To ask if your DH or DP still goes down on you?

[HonestAnswersOnly]

DH used to when we were dating. Then he tailed off as we became a proper couple. He hasn't done it once since we married 6 years ago.

I've made comments, joked about it, he says sure. Bit it's all funny. And then we have sex and he goes absolutely no where near it. Just wham bam thank you mam.

I could be more direct with my request but I'm fairly sure he actually really isn't keen on it and it makes me feel ashamed that he would need to be persuaded into it.

Not looking for relationship advice (though fuck knows I need it)...just intrigued to find out if it still happens for other women in long term relationships?

Or do all men stop when they think they don't have to anymore?

Yes, often!
Open communication is so important for a healthy happy and fulfilling sex life. OP i’m sorry you’re feeling dissatisfied life is too short - talk to DH about your needs x

yes this exactly x

Wow! Seriously need up up my game! You ladies are banging - quite literally!

Mine does, usually when he can’t be arsed having a full on sex session.

This thread title made me laugh because DP of 7 years has only just started going down on me - well, he had tried a couple of times in the past but his technique was a bit off and I didn’t orgasm from it, so he didn’t try it much.

And yes, I felt like I was missing out.

Then a couple of weeks ago, I decided I really wanted it so I got myself close to orgasm by hand (our failsafe method) then asked him to go down on me (it was an enthusiastic yes from him, he is very eager to please in bed) and then I directed him a bit - like “up a bit, down a bit” sort of thing to help his technique. And it bloody worked!

The other night he did it to me again, unasked, using his newly learned technique… and it bloody worked again!

I have been grinning like a Cheshire Cat ever since.

We are very middle aged by the way. In fact, I am nearly 50 and he is 15 years older than me. Always learning!

It seems pretty sad that you can be with someone who makes you laugh every day, but you'd rather leave him than say 'Im leaving unless our sex life improves'. What is the worst thing that can happen in that scenario?

I havent had sex with my hubby for 17 years so forgotten about that

It's my DH favourite thing to do. He probably enjoys it more than me. I can sometimes feel a bit self conscious about it

Been with dh for 21 years and I can count on one hand the number of times we have had sex without him going down on me; it’s part of sex for us.

Yes, it is a nice way to wake up 😀

My partner likes doing it to me and I do to him, so a few times a week along with other kinds of sex. Together 14 years.

Obviously no one should do something they don’t want to, but he isn’t satisfying you at ALL, or making any effort to.

It also doesn’t seem like you are happy full stop.

I would personally pull your financials and go see a solicitor, so you can at least begin to think about how you would manage separation if you decided to go there.

I don’t think this is any way to live.

The information here might help reassure him that testosterone isn't the only treatment offered. It depends what's causing it.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/erection-problems-erectile-dysfunction/

ED can be an early warning sign for heart problems (narrower arteries down there) so it's definitely worth from a general health pov discussing it with his doctor even if he doesn't want to take T.

I'm so sorry that he hasn't even gone to the doctor's to discuss it - he ought to care about this for you as well as for himself.

My partner is diabetic and has intermittent ED problems (have some tablets to help that - not testosterone - if necessary) We've gone through good patches and bad patches sex wise (not just the ED but its part of the picture too), but we're in a long bad patch at the moment and I'm worried that it won't get better and it's just generally mix matched drives and age gap etc.

My DP enjoys it, I’m the reluctant one. I just don’t really care too much for it.

Nope he doesn't not any foreplay apart from touching my breasts I've told him 1000 times he still wants me to go down on him but I've stopped. You can't end a marriage over lack of foreplay so I feel trapped.

Mine doesn’t do it. Believe me when I say I have tried to discuss it many, many times.

He did it when we very first started dating but even then it was half hearted.

It has now reached the point where even if he attempted to do it (no doubt after me begging), I wouldn’t even be able to enjoy it.

Married 14 years. Been together 17.

It really does make me dream about being with
someone who wholeheartedly wanted to do it. I dont orgasm from PIV.

Every. Single. Time.

😊

Very similar. Looking back I can see it's been half heartened even from the start. I think that's why I'm reluctant to talk to him about it because I know he doesn't want to and that makes me feel awful about myself

Used to try and stick it up my arse though a lot in the early days 😱.

10 years married and yes he does, nearly every time. Some men really don't like it though and maybe your H is one of those?
How important is it to you?

I would never ask my husband to do anything sexual he’s not happy with.

Yes. We’ve been together 33 years, married for 27 and we both really enjoy oral. These days, it’s the only way i orgasm.

Neither is has ever been very keen on the mouth/genital thing though we did try it early on.

Do you go down on him still? Oral sex can also cause cancer.

www.theguardian.com/film/2013/jun/02/michael-douglas-oral-sex-cancer

No gross. Its so gross 🤢

bit harsh I think! I took this as her sharing her own views. I didn’t sense any judgement.

and they wonder why people don't give 100% attention to their work when wfh 😂😂😂😂

You don’t think ‘fairly gross’ is a judgment?

#teamcunnilingus #teamblowjob