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Stepson eats with us but my kids don’t

335 replies

Leftie202 · 24/06/2022 16:35

This is probably going to sound petty, I’m pregnant and having a difficult one so maybe I’m just being silly and emotional and ridiculous.

so dp and I live together, he has a child from previous, and I have 3 from previous. My children are with us mon-fri, his fri-mon, apart from holidays where we have them all together for at least half the week.

when my children are here, I tend to give them their tea about 5.30-6, and then me and dp eat later usually around 7.30 as he’s not normally home till then. By this time kids are in bed or at least having quiet time in their rooms so we eat and watch some tv, this is our time I suppose. We both work full time so evenings are the only time we get really like most parents I guess.

when his son comes to us, he always has tea with us, and it’s not because we eat earlier weekends, we don’t, we still eat around 7.30 as that’s just our routine now, but he always eats with us, even if it’s a takeaway. My partner likes my children in bed by 7.30, so we can have some us time, that’s fine, I totally agree with it, but at weekends For my step son it’s different. He eats with us, and doesn’t go up till 8.30-9. He’s 5 if that makes a difference. My kids are a bit older, youngest being 8. I brought it up with my partner that I think his son should eat earlier then we eat separately like we do in the week, but he thinks I’m being absolutely ridiculous.

just to add, in the holidays when we have all together, they all eat separately and go up, we eat tea just us 2. So it’s only the weekends.. but I don’t think it’s very fair to be honest. He has this rule for my children but not his own? Shouldn’t it be the same for all of them? I honestly don’t know if I’m being a knob here so please tell me if I am and I’ll drop it.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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Autumnterm · 30/06/2022 15:37

@PleasantBirthday Of course it happens. I am an adult, I work, and during the week I was not at home to eat dinner at 5.30 when my child was 3,4,5 years old. Nor did I think it fair or appropriate to keep a small child up late to eat dinner when I came home.

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PleasantBirthday · 30/06/2022 15:49

Autumnterm · 30/06/2022 15:37

@PleasantBirthday Of course it happens. I am an adult, I work, and during the week I was not at home to eat dinner at 5.30 when my child was 3,4,5 years old. Nor did I think it fair or appropriate to keep a small child up late to eat dinner when I came home.

I'm also an adult who works but I don't see any reason for a child to have dinner alone - or that early.

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AryaStarkWolf · 30/06/2022 15:51

7:30 is way too early for kids of that age to go to bed

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Popcorn77 · 30/06/2022 20:16

PleasantBirthday · 30/06/2022 15:49

I'm also an adult who works but I don't see any reason for a child to have dinner alone - or that early.

Mine would be asleep by 630 so 530 is as late as they could manage dinner at that age?

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RampantIvy · 30/06/2022 20:35

How old are your children @Popcorn77?

Even as a baby/toddler DD was never ready for bed at 6.30.

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DelosParks · 30/06/2022 20:39

Mine would be asleep by 630 so 530 is as late as they could manage dinner at that age?

Thirteen year olds are not asleep by 6.30 though and that's what we are talking about.

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Popcorn77 · 30/06/2022 20:45

RampantIvy · 30/06/2022 20:35

How old are your children @Popcorn77?

Even as a baby/toddler DD was never ready for bed at 6.30.

Now they are older & still wide awake making a racket!! But up to age 7ish they would have been down by 630/7.
i agree op’s kids are too old but in general we often have different meal times for all sorts of reasons.

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Popcorn77 · 30/06/2022 20:46

No but the comment I replied to specified younger kids

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Ginger1982 · 30/06/2022 20:49

So what's happened tonight?

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RampantIvy · 30/06/2022 20:55

Now they are older & still wide awake making a racket!! But up to age 7ish they would have been down by 630/7.

At age 7 DD went to Brownies, which didn't start until 6.15 and finished at 7.45. She just wasnt tired so early in the evening.

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