Debating between these two countries. Which is better to bring children up in?

[Mixedfeelings89]

England or America. I am from England, Husband is American. We are not rich, nor poor therefore we would be living a average lifestyle. My only concern is which country will be better for the children? If we didn't have children I wouldn't really care which country either way. I just want the best for the children. Children are not yet school age, if that makes a difference.

Thanks in advance.

The USA is so vast and I imagine the experience of bringing up kids there varies from state to state even more than it would for different regions of the UK. That said I wouldn't be able to.move psst the gun laws there

I don't really know the US - I have never been there. But from what I know and the people I have met (sorry it's shallow) I would choose the UK.

My know DS we’re born in the US, I lived there for 10 years (DH is also British). We moved back when the kids were ages 2 & 3. Maternity leave is max 3 months, professional jobs aren’t very family friendly, longer work hours, lot less holidays, I struggled immensely and we both had great jobs, good insurance, etc.

on the American side we loved the weather and the lifestyle (California) and if we’d have had family support in the US it might have been different.

I've lived in both. It's hard to say, there are advantages to both countries. Of course there are issues in the US that don't exist in the UK, but day to day they don't impact our lives.

Overall you would likely have a better quality of life in the US (depending on where you are living). There are some fantastic family friendly communities. And you will earn more than in the UK. But cost of living can be very high in some States.

We know so many families here who have a very high standard of living, beautiful houses, lovely kid friendly neighbourhoods, weekends away, owning cabins in the mountains or by the beach... just higher than the majority of our friends in the UK. But that's with both parents working full time. Also the job market is better, I think and salaries are high. Even for lower paid jobs like nurses and teachers.

Honestly I think it would depend where in the UK you are living and where you would more to in the US. There are definitely some States I would not live in!

Your kids could have a great life in either country.

Worked for a U.K./US company.

The direction of travel to work/live for families with children was wholly to the U.K.

The reverse for singles and couples without children.

I live in the U.K. but have spent a lot of time in the US and think it's a great country (people forget in the U.K. how big/diverse it is).

I'd absolutely love to life in some parts of the US but not others.

So in general to a answer your question I'd say U.K., but I'd qualify that by asking where in the US you'd relocate to.

Hmm

Guns in schools... anti abortion movement.... obesity... privatised healthcare.... lack of paid holiday and maternity....

UK every time

I would not willingly live in a country where my children were drilled in what to do if a gunman entered their school.

I am starting to find some of these things almost comical. The average person in the US has access to good affordable health care. Our healthcare system is better in many ways than the NHS, we just pay for it differently. No one is denied treatment for not having insurance. A lot of preventative care is free. And I’m not sure what all this stuff about a lack of women’s rights is either. Apart from abortion (a state issue and not a universal problem across the county) and the maternity leave issue, I don’t think women are lacking any rights and there are actually a lot of legal protections in place. And employment rights are not nearly as awful as people make out, neither is crime. As for forced child marriages I think someone has been watching too many Netflix documentaries or reading conspiracy theory sites! I could spin off a list of things I have read about the UK in the last week that would make the average American think the UK is the worst place in the world to live but that obviously isn’t the case. For someone deciding between the two it comes down to the specifics of the job, the location and what the family wants out of life.

@Pumperthepumper An escape route?! I despair.

With what specifically?

USA.

We left England to live in central coastal Florida in 2011. We lasted three years and returned in 2014.

• It’s bloody hot. Winter is really the only time of year you can be comfortable outside


• Gun crime /drug related crime is terrifying, we lived in a gated beachside community with armed security. Also lots of homeless people in tents and begging. But still just outside our community a man was shot and killed while filling his car with petrol. At our local chemist a drug addict attacked a woman and bit half her face off.


• schools are terrible, and low security as it’s all outdoor…as in every classroom has a door to the outside and the buildings are long rectangles of a series of classrooms. It’s not a big building with a few entrance/exits that can be locked.


• So we sent the DC to a fee paying school that had magnetic locking high fence around it and armed security that patrolled the perimeter. The DC did live shooter drills and every classroom had a bullet proof steel shelter constructed in the back and the children practiced sheltering in there. The school also sold bullet proof backpacks so if a shooting started up in the school car park, your child’s torso would have some protection.


• Alligators are in every body of fresh water. There is no feeding the ducks at a lake in a park. You keep yourself and DC at least 10m away from the shore at all times.


• lots of poisonous snakes and spiders


• mould is a big issue…it grows everywhere even on the tarmac and house roofs inside your air con ducts and vents.


• the fresh fruit and veg has to be trucked in by lorry and so often the grocery shops would have barely edible fruit and veg.


• hurricanes

OP you really aren't going to get a balanced answer on MN - many here think life in the US is Hell. Despite that, millions of people live there quite happily, not all of them wealthy. It seems to me the average person in the UK has no idea about real life in the US.

England over America, no question whatsoever.

There is no way on this earth you could get me to move to America.

Canada on the other hand sounds perfect - I've been there numerous times and it's one of my favourite ever places.

No one is denied treatment for not having insurance.
Yeah, they are forced to “refuse’ treatment because they cannot pay for it….and quite often die as a result.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jan/07/americans-healthcare-medical-costs

US if you could pick anywhere and don’t have to end up in a big city, not that being in a big city in the UK would be my cup of tea either. I’m not thrilled with UK healthcare, so that certainly wouldn’t keep me in the UK.

This sounds like a terrible experience but is not the norm. The majority of people in the US do not live in a gated community t yet hey are afraid to leave because of violent crime and homeless people nor do we send our kids to private schools with armed security and bullet proof shelters, I have never even heard of such a thing elsewhere. It’s terrible that you had a bad experience but that does not represent the whole of Florida and certainly not the whole US.

I’d like to live on the east coast despite the cold winters but not elsewhere and defintely not anywhere in the middle. I defintely have zero interest in Scotland, way too rainy and dull and cold 90% of the time

It depends where. I live in San Fran for a while and I absolutely loved it, one of the main reasons I returned to the UK was because of the crap rugby in California. I enjoyed my work, my home was nice, there was a really good community spirit.

Britinnyc

The maternity leave thing really is a big big one for a lot of women. People thing states where you can get 3 months are good.

In the UK you can take a full year plus accrued holiday of four weeks and we think its not enough.

I’m neither in the UK or America right now but hell would freeze over before I would move to America. Guns, lack of social security. I’m staying where I am with free healthcare, free schools with great food, 7 weeks paid holiday, 1,5 years paid maternity leave. My very sick dad was recently in hospital for 8 weeks with serious surgery and paid nothing. I’m staying.

This is not a typical experience of life in the US. The only bit I relate to is the alligators - I stay away from bodies of water in Florida but that's like, you know, nature. They were there first. oh and it is indeed bloody hot in the summers given its location.

True, most people cannot afford to live in a gated community or send their DC to safer private schools.

‘ not the norm’ so when did you live in Florida with DC? How would you know? NYC is worlds away from Florida (I know as I’ve lived in NY Upstate and NYC before too).

My children are significantly more likely to be killed at an American school than a British one.

That's enough for me.

Good grief, are these your only two choices? Lots of other places in the world which are better for bringing up children. UK is number 10 on this list... ceoworld.biz/2021/02/01/the-worlds-best-countries-for-raising-kids-2021/