To wonder why people that aren't religious have their children christened

[leavethewallalone]

I've been to a lot of christenings lately. None of the families are in any way religious. The other children in the family were also christened, and outside of their christening, do not practice religion, attend church, etc. I have lost track on how much we must have spent on christening gifts which I can't really afford right now, but also don't like turning up without anything.

One family didn't want a christening but instead had a naming ceremony (for a 9 month old...who had been named 9 months ago). They received piles of gifts and in truth I did wonder if the whole thing was just for that.

The only reason I can think of is tradition within the family, but none of the family members are religious either and parents aren't christened

I haven't been christened, DH has, we didn't get DS christened, it wasn't really on my radar as I am not religious at all, neither is DH come to that so it would have been a waste of time to bother with a christening which wouldn't mean anything

It would seem quite odd rocking up to some random church for a ceremony that you don't really care about.

I imagine there are lots of reasons!
Tradition
Family pressure
To get into a good school
For the party
To give their child a start so that they can choose for themselves when they are older - amongst lots of other reasons.
You don't HAVE to attend a christening any more than you HAVE to attend a wedding! And you certainly don't HAVE to provide an expensive gift. Those are your choices, the christening is theirs.

My DD would not have got into the CoE primary school she did if she hadn't been baptised.

Many non religious people enjoy the institution of the church as a back drop to key life events.
They enjoy the tradition/ceremony/gravitas/drama/sense of occasion it brings. Which is fine. The church is there to serve a purpose, and be used or not, as and when people see fit.

Insurance

Like @Mumoftwoinprimary we're always delighted to welcome christening families to our church. We've already got loads of kids and it's very lively so families tend to feel relaxed and happy when they come, and the kids enjoy the children's groups. There's no sense of judging them for having a christening if they are not sure about faith, because we are just pleased they are here. We've had quite a few stay on and become part of the furniture themselves :)

Yes! Catholic Churches may be stricter (I don’t know) but generally CoE will baptise anyone- although some do ask the parents to do a course or attend a couple of times. I’m a Christian but my husband and I weren’t married when we had our daughter and the vicar didn’t bat an eyelid. He was also very kind about including our daughter when we got married a few years later.

I personally believe that baptism is for anyone and there shouldn’t be any gate keeping of it. It should be a gift freely given, not a bunch of hoops to jump through to prove your worthiness.

This. We are social animals . Part of what drives the trust that allows us to function as a society is shared experiences. Festivals and celebrations are universal for humans across the world including celebrations that introduce a child formally into their society . Christenings adapted out of practices far older than Christianity…just like Easter and Christmas celebration.
I think the issue here is that there isn’t an widespread accepted civil ceremony for the introducing a child bit, christenings are still the best we have where people broadly know what’s expected and what it’s about. The humanists have definitely tried with “naming” ceremonies, but still doesn’t have that same recognition. Maybe in 100 years it’ll be much more the norm
I don’t disagree with op though, it is really hypocritical if you are atheist to make such commitments in a church.

I am a Christian and I am happy for people to have their children baptised whether they believe or not.

I didn't know receiving gifts off loads of people was something that happened for a baptism though.

If I was invited to a Christening I would bring a gift.

Hell would freeze over before I christened anything.

We had a naming ceremony for DD on her 2nd birthday. Just the close friends and family that would have come to a birthday party (we’re very disparate in terms of distance), but an opportunity to acknowledge that she was here and thriving and the role that everyone had taken in raising her. She had a lovely time with everyone and it was very special. No extra presents and just a birthday cake. Nobody had to dress up. It was a lovely day.

You don't have to go to church or 'practice' religion to be a Christian. It's in your thoughts and beliefs.

You don't have to be married to have your child baptised in a Catholic Church. One of the parents has to be already baptised though.

My MIL had all four of her boys christened, expected us to get DD christened when she was born, is not religious at all and never steps foot into a church unless invited to an event. Yet proceeded to take the piss out of her eldest sons wife for actually being a Christian and going to church

I organise baptisms in church. We welcome anyone who wants a baptism. We do meet the family to discuss the promises they will be making on behalf of the child. What they do with that information is up to them.
We love baptisms. The church is full of life and noise. Some may come back every week, some may come back at Christmas. Some we may never see again. But all will have had that small connection with God.
People often hold beliefs who don't attend church. A church is a building. Faith is what counts. And faith can be expressed in many different ways. I hardly attend because of family commitments. I have in the past. I will in the future. My faith remains.

Faith. You don't have to believe it, you just have to do it. Then you get the benefits of doing it. Sometimes it's not about believing, it's about belonging.

Lots just like any chance to celebrate the birth of their baby with family and friends. A christening is the more traditional way of doing that, and a lot of people still find the idea of a baby naming a bit too modern I guess.

It many families a christening is just the dine thing still, but I do think it is lessening a lot.

Just because people isn't go to church or are traditionally religious, doesn't mean they have a total disbelief in god or spirituality. Mostly tradition, but they also feel the need for their child to be blessed.

An not any - any makes it sound more judgemental and I didn't mean it that way. I simply mean AN occasion to get together with family and friends to introduce them all to the baby and celebrate their arrival.

An acquaintance of mine's daughter had a baby shower, a gender reveal party, a christening and a first birthday party for her baby.

Christening, baptism, baby naming I have no issue with. Simply a way to celebrate the arrival with family and frequents.

Same with first birthday if they want - baby is here abd birthday parties are normal to hold whatever age.

Gender reveals I dislike - can't understand why the sex (it isn't gender, they're using gender as a twee way to say sex) of the baby is so important to wider family, unless there is a medical or genetic reason that makes one sex more of an issue than the other.

Baby showers I also dislike. I think it's partly the whole make/female divide - every baby shower I've heard of has been women only, which I find odd in the case of welcoming a baby into the family/friendship circle. I preferred the old way if just visiting the baby with a gift when it was born personally.

I was christened but I didnt christen my kids.

I grew up in Spain and loved going to church with my friend when I stayed with her. The church bit was boring but the chats afterwards and the social aspect and people organising to go out for lunch was brilliant. I loved that community thing and think it would be good if we still had that. Also would be great for people to have a chance to speak about any issues or anything we should be focusing on - climate change, bereavement, famine, addiction. Whatever.

Although my parents are atheists, I believed as a child. My parents just said to be a good person and then if there is a god or Gods or anything that is all that would be required.

In my experience of non-religious parents having a christening... It's just an excuse for a knees-up, gifts, and all attention on you/your baby.

My cousins (who live 2 hours away - but who I'm on good terms with) had all their kids christened. I attended the christenings of their first children, but didn't bother for all their subsequent (many!) kids. For kid 2 of each I sent a pretty card and a little outfit in the post. Subsequent kids just got a card.

DH and I are both as atheist as they come, and chose not to have either of our 2 christened. We briefly considered a naming ceremony when they were born, but then decided it was really just the same, slightly grabby, "look at meeee!" event as an actual christening. Just dressed up differently.

It's not always grabby, we brought DS to the church with 2 godparents went for lunch and came home.

I had a party for DD my first. I didn't particularly want to, at the time we were living in Belfast christening celebrations are like weddings.

People were aghast that I intended to come straight home.

It was a good day for a party but I'd no intention of doing it again and DP's Grandmother was really happy the baby wouldn't end up in hell. 😅

Agree with this. I'm in ROI and, though the Catholic church has lost a lot of its power now, most of us are still culturally Catholic. I was brought up going to Mass every Sunday but go rarely now. It is still a comfort when I go.

Choosing to baptise my children wasn't at all about gifts or a party. I could have done without organising a party and many had very kindly given gifts already anyway. And I never put anything to do with the children on social media so that wasn't a factor.

Most of the schools are still Catholic here (though that is slowly changing) but you don't have to be Catholic or practising to attend one. In fact Catholic religion is not allowed to be a requirement for entry to Catholic schools here, though other minority religious schools are allowed selection on the basis of religion.

I think those who choose not to baptise (as Catholic, or CoI etc) are either from different religious backgrounds with different traditions or are very strongly atheist/anti-religion. If you don't feel too strongly about it, or you're not sure, you tend to go along with tradition. That doesn't necessarily mean you haven't thought deeply about it by the way. You can think a lot and still not be sure of the truth.