To expect the hospital to be more considerate of pregnant mums?

[buttercuplizzy]

My 3 year old son broke his leg 2 weeks ago and has been in hospital since. He is expected to be in hospital another week.

I cannot fault the care my Son has received, it has been exceptional. But I am 30 weeks pregnant and I'm at breaking point. I suffered badly from Hypermesis, which has been under control for several months now. But the lack of sleep, proper food, stress etc is having such a toll on my body. My nausea and sickness has come back and I just feel broken and at the point I am worrying about the health of myself and baby....

Am I sounding melodramatic? We have a daughter at home to care for and not a massive amount of family support. I am struggling with the lack of sleep, caused by being on a busy ward with lots of middle of the night admittance. Im struggling with the physical care my son needs. Im struggling with the poor diet.

I understand my son, and not me, is the patient. But surely they have a duty of care towards pregnant women? Im exhausted, how can I respectfully raise this with staff? I just feel like I need more help and a quieter environment- not sure if either are possible. Or any other solutions- me and my husband are currently doing alternating 24 hour shifts.

Entitled?

A heavily pregnant woman with pregnancy-related conditions, sleeping fully clothed on a camp bed with nothing but the most basically hideous hygiene facilities and snatching shit food where she can get it?

Jesus.

Thank you for sharing your >40 year old story.

Just eat/deloveroo and the likes delivered when iv had to stay in. Iv also took freezer bag of ready salads, flask soup, sandwiches, fruit.

I bet your parents didn’t love it. I remember my sister being in when she was 3 at a similar time and how much it upset my parents to not have the option to stay.

as the mum of a frequent flyer not having a parent/grandparent there wokld have without doubt been detrimental to his recovery

@buttercuplizzy

Please please make sure your husband does the bulk of the overnights.

You will make yourself even worse.

I'm really sorry for you. Honestly, general hospital care is terrible for parents. They have no facilities and you will become properly ill.

Your husband will have a much easier time.

1: he's not pregnant
2: some kind women will take pity on him and help because he's a man (not even joking) so be prepared for him to not have the same experience as you.

Please take care and I hope your son is out of hospital very soon.

And let’s not forget a husband who is letting it happen!

Entitled? Yes. Especially for thinking the nurses should sort it out instead of her husband.

Lots of assumptions here about how my husband is hopeless. He isn't. But he is human too and is struggling. On top of juggling both of our jobs and our daughter at home. He has agreed to take over the main bulk of the hospital visitation.

During covid we weren't allowed to use the parents kitchen. There was also no chance to buy anything either, I would have happily paid for some dinner or a sandwich or something but nope. Funny enough I didn't think to take meals with me that wouldn't spoil and wouldn't need cooking when we rushed in, DH dropped off 2 bags of stuff to main reception following all of the rules at the time and neither made their way to us. I don't see the harm in saying its hard on parents sometimes, I don't think OP was blaming the staff. But it's sad how low our expectations are.

@buttercuplizzy have you been to maternity for monitoring as you haven’t felt baby move all day?

I think this is the best option. You have a poorly child and you’ll end up with a poor pregnant mum too.
I hope you get some rest.

Op why are you trying to juggle your jobs , a sick child, and a child at home ?
Take parental leave , no job is more important than your health and that of your unborn child.

I've been shocked by the replies too OP. I think it sounds like a really tough situation. Hope it gets better for you very soon.

Did we ever work out why the child is in hospital for 3 weeks with a broken leg?

Yes, I replied up the thread! Traction.

If a small child is on traction then they’ll be in hospital for about 3 weeks, depending on the age of the child.

Take time off work. Make use of friends offering help. Don’t make life harder for yourselves, focus on survival for now

I don’t know if there are covid rules with staying at the hospital you are in, so can’t comment.

But yes of course you’re allowed to ask for help. I wouldn’t expect a heavily pregnant woman to be putting up the camp beds. Generally the HCAs tend to put them up and down, but again it depends on where you work.

You can leave to go get food or a drink. Is there no kitchen you can nip to, to make a drink or use the microwave? Costa? Or a shop? They just have something. I’ve never worked in a hospital with zero facilities. Go when he’s asleep or ask if someone can keep an eye on him.

Yes patients get admitted at any time and we put them we we need to. Sicker patients get beds nearer the nurse’s desk where we can see them. Infectious patients or immunocompromised patients get the cubicles. Even if you did get a side room chances are you would quickly enough get moved back out again as it would be needed. The beds may not all be full as it often depends on how many nurses they have or the dependency of the patients. There are staff to patient ratios (although we often get pushed over these numbers). Tell the staff you are struggling.

We are allowed to feed breast feeding mums but otherwise being caught feeding anyone else is a disciplinary offence. Get your DH to bring in some food and clothes and some toys from home, iPad etc, favourite teddy. Often this helps. Also, we used to decorate the traction beds, don’t know if anyone does this now but it was something nice to get the child involved in.

It’s noisy and tiring, I remember being in the ‘other side’ as a mum too.

Yes this. I am obviously not a doctor, but they said they do this over surgery for young children. Then he will come home in a cast.

I know you said you don’t have a lot of family support but do you have any extended family who could come and stay with you/stay locally to help out when he is discharged so your husband can stay off to do the hospital stuff now and then return to work when he is home?

as you are having pregnancy related issues too can you get signed off work now through to maternity leave starting?

My parents had 4 other children at home, and were both working … no way one of them would have been able to stay

.. why are people so spiky on here … it was just an annecdote, about his different things were years ago. You could have chosen to ignore it, or maybe just thought it was pointless … however It bothered you to such an extent that you wanted to post about how pointless it was.

you’re so cool …

I hope things improve op .
There are some very nasty responses on here.

Please just ask them. Just voice your concerns and ask of there's anywhere else for longer term patients away from constant new admitted ones. Just explain and I'm sure they'll be understanding. Even if there's nothing they can do, at least you'll know and they'll understand you all better. Being in hospital is rotten. Even if he's bed bound, is there a way of moving the bed or transferring him to he can go up and down the ward for a period? That sounds like a long time in one spot for a little lad. Also you have to have your partner do the bulk, you cannot function with HG. I understand how you feel there and trust me, take all the help and just do day visits until its over. Daddy has to be there instead, you need to focus on baby. Your son and daughter will survive without slightly less attention and energy from mummy xo

My dad was a nurse late 70s to late 90s and shocked when I explained the set up. It does seem to have changed a lot.

Is your dad in a position to give you a couple of nights? As a retired nurse, seems an ideal solution.

I'm so sorry, OP, being in hospital is miserable. My DD was in for over a week and as it was a more covid-y time, they wouldn't let me and her dad swap over so I was stuck there the whole time. I well remember the night interruptions, setting up the miserable little camp bed, the lack of anything decent to eat (while I'm 100% grateful I was allowed to stay with her). I can't imagine doing it pregnant!

So .... I'd definitely suggest your husband do the bulk of the staying on the ward. You be at home with your daughter.

Now is the time to reach out to any friends/coworkers/extended family/neighbors who are willing to help out, even if it's just dropping by a home-cooked meal or taking your daughter to the park for a few hours.

Good luck!