neither noticed or cared.
However if I wanted to have a church ceremony for any reason I would not care less about hypocrisy. I feel very comfortable in a church and if their is a God I absolutely know he wouldn’t judge me unlike many on this thread,

I think Church Going by Philip Larkin casts great light on your question OP.

"Being religious" and actually being a regular churchgoer are not always the same thing though. Even though these friends might not have gone to church regularly, presumably they would consider themselves Christians/religious? (Or at least one half of the couple would.)

A myth. Most committed Christians regard belonging to a religious community (ie a church), attending worship and being in fellowship with other Christians an essential part of Christian life. It would be like saying you’re a footballer without belonging to a football team. You can call yourself a Christian, but unless you go to church regularly you’re really not.
Cant disagree enough with this, some people don’t have time or the chance to go to church but regularly pray/talk to god. I have 4 children, a ft job and an elderly mother and a world of responsibilities but even without this I was always just taught that god was everywhere and mass was just that extra nod and acknowledgement. I go to mass a few times a year but say a short prayer or talk to god and any relatives in heaven regularly

@UWhatNow Some Christians have a relationship with God, read the bible regularly and pray but choose to not regularly attend church in order to avoid socialising or being exposed to wolves in sheep’s clothing.

The bible warns us to be wary of them so fair enough. It also advises us not to be judgmental. Do not judge and you also shall not be judged. For the measure that you use will be measured to you.

If I understand that correctly, if a person judges another person with their lack of knowledge, lack of grace, lack of love along with their fallibility then that is precisely how God will judge them? Most people are counting on God’s perfect love, grace and all knowing and omnipresence along with their own faith in Jesus. So, it seems like a huge risk to throw that all away for the opportunity to be judgemental. But, a wolf in sheep’s clothing probably wouldn’t care.

I do think what you're describing is more common for Protestants rather than Catholics@UWhatNow.
When I lived in the States for a while some friends were Baptists and I was surprised to see the emphasis they put on their own church group. As a Catholic I had been accustomed to attending any of the regular Masses in my local area at home...it didn't matter a bit which one you chose to go to really, in one village or the next.

Same radon the majority of us celebrate Xmas and Easter. We like the non religious aspects of it.

To get into the local school. For a party. For grandparents.

I went to a naming ceremony just before covid, It was great to meet the baby and welcome him to the family, I live a few hundred miles from the baby and parents and I don't know if I would have met him otherwise.

That's an interesting thought about Christian fellowship. I find it is other church goers who are more likely to put one off from church attendance. Much more so than God himself.

I'm not a Christian but I had all 3 of my children Christened at the Methodist Chapel right next to our house. I consider it to be 'my' church and have a connection to it even though I don't believe in a Christian God.

I wanted them to have a religion and as we celebrate the Christian festivals and they go (because it's local) to a CofE school it made sense to choose that religion for them.

The Methodist minister said that our Godparents didn't have to make any promises that they didn't believe and was happy for them to just promise to support us and the children to lead good lives.

Afterwards we had afternoon tea at our house, I don't remember any gifts.

Having your child christened in any church involves undertaking to bring the child up in that religion. If you have no intention of doing that then you are a hypocrite,