To ask if your DH or DP still goes down on you?

[HonestAnswersOnly]

DH used to when we were dating. Then he tailed off as we became a proper couple. He hasn't done it once since we married 6 years ago.

I've made comments, joked about it, he says sure. Bit it's all funny. And then we have sex and he goes absolutely no where near it. Just wham bam thank you mam.

I could be more direct with my request but I'm fairly sure he actually really isn't keen on it and it makes me feel ashamed that he would need to be persuaded into it.

Not looking for relationship advice (though fuck knows I need it)...just intrigued to find out if it still happens for other women in long term relationships?

Or do all men stop when they think they don't have to anymore?

Yes mine does. Probably more than we have actual PIV sex.

Every ex wasn’t the me to do it either and I didn’t have a very satisfying sex life. I’m actually pretty bored of blokes. Theyre quick to say what they want but as soon as I do… crickets.

Every ex HASNT done it with me either that should be.

Well, this makes a change from parking and other neighbour disputes.

Been together 30 years and it's still a regular thing. He knows I enjoy it and I will return the gesture 🤷‍♀️

OP do you give him oral sex?

My DH loves giving me oral sex and I love giving it back but it isn't a transactional thing. In fact I don't think we've ever had a 'I did you now you do me' process. We both very much go with what happens when we feel it. Yesterday for example, we were both working from home, kids were at school and we had sex 3 times, including 2 blow job's entirely initiated by me. He went down on me the night before and we didn't do anything but that - although we then masturbated together and he finished.

My point is, you really, really need to communicate your needs. Not ask for anything, just state your needs. If he's refusing to have even a conversation about it, that's really upsetting for you and you should not have to put up with a unsatisfactory sex life where he isn't even willing to have dialogue.

DH still does (together 21 years) I can't remember the last time he did, but he did mention it had been a while yesterday, and he wanted to.

Dunno, we're both women and it's an integral part of our sex life together. "Happy Wife, Happy Life" as the saying goes.

Have you talked to him about it?

100% almost a decade in and he still maintains it’s his favourite thing to do

Pretty much every time we have sex, for the last 17 years. He loves it and always makes sure I come before we move on. We often 69 though which I find makes me less self conscious.

My ex was the same op when we first got together he done it every time then he just stopped and didn’t do it for years! It was weird as he did it all the time in the beginning. 😕

Yes my OH of nearly 12 years still does.

Every time we have sex and I reciprocate usually!

if he's not into it he's not into it but i wouldn't have married a man who wasn't.

wham bam thank you bam is fine, good even on occasion, but it doesn't sound like the basis for a satisfying sex life.

you should have a conversation with him about the various issues. couples don't discuss their sex lives enough.

well he's not parking his face where she wishes he would, so it could just about be filed under 'parking dispute' category.

Mine does - every time. Been married almost 20 years.

Without going into detail about our sex life, yes, there absolutely are men who continue being thoughtful/exciting/playful/adventurous/making an effort with sex.

However if he’s not actually keen then that changes everything - as you’ve said, in that case there’s not a lot that can be done as you certainly wouldn’t want him to have to be persuaded.

However ‘wham bam’ doesn’t sound good - it sounds as if he’s only into his own needs being met, and that has nothing to do with whether or not he likes to give oral sex (unless that’s the only way you can orgasm).

Never tried it, kinda sounds like I'm missing out! 😂

Yes. But you have nothing to be ashamed of, just ask directly. Do you go down on him?

Been with DH for over 7 years and he still does it about once a week.

Very frequently but not every time, because he can be busy doing other things that he knows I enjoy. Variety is the spice of life.

Me too!

My husband is far more keen on it than me, he does it everytime, I could take it or leave it, we are 17 years and 3 kids in.

Never tried it!?!?! It’s the best bit 😂